Edited Date/Time
10/22/2022 6:04am
My old buddy NevHermit woke me up to what I’ve become on here. Acting like a little grade school asswipe and going back n forth over most any topic nowadays.
I gotta say I’m just been n a bad place, like I’m sure all of us have experienced at one time or another. Not looking for ANY sympathy whatsoever, I just wanted you all to know I’m currently in a mental “low” but I’m confident with the love of my family n friends I will bounce back.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the words “it wil get better with time”. Well it hasn’t so far. Each day at work (Cam was a master craftsman and worked with me) something reminds me of him and the next thing I know my face is filled with tears. And me trying to explain to a client who may see it and ask if I’m okay. My birthdays n a few days and I know it’s going to be brutal remembering how Cam would go all out for me even when he was at the lows of his drug addiction, it didn’t matter. He would always know what to say to me on my birthday to make me happy. I had his birthday a couple months ago, that was a bad day. Now all the holidays r coming up and I have no idea what those will be like. I know so many of you have had MUCH worse stuff to happen n your lives and I don’t know how you made it.
Anyway I’m done bickering over stupid little crap. I promise….if anyone sees me falling back into that pattern please let me know 👍
I’m here for enjoyment and not to get angry or piss off anyone else. I’m embarrassed for some of the tings I’ve said.
You all take care and please accept my deepest apologies for my childish post/replies
I gotta say I’m just been n a bad place, like I’m sure all of us have experienced at one time or another. Not looking for ANY sympathy whatsoever, I just wanted you all to know I’m currently in a mental “low” but I’m confident with the love of my family n friends I will bounce back.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard the words “it wil get better with time”. Well it hasn’t so far. Each day at work (Cam was a master craftsman and worked with me) something reminds me of him and the next thing I know my face is filled with tears. And me trying to explain to a client who may see it and ask if I’m okay. My birthdays n a few days and I know it’s going to be brutal remembering how Cam would go all out for me even when he was at the lows of his drug addiction, it didn’t matter. He would always know what to say to me on my birthday to make me happy. I had his birthday a couple months ago, that was a bad day. Now all the holidays r coming up and I have no idea what those will be like. I know so many of you have had MUCH worse stuff to happen n your lives and I don’t know how you made it.
Anyway I’m done bickering over stupid little crap. I promise….if anyone sees me falling back into that pattern please let me know 👍
I’m here for enjoyment and not to get angry or piss off anyone else. I’m embarrassed for some of the tings I’ve said.
You all take care and please accept my deepest apologies for my childish post/replies
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Man I swear, you just can't bottle up and ingest what a good day of riding with your friends does for you. I was BACK! Every now and then I think about those dicks who fired me, but it doesn't last long. I just do what makes me happy and save all of my energy for the next job I have. And goddamnit, I swear I'll be the best employee who walked the earth at my next job!
Take care Kenny.
I do ride my street bike, but that was a huge deal for me too. Cam was my riding buddy right up until we lost him. For years I was averaging 100-200 miles a week, then when he was gone it took me months to get back on my bike. My head was not n a place to be out on the roads. One day I was 20 minute into my ride and thinking how nice it felt to have the wind in my hair. The only problem is in Cal you don’t have the wind in your hair, it’s a helmet State. So I’m doing 70 down the road and reach up and pay myself on my head and felt my head, not my helmet. Uh fuck! I turned around n headed home praying I didn’t see a cop. Not sure what that fine would have been but I imagine it would have been a fine and impound. But you are 100% correct. When my mind gets n a good place riding is great therapy. I finally got up the nerve/confidence to do a couple hundred mile ride a few weeks ago and It was so therapeutic.
Thank you so much
Good to have someone you trust that will tell you what you look like and you finally get it by standing back and looking at yourself.
Hope by posting that helps you feel a tad better
Someone will always call you out for it.
Fuck em.
If it gets too bad ML will put you in the penalty box for a few days.
Drop me a pm. We’ll get on my KLRs and ride east out to the Dez & put that smile back where it belongs.
Be well, Be happy.
Manny
Pit Row
And FWIW, I never thought you were acting like an asswipe 👍
everyone's thoughts about (no not political) how you judge people. In racing they say you're only as good as your last race. But in life, should you be judged by your last actions? your worst actions? your best actions? Or the totality of your life's actions? The things you do or the things that you say? Is one thing so bad that a life lived well is wiped out by a single action?
Well I'm pretty sure that there's nothing you've written that's even made it to the long term memory banks.
Pretty sure no apology necessary, we all go through some tough times. Send a DM, maybe you can swing by some evening after work for the "safety meeting session". We're in SM near the university.
TM
You’ve been around this forum a lot longer than most of us. You’ve “ALWAYS” been one of the good guys. Regardless of the differences between many of the members of this forum, at the end of the day, Vital has always been a good support network. I saw that in the beginning when I first joined and, especially after my uncle passed this past July.
We’re here for you.
It’s not easy dealing with the things you’re going through. Don’t be so hard on yourself. You have my number. Don’t be a stranger. 👍
But like the others I've always thought of you as one of the good guys.
Unfortunately I don't have much advice as far as trying to lift your spirits (other than riding) as the last 3 years have been a lot to take by losing my best friend and both parents.
And with my wife battling cancer for 2.5 years I'm at an all time low. If anyone has advice on how to fall asleep.....
Hang in there buddy. 🙏
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