Any parents/mid-career people in here step away from riding?

I’m 46 , two kids 15 and 12 that are both very involved with sports and school activities. I’m having somewhat of a break now because there interests are basically a full time commitment , with me driving them around to team sports. I’m a project manager and time off during the work doesn’t work in the construction industry also.

I’ve fucked up my knees from dirt bikes and as a result  have slowly put on weight over the years. When I ride now I feel sketchy, like im I’m to fast for my ability and it feels unsafe riding at that pace. I also Started making excuses why I couldn’t ride. Purely because I was not confident  and out of shape.

I’ve taken up road cycling to combat my weight gain. I hit the road at 430am before the world wakes up and I get my workout in. It feels good almost like cheating because I’m already firing when people wake up. I feel the best I have in years.

Long story short, I  Fully intend to get back into moto just doesn’t fit in my schedule at the moment. 
I still love it. Do I need a 25 model nah. Feeling of railing corners is still there and nothing compares as far as getting a rush goes
 

I pretty much parked it once the kids got old enough to notice I was gone and had their own hobbies. No regrets, either. Kids need a father that is present and I love that just as much as racing. 

The perspective that I believe we need to have as men is that we’ve had our time to play. It’s time to pass the bucket. The rush of finally hitting that uphill triple that took your sphincter factor to a 10 or winning that shiny plastic trophy and chilling at the beer tent after the races with the boys is awesome. I love all of that.

But watching your daughter finally land a back walk over in cheerleading after months of practicing and crying because she “can’t do it” or watching your son hit his first home run after a year of practicing 5 days a week to get better is a pretty solid rush as well.  

I have two boys 8 and 6. I hung it up. I focus on them. Every decision is usually made thinking “is this selfish or good for the boys”. Not for everyone but it’s how I like to go about it.

Edit - I should clarify I gave up moto. We ride/camp as a family. I do ride on occasion, single track, some off-road races but it is pretty darn sparse. I prefer to do things that include them.

If we were all the same it would be boring.

You just have to find out what works for you most of all by the sounds of it. 

I’m not ready to hang it up. Moto is my mental outlet. I personally think having your own interest is super important. 

My $.02 ?  

Kids & family first, but don't sell the bike and or your gear ! It's part of who you are.  Knowing you can go ride if you wanted to will make not riding because of family responsibility much easier. Don't forget how much it means to you, watch moto with the family, talk about it, try to get them interested in it too. All your stuff is probably paid for ?  If you sell everything you're going to have a way harder time if you change your mind down the road because you're gonna have to spend a substantial amount cheese, plus your daughter can see the bike and know you are into it, start it once in awhile and have your gear all clean and ready to go. Even if you don't ride for a several years again you'll still keep that "Connection" to moto that most people will never know. Just my two cents.

 Unrelated but I had a friend who was trying to quit smoking weed, he said it was easier to not smoke if he knew he could, it makes some sense right ? Since he knew he could if he wanted to he never thought about it, once he was "Out" then it was on his mind. Thats probably a fucked up analogy but my advice or two cents as they say is do whatever you need to do to be a responsible parent, but don't sell the bike. It's part of who you are. 

I'm in a similar position - 37 with a 3 and a half yr old son and 14 month old daughter. I work long hours during the week in a stressful job, so weekends are precious time for all of us.

The guilt of leaving the family for 4+ hours, let alone the wife having to get up when the kids do (early) instead of a much-needed sleep in for her will never go away for me, and of course getting injured is always a risk. However, ask yourself, if you stop riding, what other hobbies do you have that will scratch your own itch, for your own mental/physical well-being, in order to allow you to give your best self to your family? 

For context, I MTB, so I leave home around 5.30 and am usually home around 9.30/10am. 

Reading these posts actually make me feel a bit guilty. I was 40 when I had my first and only child. I actually rode and raced more the past 17 years since then . He was never into riding although I tried my best to get him involved.  I continued riding about 100 hrs per year till my big crash June of last year.  There were times when I was gone from 6am to 8pm on a Saturday race day that I felt guilty as hell. But that didn't stop me. I believe I am a good dad. I try and make up for it. This is a good thread and I feel I needed to put my perspective in the conversation.  

