Has MX ever been the reason for your divorce?

Don’t know, she’s not talking to me 😂

Let me guess - she loved it when you were young and rode, but now hates that you are older and still want to ride. 

If that is the reason, then good riddance man.

I get riding can be time consuming, and risky if you have kids or major responsibilities, but at the same time you can't spend your life doing nothing, you only get one go round so you have to enjoy it. Compromise with your time but don't compromise yourself.

Tough to find a balance, I'm no Dr. Phil and not trying to tell anyone how to live, but flip side is a lot of us who are 'really' into our hobbies / sports are probably guilty of neglecting the wife without even noticing sometimes, and it's hard to admit as well, been there. Not saying that's the case for you, just saying 👍

I think I'd get divorced if I didn't ride moto. If I'm not riding something or someone I'm not a pleasant person to be around

Just make sure you make her feel like she’s more important to you than the hobby is. 
 

a very good friend of mine needs to shape up on this- they’ve just had their second child, the child is breast-fed and demanding. The other toddler equally demanding. Money isn’t in abundance, he’s got finance on his bike and camper, spends monthly on riding and constantly posts on Facebook about how excited he is to go riding at the weekend all the while leaving the wife at home with two kids struggling on her own.
it seems disrespectful to me no wonder they end up arguing regularly & I’ve told him he needs to shape up. He insists he’s not going to give up his hobby, which is fair enough but he really needs to put a bit more focus on his family development rather than focusing on mx.

That’s tough. I would start by making sure motocross specifically is the problem. Maybe she wants to spend that 20k on a family trip to Rome. Maybe she wants downtime at night without you in the garage. I would just try to get at what she actually wants instead of making it about motocross. It’s brutal you got into the relationship when she was so pro moto, and that’s changed. You have to let her grow and change as a person, but she has to respect that you still love moto and this ain’t some lifestyle you surprised her with.

If it really is leading to divorce, couples therapy for issues like this can be great.

To the OP. The only way your situation will be resolved is by communicating then compromise. Unfortunately both parties need to be willing to do that. If she’s been burned out on the sport I have a hunch her mama bear instincts went into protective mode and doesn’t want the same for her kids. I think if you’re both level headed and take the time to try and understand each other’s position you’ll figure it out. Good luck! 

I have two young kids and my wife and I work opposite schedules to be home with them as much as possible. It’s very tiring and time consuming. We both agreed on having kids and keeping this schedule while the kids are young. I also agreed that riding is a half to full day activity, expensive, and potentially dangerous. I told her I would keep my bike but only ride a few times a year. 
 

Sometimes it’s tough, but our marriage is great, our kids are great, and she supports the days I want to ride with my friends. 
 

I may have compromised more than some of you would like to, but I wanted family to be first even before we started talking about kids. Talk to your wife, listen to what she wants, and take some time to think about what she says and compromise if you think your relationship is worth it. 
 

To substitute my need to ride, I bought a really nice mountain bike. It’s no maintenance, almost as fun, and I can do a good hour loop in less than 2 hours from packing, driving, riding, then coming home. 

My fiance ended up wanting to get a bike after seeing a few makeup to mud segments. I haven't had a bike in almost 10 years, and she got me thinking maybe I would like to get back into it.

In 2019 I got back into riding BMX, just riding some street and trails (dirt jumps). Then one day I noticed an ad for a local BMX track, and since I've missed racing moto, I figured BMX would be a fun less expensive way to feed that competitive side.

She watched me race, then went and bought herself a bike and started racing as well. Ever since, she's been all about BMX and hasn't even mentioned dirtbikes. So we're BMX people now, and I love it. We travel the region to race, but pick where we want to race based on other things we want to do in a certain area.

On the flip side though, she's probably telling a similar story on a craft forum, because the weekends we don't race, we're doing craft shows. Not something I pictured myself enjoying when I was younger, as I grew up in that scene and hated it. But I love helping her run her booth, or helping her get orders finished up and out the door when she gets a lot of orders at once. 

Even though we both race, I'm way more into it than her, and she sits out bigger races, but is there as support. It makes me feel good to know we've got each other's backs, and fully support each other's hobbies.

So if I had any advice, support your woman, do the things she wants to as well, even if it seems boring. I've come to love going to craft shows, I help all the ladies with their ez ups if they need, I run and get food and drinks for people stuck at their booths. I keep busy while there and I find it very fulfilling. 

*We don't have kids, and won't be having any. I understand this might make it easier for us to be more flexible with these things, and that that isn't the case for everyone.

"but any way how has motocross interfered with your relationship... ". This quote should be examined thoroughly.  I'm happily married and have not thrown a leg over a seat in over 4 years. 2 wheeled sports have been a part of my relationship since the day my wife and I met. My kid races and rides so he took over where I left off. Unless you are throwing your mortgage payment at this sport and waiting for your EBT cards to arrive to financially help the problem probably is on the emotional side with your marriage. 

Now I don't know how old your wife is or the years you have been together but if she is getting toward 40yo and the "change" is starting to creep in on her emotions then MX might not be why your marriage is in distress. We guys are pretty easy. Feed us, give us sex, let us have our hobbies and act like kids in a lot of cases and we are loyal as a dog brought home from the pound. Women, as I have painfully learned, are much more complex the older they get. I still feel the same as when we met but my wife most definitely has matured waaaay more than I have in every way lol. 

I guess my question to you is if you back off from mx and sideline your hobby will that be the fix of a troubled marriage, or will it lead to resentment from you and the kids for your wife taking your livelihood away? I always told my wife that a marriage that seemed like a lot of work really is not a healthy marriage to start with. It's a "give & take" union but too much give and not enough take can be toxic. That's my worthless two cents worth on this matter and you will not be charged for this session. 

