How to train your gooch

crockett
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crockett
Edited Date/Time 3/9/2022 11:46am
The obvious answer is ride time.
But if you had a 2hr+ off-road race coming up in a month and half the race was on a track. What products or protection would you use to help the scrotum survive the onslaught
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Grouper
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Grouper 3/7/2022 1:09pm
3/7/2022 1:09pm
crockett wrote:
The obvious answer is ride time. But if you had a 2hr+ off-road race coming up in a month and half the race was on a...
The obvious answer is ride time.
But if you had a 2hr+ off-road race coming up in a month and half the race was on a track. What products or protection would you use to help the scrotum survive the onslaught
mods can we move this to the hall of fame right now please

My thoughts are going to be some quality tight briefs that keep everything locked in and show up to the race fresh and clean. Get pants that fit well too. I find that all the abuse comes from movement between me and the pants. When everything is tight, then you stay locked in. Probably stay away from topical products because your're locked in for a 2 hour torture session if you dont like the outcome. Good luck lmao.
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murph783
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murph783 3/7/2022 1:12pm
3/7/2022 1:12pm
Maybe padded mtb shorts? But I dunno that could just be more shit to move around and make it worse
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GrapeApe
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GrapeApe 3/7/2022 1:22pm
3/7/2022 1:22pm
Chamois Butt'r works well for my undercarriage
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TheGetFresh 3/7/2022 1:23pm
3/7/2022 1:23pm
You gotta be specific, dude. You worried about chafing, jostling, swamping, swinging, jamming, batwing, monkey butt, dickery doos (and dickery don’ts) nipping, ripping, dipping, curly swirlies, skidmarks (red or or brown), prickly heat or some other crotch demon?
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vtnewb
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vtnewb 3/7/2022 1:30pm
3/7/2022 1:30pm
MTB chamoise just make it worse. I use tight ethika boxer briefs and DeezNuts. Good shit.
Titan1
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Titan1 3/7/2022 1:33pm
3/7/2022 1:33pm
If you are racing off-road...and getting monkey butt...you aren't standing up enough.

But I always wear cycling shorts under my riding gear (the kind that feel like I'm wearing a diaper)...that is more than sufficient....but seriously though, just stand up more.
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Thisusernameisavailable 3/7/2022 1:42pm
3/7/2022 1:42pm
TheGetFresh wrote:
You gotta be specific, dude. You worried about chafing, jostling, swamping, swinging, jamming, batwing, monkey butt, dickery doos (and dickery don’ts) nipping, ripping, dipping, curly swirlies...
You gotta be specific, dude. You worried about chafing, jostling, swamping, swinging, jamming, batwing, monkey butt, dickery doos (and dickery don’ts) nipping, ripping, dipping, curly swirlies, skidmarks (red or or brown), prickly heat or some other crotch demon?
or Jock itch.... that can be a real bastard that one..
quadzrulebro 3/7/2022 2:38pm
3/7/2022 2:38pm
I wear Under Armor cooling pants under my riding pants and nothing else. They wick away moisture and cool you, plus they protect your legs from chafing caused by knee braces or regular knee guards. I won’t ride without them. The UA stores at outlet malls always have them for a good price.
Supermega1
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Supermega1 3/7/2022 2:43pm
3/7/2022 2:43pm Edited Date/Time 3/7/2022 2:43pm
Hammer Nutrition Seat Saver

Gripper seats with Ribs are your enemy.

I stand up 95% of my riding and only sit for tight corners. But I am just doing dez stuff, so it's a lot easier to be able to do that.

3-6 hour rides are pretty normal.
rohleder644
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rohleder644 3/7/2022 3:06pm
3/7/2022 3:06pm
Gotta toughen up that taint son! Getcha a nice patch of leather worked in there after some 3 hour motos. I swore by baby powder in the riding shorts as an adolescent. Life’s toughened me (and my once tender undercarriage) up over the years and I find the baby powder unnecessary. I run a pair of snug fitting Lycra boxer briefs and call it good.
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ML512
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ML512 3/7/2022 3:07pm
3/7/2022 3:07pm
The thread we never knew we needed. Laughing
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BigBoreFan58
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BigBoreFan58 3/7/2022 3:17pm
3/7/2022 3:17pm
If you have any butt-crack issues, a dab of Vaseline pre-race is the way to go. Lube it up good, but don't double dip, especially if you're sharing the jar.



