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One bloke jumps off his horse and, of course as most Kiwis would, has his way with the sheep. When he was finished he said to his mate: "Right, your turn!" His mate jumped off his horse and stuck his head in the fence.
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"Darling, this is the pig I have sex with when you have a headache."
His girlfriend is lying in bed and replies:
"I think you'll find that's not a pig but a sheep, you idiot."
The man says: " Shut up, I wasn't talking to you."
The train goes through a tunnel and everything gets dark. Suddenly there's a kissing sound and then a "SLAP!"
The train comes out of the tunnel, and the woman and the Australian are sitting there looking perplexed.
The Kiwi is bent over holding his face which is red from an apparent slap.
He's thinking "That Australian must have tried to kiss this lady, she thought it was me and slapped me."
The lady is thinking, "That Kiwi must have gone to kiss me, kissed the Australian instead and got slapped."
The Australian is thinking to himself "If this train goes through another tunnel, I could make another kissing sound and smack that Kiwi in the head again."
So he takes all his seal pelts into the trading post and cashes em in.....then he heads into the travel agent and says to the bloke 'I need a holiday! ..wanna go somewhere green...sick of all this snow and ice 'n shit!'
So the travel agent books him a holiday in New Zealand.
so the Eskimo gets off the plane in Aukland and hires a car and drives off happily admiring the scenery all the way..
one day he's driving along and the car starts making funny noises and the temp gauge goes in the red, so he jumps pulls up and hops out, goes around and lifts the bonnet of the car and theres oil and steam pissing out everywhere...
He looks around, he's out in the middle of nowhere, nothing but geen rolling hills covered in sheep...
He's standing there looking forlornly at the motor and scratching his head when he hears ths voice behind him...' would you like a bit of a hand mate ? what seems to be the trouble?''
Eskimo looks around and sees this Kiwi farmer climing through the fence and coming up the embankment to the road...
He says ''oh yes pease...I'm an Eskimo and I dont know anything about cars..only dog sleds!''
The Kiwi cocky says ' well I'll have a bit of a look and see what I can find..''
The Kiwi sticks his head under the bonnet for a few moments and comes back up and says....'' I can see your problem!
''Really ?'' says the Eskimo ''what is it ?''
Kiwi cocky says 'youv'e quite clearly fucked a seal..!''
''Oh yeah? what would you know you sheep rooting bastard !' says the little Eskimo...
Delightful.
Kade was always a great bloke, good with fans, the local media and a great rider.
But six years for that list is probably a pretty good outcome. Not that it matters, he is not coming back to racing.
Was this a shock to people in the know or were there rumors prior to the positive test result? Its definitely one step above the Tickles/Moss situation that's for sure.
I was pretty low key though, not the cool or popular media guy lol, just in, got photos, some interviews, race reports and back out flying home to the full-time job!
I was at MB on both occasions riders were tested but never knew ASADA were there, was not until later I was told that there were a few testers based around the Murray Bridge area in SA, then last year I seen all the ASADA people at the event, quite a few of them, but looked like they were just there to watch!
No idea how all the other info listed on the ASADA site was found, it's pretty full-on.
If the list of offences are correct, I'd say he's done with the sport.
Weird set up for sure
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Jake's done by the sounds of it. Don't blame him, there's very little upside in the sport down here at the moment.
But with them being illegal in the sport, he is dealing them out and trafficking them to races in large quantities and possibly supplying them to other riders. In the eyes of the sport it is drug dealing/trafficking but in the eyes of the law probably not so much.... At least probably no more than buying Vape Oil online or shipping CBD oil to Australia because you believe of the instagram athletes...
The public with the option of private if you choose it is amazing and as a SCI sufferer good golly gosh im glad it existed as it does. Its pretty bloody fantastic for us Aussies. But yes the government doesnt just dole out knee surgery, you either pay for private health insurance (most people who work in high risk job do), pay for it out of pocket or get on the waiting list for a public option. Its fantastic.
As far as Mosig goes im not to surprised at all, been plenty of rumours around for ages but more to do with party drugs etc
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