Empathize with your wife. This might not be what you want to hear, but you need to hear.

MX is the most selfish sport I've ever participated in, due to the time, money, and mental commitment. I was not able to sustain being a husband, father to 3 kids, and put the same amount of time and effort I wanted into MX. So, for now, I ride a little here and there, but mainly I'm focused on the dad life. My kids are almost 11, 9, and 5. MX will be there when they don't think dad is cool anymore.

What is wrong with some of you? You made a covenant with another human being and you’re going to break it over a dirtbike?

get your act together man. You’re a husband. 

If my biking hobby ever begins to take priority over my family the bike will go away. My wife says I'm addicted to Vital haha but she tolerates it. I LOVE riding, and luckily my 6 yr old does as well.  But I love my spouse and son much more than a piece of steel and aluminum in the garage!!

If you get a divorce because of motocross, it’s not motocross that caused the divorce, it was you’re selfishness with your time. It would’ve happened with any hobby if you choose it over time with your wife. 

 The fact that some of you would be willing to leave your wife, and kids, for a motorcycle is quite telling of what kind of men you are. I love riding, and when I could, racing, but I made sure I spent the time needed with my wife, even if it meant not riding. The thought of leaving my wife over a motorcycle just doesn’t compute with me. 

Man, I sure love riding, but I can't ever imagine prioritizing it over any family.

Also, don’t feel the need to disclose any numbers, but how are your finances? Motocross is super expensive, and if she has goals (help kids through college, travel with family, nice dinner dates, etc.) and she sees you spending $10000 or so on a dirtbike every few years, $1000s on parts, $1000s on racing, she may be looking at motocross as a money pit that is ruining the financial stability of the family. 
 

I know right now, me racing and buying a new bike would be shaky for our relationship and goals. In 5 to 10 years when the kids are older, the cost of a bike won’t matter as much. 
 

If you love her and your family that you have, you’ll need some time to reflect on her wishes and your family goals. 
 

I’m hoping for the best for you and your family. 

The problem is most women don’t have hobbies (besides bitching about yours and getting $200 hair cuts). So they can’t relate to yours and will never understand our obsession with motocross. 

Only hope is to find a women who is tolerable and partially accepts your hobbies. Otherwise they will do everything to make you miserable as punishment ..

Your other option to to quit everything to make her happy but die a worthless man..

Kids first!  
 

if you leave her for a day with the kids, reciprocate

get your rides in where they fit in. Riding your dirt bike shouldn’t supersede any family activity and lastly give up the delusion

Moto has kept me from getting into another serious relationship.(I’ve been divorced for 30 years) I spend almost all my free time riding and working on bikes. It would t be fair to get into a relationship, because there’s not enough time in the day to give enough of me to make someone happy. 
This has become a saving grace for me, as I continue to see all my friends with their ups and downs in their life. 
I am good with it… zero arguments about all things moto. 

Lots of people get divorced due to habit addictions. Gambling, heroin, drinking, moto.

not saying it’s right 

Moto will always be there, she won't.

Do you know how many women would not agree with anything you are saying and say " fuck off, you must not love me enough" hahaha!!!

"Sure Honey...I guess i don't love you then, because im going riding for the day with the boys!"

they usually get over it.  if they don't, they are not for you....

I agree 100% here, I just wish i had seen it be that easy lol

I’m so fu…..king good looking, charming, rich as nine foot up a bulls ass and a friend to all kind animals my wife would never leave me over MX.

If I was egotistical, conceded and really high on myself she might leave me.  But what’s the chance of that!!!!…….LOL!!!

most marriages fail due to money issues...

its insane that in this day and age men still want to get married. if more guys knew about the family courts and the odds of your marriage actually succeeding, i think they'd think twice about it. 

My wife knew that riding has is a huge part of my life and always has been coming in to our relationship, but I let it get out of hand to the point where I thought she might leave me. Between riding all the time, bringing different bikes home often, and working on my bikes in the garage, I was not giving her the time she deserved.

It took going on a deployment that was bad enough that I didn’t think I was coming home to wake up and realize I was being a selfish piece of shit and needed to reprioritize. I still ride and mess around in the garage, but it is reduced substantially. She’s much happier, I’m still happy, and now we have a 2 year old girl who is amazing.

Dirtbikes are rad, but the people in our lives, especially the ones we made promises to, are what’s truly important. The rest is just icing on the cake.

I don’t think moto is the problem as marriage is the leading cause of divorce…

The only way mx would be the reason for a divorce is if you got caught fucking the sign in girl

I can’t tell if you’re trolling…

this is the coldest most ruthless sport on earth. As soon as you bang up your knee, as soon as you slip a disk, as soon as you get carpel tunnel, you’re done and nobody cares and you’ll be forgotten by your parts guy, your dealer, the track owners. 
 

a marriage is until death. It’s man and wife until death. If you truly think dirt bikes are going to be there to celebrate your children or to fight cancer with you you are delusional. That machine in your garage will kill you and get sold to someone else in the span of a month. 

My whole childhood we were involved in motor sports. Whether it was my dad racing motocross in the beginning of their marriage, racing stock cars after they had kids, me and my brother racing moto, or me racing stock cars it seemed to be the only thing that we could depend on to all be able to spend a day together as a family. My mom loved being there to cheer us on and talk us up when we weren’t feeling great, she loved how it gave myself, my brother, and my dad a goal to focus on throughout the week to work hard.

Especially with the race cars there was a lot of long nights in the shop, but my mom knew that racing kept our heads on straight and my dad was always able to delegate time for them to spend quality time together too. The racing wasn’t what ended my parents marriage, but believe it or not for years after their divorce my races were the only thing that could bring them to the same place and act cordial and allowed them to become good friends now.