The Dumbest thing someone has ever told you about dirt bikes

Cagiva's are super ridable bikes...

With these people, typically it’s back fat that has worked its way under the arms. 

Besides the countless times I’ve heard some squirrel say “I used to race pro” or “I used to race such and such” and then ask what’s your name? Only to be answered with tons of excuses like I was trying out for team Kawi and stubbed my toe and had to retire, blah, blah blah. 

Wouldn’t say dumbest but weirdest stories are from profeshenal125.  Dude is like 300 years old, had a job in every industry between hospital visits with more issues than Evil Knevil and is a ladies man due to being a basketball star in high school but settled for driving trucks 36 hrs a day…

Fun fact. Chris Farley dated that girl before he got famous.

I bought an old roaches out CR85 to fix up for my grandkids from a dude (cheap).

 According to him, the previous owner had put a 250 powerband in it. 
I asked him if he knew how much they had to trim off of the sides to get it to fit, and he said he wasn’t sure exactly, but it was quite a bit!

"Like new" - every used bike seller ever. 

Armor all on the front tire was why I ate shit!  I still laugh at that one.🙄

I had a coworker that just bought his first bike, so I tried to help him out. Gave him some advice on what gear and maintenance he should checkout and he responded with " helmets are for pussies" He proceeded to crash just a couple weeks later and scraped up his arm a little. Dude sold the bike immediately and confessed that the bike scares the shit out of him. 

That four strokes don’t have power bands! 

Or being asked if a particular engine has a power band or a power valve??🤷‍♀️

That's a great quote.... tough guys, walking into the gym, have to walk sideways through the door, they're so tough.  

PNWMXer : “Can’t be…I just put in 59 cents two days ago..”

Thing is, I'm old enough to have gone for a days riding on just about that amount.

In the early 70s, as a teenager, I used to pedal up to the tiny little petrol station about a  mile from me, with some coins, and get a couple of gallons, for that days riding in the Bush / Paddocks near me. 

Cripes some of us had it good in our youth. 

I've still got the Bush / Mountains to ride in only few few hundred meters from me, so I'm luckier than many others,  but the paddocks are now full of houses. 

Never raced 

That my KTM was built by Kawasaki. 

My favorite and I have heard alot. I put an x brand of pipe on my bike, now its 20mph faster!

I had x shop jet my carb now its 10mph faster!

I always reply, did you change to an aftermarket CDI box?

Did you change sprockets?

The looks I get.

1

Fun fact, Jim Pomeroy is the one that taught Evil how to ride wheelies.

"You're too old to ride dirt bikes. It's a kid's game." 

I'm only in my 40's, but apparently that is beyond retirement age for local riding/racing. 🤣

"The dirt bike has all that suspension on it, can't be that hard."

My theory on that is that people your age and older that have stopped "living" have to justify their own behavior by labeling others like yourself as crazy. 

You are addicted to motorcycles 

Easy, one of mine is Blue the other is Orange. One sounds like a bullfrog fart , the other sounds like a velociraptor screaming. 

In 1989 or so there was a guy who I saw at Millville a few times.  Raced in the open C class with me.   He had a KX500.  He wore overalls, a white t-shirt, MX boots and an open face helmet.  He was pretty fast.  No idea if nitrous was involved.🤣

Maybe??

I was driving a Jet A tanker truck. Was at a gas station getting diesel fuel.  A guy saw the "Jet A' markings on my truck and told me that he runs jet fuel in his Banshee and it runs like a raped ape!

Don't pull out.... oppssss... supposed to be moto

60:1 makes your smoker faster

When I was a kid, my family lived way out in the country, but a neighbor who lived miles away would complain about the noise.  One day, he showed up to yell at us from the other side of the fence.  He told us to take the pipes and silencers off our motorcycles because he firmly believed they caused the bikes to be loud.  We were just kids trying to explain that the pipes and silencers made the bikes quieter, but he wouldn't have it.  He was a raving lunatic.  LOL..

That they used to be sponsored by “Suzuki” back when reedy was riding them, and that he had an “8” stroke. When I asked him what an 8 stroke was he said it was a bigger bike with much larger tires like you would find on a lifted truck.

Back in the 80s when the CRs had blue seats, my dad rode an '84 CR 250 and I had an '83 CR60 which we were very 'proud of'.  After ever ride they got pressure washed with a hot diesel pressure washer so they really were spotless and literally stored in our kitchen (we didn't have a garage).  Well, to your point, once we got them in the kitchen, I got the joy of going over every knobby with Armor All, and the final touch was to always put a heavy coat of Armor All on.....  Our nice and shiny seats 🤦‍♂️

Some kid back in HS got an older ninja 600. Rumor quickly spread that this bike had "Jetted Carbs"