I had it a little easier because I was riding in the desert with the kids and families on a lot of the weekends we weren’t racing. But there were some moments, one time my wife was getting over me being gone every weekend.. I called her and she wasn’t picking up which was unusual. This was before cell phones. It was an answer machine on our home phone and the new message said .”Hi, this is Bill and Sue house, if by you’re looking for Bill, he’s not here. “He’s at the motocross track where he is every weekend” I was like well fuck she does have a pretty good point… “Let’s go to the desert next weekend” doesn’t work in August. There were some missed events that looking back on I should’ve been at. No sense dwelling on it. Live learn move on

Good thread. I sometimes wonder why the bike needs to be sold. If its a financial thing, sure. You seem like you have a good job so.. why sell it?

Personally, I would rather let it sit for two years and not ride by choice than to sell it and burn with "what if?" every saturday. Another perspective that is probably unpopular is that your children will leave and you and your wife alone will be left. Not that they hate you or anything but they'll start their own families. If you want to ride, ride. Ride for you. Don't make it an idol but you're free to enjoy yourself a few hours a month man. I know so many men who are in their 40's and 50's and have an "I wish I" list a mile long and amazing kids. Maybe the best thing for you is to back up, go back to the drawing board, and determine what you think you actually want out of riding and why you do it! Keep us posted. I like threads like these and listening in.

-Guy with no kids, yet (working on it)

To clarify.

I still have my bikes and gear. Just don’t ride them. If the time presents itself to do so, then I will. 

I’m 32 and just had my first child. She’s about 3 weeks old and there’s only 3 things on my mind. 1 wife, 2 baby, and 3 moto lol. My wife is very supportive of my hobby but I’d be lying if I don’t feel a tad guilty leaving to the track 1-2 times a week. That being said home life is fairly stable she’s not working and I’m working from home 80% of the time. If I was a desk jockey it’d be a different story if I was peeling out every weekend to hit the track. Nonetheless, life is all about balance and if everything is taken care of at home the man should go wide open atleast a couple times a month.  

There's a very important balance that needs to be considered.

It's very important that parents continue to pursue their dreams and passions after becoming a parent.  It's an example that kids need to see, in order for them to become their best in life.

If every father, let's say at 25 years old, stopped pursuing their dreams to raise a family, the kids wouldn't have an example of pursuing and bringing dreams and passions to success.  Their kids would most likely do the same, and stop pursuing their own dreams and passions when they became parents.

Kids need to see their parents do their best and pursue what they love.  If they do, they'll do the same.  If not, most of them won't.

Motocross complicates things because it's dangerous.

It's a balance.  Your kids' and your and your wife's passions and dreams are equally important, and so is you and your wife's time.  If you're going riding Saturday, give your wife a break on Sunday morning.  If you're into it, help them get ready for church.  Give your wife a break too.

Going to the track every Saturday was something I couldn't justify, but riding at a lit track on a Wednesday or Thursday evening, I could justify doing often.  I got in my thing, while keeping most weekends open for family things.

I also didn't push my own kids into MX.  If they were in to it, great!.  But if not, I wasn't going to push them into something that is dangerous.  I feel that it's either in your blood, or it isn't.  I'm not going to push it.

When raising my family, I rode, and rode hard, but also kept in mind that I had kids that depended on me.

100ft table top during that time, or a backflip? Nope!  I couldn't take that risk.  I did clear a 100ft jump after they were adults though.

Also, there's nothing in this world I'm aware of that clears my head more than a day at the track.  I get recharged, and ready to conquer the world during the following week!

I'm 35 with a 2.5 year old, I havent ridden moto once this year. Between helping build a small business, life, gym, and wifes hobbies, something had to give and unfortunately it was my riding (my choice).

I still watch it on TV of course, and still have all my stuff. In this season of life it isn't my priority. But it will be back.