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Zesiger 112
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Zesiger 112 3/7/2022 3:19pm
3/7/2022 3:19pm Edited Date/Time 3/7/2022 3:29pm
Scrotum? Tuck it in your boot, duh
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Falcon
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Falcon 3/7/2022 3:41pm
3/7/2022 3:41pm
Start riding your MTB a lot. Compared to that, any amount of time on a motorcycle will be a cakewalk.
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Grouper
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Grouper 3/7/2022 4:00pm
3/7/2022 4:00pm
TheGetFresh wrote:
You gotta be specific, dude. You worried about chafing, jostling, swamping, swinging, jamming, batwing, monkey butt, dickery doos (and dickery don’ts) nipping, ripping, dipping, curly swirlies...
You gotta be specific, dude. You worried about chafing, jostling, swamping, swinging, jamming, batwing, monkey butt, dickery doos (and dickery don’ts) nipping, ripping, dipping, curly swirlies, skidmarks (red or or brown), prickly heat or some other crotch demon?

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hellion
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hellion 3/7/2022 4:05pm
3/7/2022 4:05pm
I used to Vaseline up before hare scrambles or enduro and use pedaling shorts. But this stuff has been a game changer. No more monkey butt. And it’s even hard to wash off in the shower after a good long ride. Good stuff


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MotofactioN
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MotofactioN 3/7/2022 4:07pm
3/7/2022 4:07pm
Instead of wearing those Ethika’s when you ride, just freeball
profeshenal125 3/7/2022 5:23pm
3/7/2022 5:23pm
I always wear 2 jocks, 1 over the other for riding.My stomach hurts so bad driving into Chicago that it feels like someone kicked me in the nuts.
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crowe660
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crowe660 3/7/2022 6:08pm
3/7/2022 6:08pm
BigBoreFan58 wrote:
If you have any butt-crack issues, a dab of Vaseline pre-race is the way to go. Lube it up good, but don't double dip, especially if...
If you have any butt-crack issues, a dab of Vaseline pre-race is the way to go. Lube it up good, but don't double dip, especially if you're sharing the jar.



I never experienced anything like the hurt in my asshole like my first 3 hour race. I didn’t even know this was a thing until it was too late.

This is an underrated post.
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sumdood
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sumdood 3/7/2022 6:20pm
3/7/2022 6:20pm


Works great and keeps you smelling island fresh like a pina colada
RonSkj
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RonSkj 3/7/2022 6:29pm
3/7/2022 6:29pm

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Sawfish
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Sawfish 3/7/2022 6:47pm
3/7/2022 6:47pm Edited Date/Time 3/7/2022 6:49pm
You got to stand up my dude.

My first and only monkey butt was around age 13 in Baja on my KX 125. I stand up now, lol.
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Motoxdoc
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Motoxdoc 3/7/2022 6:53pm
3/7/2022 6:53pm
Whatever Tomac does seems to be working.
Gravel
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Gravel 3/7/2022 7:18pm
3/7/2022 7:18pm
Funny stuff!

Seriously tho. Good quality cycling shorts.. they cost an obscene amount and they are totally worth it. Pearl Izumi, Castelli, stuff like that. And if you use them to ride a bicycle for a few months you’ll have a gooch that’s strong like leather
ninesevenfour 3/7/2022 8:06pm
3/7/2022 8:06pm
I’ve had good results with A+D Original Diaper Rash Ointment for any post ride chafing.
neysbo
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neysbo 3/7/2022 8:07pm
3/7/2022 8:07pm
BigBoreFan58 wrote:
If you have any butt-crack issues, a dab of Vaseline pre-race is the way to go. Lube it up good, but don't double dip, especially if...
If you have any butt-crack issues, a dab of Vaseline pre-race is the way to go. Lube it up good, but don't double dip, especially if you're sharing the jar.



LOL. yep good ole vaseline works great
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Tank_Slapper
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Tank_Slapper 3/7/2022 8:09pm
3/7/2022 8:09pm
The tight vs lose argument,, i let my brain run loose and in the open, gotta keep it cool.

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