Any good jokes out there?

A farmer I worked for in 5th grade told a lot of jokes. And told me to tell a few, it was fun coming up with them . I created a character called dirty Ernie.  In the 70,s  a 4th grade teacher says . Class today I want each of you to draw me an example of starvation in Ethiopia.  Jennifer the teachers pet raises her hand 1st & says Miss Ann I hv a perfect example.  She draws 7 tear drop shapes . Miss Ann asked what is that Jenifer ?  Jen says that’s 7 pieces of corn , that’s all the family had to eat.  Miss Ann says very good Jenifer.  Dirty Ernie is excited but is not called. Susan goes to the chalk board next . And draws 3 triangles & says that 3 slices of pizza. That’s all the family had to eat for supper. Miss Ann says ok Susan but I would like more effort next time.  Betty Joe draws 3 chicken legs & says that’s all the family had to eat .  Ernie is still holding his hand up but the teacher is Leary of calling him. But she gives in.  Dirty Ernie draws a circle with lines cross crossing threw the circle. Then puts the chalk down.  Miss Ann is stumped of what it is . And ask Dirty Ernie.  Dirty Ernie says that’s a starving persons ass hole.  Haha . Get it cobwebs . you can add more to the joke etc.  

Why are women like dog poop?     The older they are the easier they are to pickup.    Sorry, just a joke.

Ya know why bald men have holes in their pockets? So that they can run their fingers through their hair.

A Chinese lesbian couple...is called....twocanchew

What's a hill billy's favorite thing to do at Halloween? Pump kin

Did you hear about the lesbian carpenters? Everything is tongue in groove.

Do you know the square root of 69? Its 8 something 

Swap guy for quadriplegic in those jokes and they take on a new meaning. 

What do you call a “guy” in water? Bob…

Why is Helen Keller’s leg yellow?  Her dog is blind, too…

How do you punish Helen Keller?  Rearrange the furniture…

What did Helen Keller do when she fell off the cliff?  She screamed her hands off…

Thank you, ladies and germs. Don’t forget to tip…

Why is Hellen Keller a bad driver?   She's a woman

What do you call 2 cops fucking ? 

Fuckin' cops ! 

Universal joke, insert demographic of your choice

Confucius says, man who stand on toilet is high on pot

I was asked what a good pick up line is by some friends. I tell them I have one that worked every time especially with the really hot ones. I'm serious it really works. Kissing ass never works but this gets them curious of your bold confidence every time back in the day. 

You:  "Hello, did you happen to fall from heaven?"

Her: oh than...

You: "Because your face is all fucked up."

There are two flies in the kitchen. 

Which one is the cowboy?

The one on the range!

Confucious say Woman who fly upside down have a hairy crack up. 

Two firemen are having sex in a smoke filled room. The fire chief walks in and screams, "What's going on here!" The one fireman claims," He's suffering from smoke inhalation sir!" The fire chief states, "Give him mouth to mouth then!" The other fireman says,"How the hell do you think this all started!"

Hahahaha Have any videos of this in action ?  I gotta say if she laughs and sticks around after that she's a goodie lol 😍😆

Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand? She moans with the other.

What do you call a guy with no arms or legs in a pile of leaves? Russell