I'm 53, married 22 yrs and 2 daughters 24 & 32. I took a 10yr (22 to 32yrs old) & 5yr (41 to 46yrs old) break from riding. Now i ride once or twice a week off-road & track. I use riding to check 2 boxes, exercise & hobby. Life fly's at times and is a juggling act, balance is key & fun imo.  Do what you feel is right. Funny thing my ex professional racing friends don't ride much, mostly my C, B & A bubbies. Riding, community & motorcycle maintenance is kind of like a "Life Style" hang loose man "Enjoy the Ride" 😎

There’s one of these threads every month. You never said what bike you ride . That tells me your really not into riding.  I would guess it’s a 4-st. Your thinking about getting hurt too much . Get a 125 mod it for c12 it will be a blast riding .  40b is a much safer class than 50,55.  Off the start in a 8-9 ft wide left I,m behind a 450 next to a payloader tire . There’s 3 in the middle & outside the 450 infront of me had 3+ ft of space on the rt . He would come out 1st , he slams his brakes on   . I go rt to shoot around him & get a wo clutch drop to knock me down . Then get hit on the ground in 55+. Had to start the bike it was screaming the throttle tube spun up.  The leader in 50+ had the lead 1st lap his bike was seizing he puts his hand up- out of the race.  A rider hit him so hard he blew the caliper & peg off & broke his leg.  50+ has some psycho riders & races that hv 26 in august.  The 12+ age 125 class is much safer much better riders with amazing control .   The rt 1st turn into a short straight b4 the tight left we bumped numerous times but clean & in control. Some of these kids race 85,s too. Since I was 13 my mom wouldn’t allow me to buy a bike with my own money .  She’d yell repeatedly you,ll get paralyzed. Which gets in your head after decades. She hasn’t talked to anyone since 19 but in 18 she’d still yell the same stuff . If I brought up riding .  Fact is divorce is a bigger % than you getting hurt bad.  You,ll get lost with just work & family turn into a zombie like reg society.  Vs getting out of town enjoying the scenery , different people etc. something to look forward too.  

Wow, you guys have a lot of meaningful suggestions😉 I went through the same situation, and I ended up selling my bikes soon after my boys were born because I felt guilty for riding. The good news is that once you find a groove with being a dad and family life, you will be able to once again start riding little by little. My older son wanted to ride when he was about 12 so I built a project bike and we started riding again, but I just cruised and took it easy. At 15 he no longer rides, but I recently bought a new bike and try to go at least once a month, and it definitely makes me happy. If I didn't have a dirtbike sitting in my garage I would feel incomplete. Even if I don't ride, I can still tinker with my bike and be happy. 

A solution I found when my kids were younger was I bought a dual sport bike, an XR650L. It allows you to get some riding time in instead of burning half the day loading/traveling/unloading. Hopefully you’re in an area that has trails/tracks close by.  

It’s a double edged sword. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t. I go ride about 1-2 times a month at the local track for fun. I don’t race or push myself to hard so that I don’t get hurt but it scratches the itch. My family and job are to important at this time for me to be super risky. My thing is you only live one time. We aren’t getting younger. I don’t want to regret my life when I get older slaving away my healthy years. To each their own but it will always be calling you back haha. Just find a safer way to go about it and still enjoy yourself now and then. A few hours a month to take some time for yourself is not selfish. It’s actually much needed. Now if you are neglecting them over your hobby that is way different. Good luck figuring it all out. It’s not easy. 

I raced hard core from 1990-1999, then occasionally from 2000-2002. My son and daughter were born in 99 and 01. I finally sold my MX bikes in 2002 and gave it up completely. Once the kids got to be adults, in Jan 2023 I bought a MX bike again. No intent to race, but i built a track in the back yard so i can ride anytime i want. I still have some friends that moto. We travel to tracks now and then, and they stop by to ride as well. I still love to ride turns out. Its hard being a former B class rider and not being able to ride at that level now. I need to LEARN to just have fun and not get hung up on being much slower. 

This is absolutely on point.  Nice write up, Radical.  

42 with an 11yo daughter and 13yo son. And if you get as lucky as I am, your kids will see this and want to join you! Although my daughters more interested in gymnastics and travel soccer, she will still hop on a pit bikes and ride. And when I push her work ethic in her own passions, she absolutely knows it's not hypocritical. She has seen me come off the track sweaty and beat, with dirt in my teeth. She has seen me work on diet and exercise. And has seen me work through a season to get a single win. We as parents set the bar.  

And with my son, after riding trail bikes since he was six, last fall he asked to go racing. So we built up an 85, and have a handful of MX races and a Hare Scramble under our belts so far this summer. And it was his choice. Never pushed. Feels like all the patience has come to fruition. I'm literally living a dream.   

With a family, there is only so much time and money to go around.  If riding is your priority for your own free-time, than balance it.  Even riding a handful of times a year keeps the skill fresh and you involved in the community.  And one day, you'll have more time...and your family will be there cheering you on.

I've talked about it on here before and even started a thread about it as well, so I get where you are coming from. I'll be 35 next month and have a 12 year old daughter and 9 year old son, both of which are all in on baseball. When my daughter was young, my wife made sure I was able to ride every other week for my sanity and they always came with me. When we had our second we backed it down to about once a month until it was time to buy our first house, then it became once every few months but was at least consistent. As the kids got a bit older, 2020 7yo and 4yo, they both enjoyed riding a lot so I told my wife that my time was done for a while since I had been riding for 27 years at that point anyways so we focused on the kids riding, whether it was the desert for a few hours or to the track. With our finances, busy schedule during the week plus chasing and giving the kids my 100% attention while they rode, I just didn't have the money or energy to ride when they weren't riding. I would ride with my dad about twice, maybe 3 times a year to help scratch the itch. 

Finally, last year my son told me after watching Lux Turner crash at A1 that he didn't want to ride anymore. He gave it a couple more shots, but of course had an incident where a kid crashed in front of him and that kids rear tire came up and hit my son in the helmet as he was trying to go around, that was the end of his riding days. He made the switch to baseball last fall and fell in love with it. My daughter watched him play and found her own love for the sport and decided to play in spring. Baseball has taken over. We all still love moto, my daughter is bugging us to take her riding and my son is now asking for a 110 to ride in the desert between baseball seasons so at least there is now a glimmer of hope there. I still have a bike in the garage and a still like new RMZ to ride at my parents house any time I want, but I find myself struggling to find the desire to do it now. Seems like at least once or twice a week I'm seeing a friend of a friend or someone I raced with years ago with some sort of gnarly, potentially life changing or ending injury. I'll be honest, it's scared me a lot lately. 

The wife many times around my birthday or Father's Day will try to put things together, but I honestly really haven't enjoyed the tracks the last few times I've ridden for multiple reasons. I don't have any confidence, I'm way out of shape and most of the tracks now seem to be made in a way that if you aren't jumping everything or at least close to everything, it's hard to enjoy or find any sort of flow. Throw me on some trails or a whooped out track in the desert and I'd be plenty happy, but then the problem becomes that I feel selfish for taking time away from the family doing what they enjoy and taking time away that they could use to do what they love. I've found some joy in swinging a bat again with the kids when we go to the cages and helping them practice and refine during the off season. I'll be straight up, it doesn't quite hit the way riding does but at least it's something and my hands are getting blistered and callused up similar to how they do when I ride so I guess I'll take that, haha!

My wife and I have talked about it a few times, we both miss going to the track, I miss racing and she misses watching me ride and race but we both come out of it with the same thoughts and feelings, with the amount of serious injuries we've seen close to us and just in general lately, we are ok taking the time away. I still have all of my gear, still have a truck and still have a bike for when that time comes and moto isn't going anywhere. I haven't ridden since November and while it's a bummer on one hand, on the other hand we've watched our son become a great pitcher, short stop and first baseman in less than a year, watched our daughter become a great outfielder, hitter and a ball magnet in 4 months and we've enjoyed a lot of time together at Angel stadium and their baseball field. That makes both easier and 100% worth taking the time away from riding.

I did sort of the opposite, i rode as a kid till i joined the navy,  did not ride for a bunch of years. Bougt the kids a litlle 50 when thet were young, my son now 31 and me 62, ride when we can, my daughter still has fun, but like you school and her travels make it infrequent. Make your choice to deal with the now, always have the option to do stuff later.