Kids - empty threat follow thru ratio (sorry lappergate - parenting question)

philG
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3/12/2026 5:39am
ARM670 wrote:
Dad of 6, 5 girls 1 boy. Hate to sound like that guy but my kids know if I say it I follow through with it...

Dad of 6, 5 girls 1 boy. Hate to sound like that guy but my kids know if I say it I follow through with it. I was always told sometimes you have to throw the couch through the front window. (Not literally) my youngest is now 22 and they are successful in their careers.  

Are we doing the Over/Under on the boy being the youngest ? 

 

2
Falcon
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3/12/2026 6:46am
sumdood wrote:
Very few places you can have these conversations anymore. My sons oldest is going to be 3 in August, so he's in the terrible twos phase...

Very few places you can have these conversations anymore. My sons oldest is going to be 3 in August, so he's in the terrible twos phase right now. He's starting to have temper tantrums, starting to hit etc., testing mom and dad damn near daily. The other day my son said he had to give him a whack on the butt and put him in his room until he screamed, cried and finally gave up and fell asleep. He (my son) said he felt like shit and was worried his kid would hate him lol. I reassured him by saying do you remember getting spanked as a kid ? "No not really" But you always knew that me and Mom weren't fucking around when we raised our voices correct ? "Yes"  That's because we spanked you when you were 2-1/2 till probably 3-3-1/2. Then one day it clicked that Mom and Dad don't fuck around, then a few years later you didn't even know why you knew, but you knew. Same thing with him. Sure enough the next day I asked how his son was doing after his traumatic afternoon the day before. He said he was acting like he didn't remember it and was extra glad to see him when he got home from work. They went in the back yard and he pounded out some laps on his Stacyc. I know a lot of new parents are anti spanking like it's going to traumatize them or teach them to be violent, I say bullshit sometimes it's all they understand.  This new trend of "Explain to them why what they did is bad and how do you think it made the other person feel" blah blah blah. If I didn't get my ass beat for doing some dumb ass mean shit I considered that getting off scot free. Oohh I got a talking to how scary.....😆 Sorry if I sound old school but fuck that noise, sometimes you gotta whack em. It's just a fact. 

      

I think you're right. I still think the day I first spanked my little girl was the worst day of my life, though. They aren't joking when they say "It hurts me more than it hurts you." 😢

I'm glad my kids adjusted their attitudes pretty quickly and I didn't have to do that very many times.

1
ARM670
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3/12/2026 6:52am
ARM670 wrote:
Dad of 6, 5 girls 1 boy. Hate to sound like that guy but my kids know if I say it I follow through with it...

Dad of 6, 5 girls 1 boy. Hate to sound like that guy but my kids know if I say it I follow through with it. I was always told sometimes you have to throw the couch through the front window. (Not literally) my youngest is now 22 and they are successful in their careers.  

philG wrote:

Are we doing the Over/Under on the boy being the youngest ? 

 

Girl 39, girl 33, boy 25, girl 25, girl 25, girl 22. yes triplets. 

3
3/12/2026 6:54am

Thanks everyone for taking the time to respond ! ! Some interesting firsthand experiences and very much appreciated. THANKS GENTS 

It's funny how i hold my friends, family or professional colleagues to a certain standard but I'm bloody door mat when it comes to my dam kids ! !  What's confusing - my parents had "means" when i was a kid - but gave us nothing, if we wanted something we had to find a way on our own - it truly never bothered me. 

There might be tears - maybe a few of mine lol - CHEERS :-)

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1

The Shop

DPR250R
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3/12/2026 7:03am
Timo wrote:
Find out why they're not delivering, no threats needed. My kids are the worst version of themselves around my wife and me, but their teachers, aunt's...

Find out why they're not delivering, no threats needed. My kids are the worst version of themselves around my wife and me, but their teachers, aunt's, grandparents, and friends parents all tell me how awesome they are. Sometimes you get an idea that your kid isn't trying hard, but they may just be relaxing around you because it's their safe space. Also, if they have ADHD like my kids and I have, long term threats don't work because of the now/ not now way our brains work. I don't like it, but I do take away electronics if they're not doing what they're supposed to do. I can lock devices from my phone immediately so there is a now consequence. Telling either of them they won't be able to go riding with me in 5 days wouldn't work because that's not a now problem. 

Same here with my son. It took me a while to see this. He just turned 12. 

3/12/2026 8:00am Edited Date/Time 3/12/2026 8:01am
Falcon wrote:
I've been careful not to make the punishment something that hurts me too. In other words, I want to go to the races, so that's not...

I've been careful not to make the punishment something that hurts me too. In other words, I want to go to the races, so that's not the thing I take away. The kid's telephone, though? Oh heck yeah, he doesn't need that and it doesn't change my life one bit. 

Not sure I agree with this one. If moto is the kids favorite thing to do then it will drive home the importance of doing what he needs to do to be able to enjoy it. I would much rather have to miss a few riding weekends here and there to teach my kids the value of work before play. If JR gets to ride no matter how bad he messes up or slacks off then what’s the point of not doing so? Just my $0.02

Layton
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3/12/2026 8:00am
Sandusky26 wrote:

I missed race's when I was a kid for not doing good in school and I'm still pissed at my parents for it

Why would you be mad at them? 
You are the one that caused the problem. 

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NotCore
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3/12/2026 9:00am

Its all about balance of power.  If you want it for him more than he wants it himself, you are screwed.  Also, you have to be aligned with your co-parent.  Any micron of daylight between your respective positions will be leveraged.

It ultimately boils down to who has more patience, you or your kid.  Patience = power.  Good kids come from a parent modeling self discipline, not from disciplining your kid.

2
captmoto
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3/12/2026 9:09am
sumdood wrote:
Very few places you can have these conversations anymore. My sons oldest is going to be 3 in August, so he's in the terrible twos phase...

Very few places you can have these conversations anymore. My sons oldest is going to be 3 in August, so he's in the terrible twos phase right now. He's starting to have temper tantrums, starting to hit etc., testing mom and dad damn near daily. The other day my son said he had to give him a whack on the butt and put him in his room until he screamed, cried and finally gave up and fell asleep. He (my son) said he felt like shit and was worried his kid would hate him lol. I reassured him by saying do you remember getting spanked as a kid ? "No not really" But you always knew that me and Mom weren't fucking around when we raised our voices correct ? "Yes"  That's because we spanked you when you were 2-1/2 till probably 3-3-1/2. Then one day it clicked that Mom and Dad don't fuck around, then a few years later you didn't even know why you knew, but you knew. Same thing with him. Sure enough the next day I asked how his son was doing after his traumatic afternoon the day before. He said he was acting like he didn't remember it and was extra glad to see him when he got home from work. They went in the back yard and he pounded out some laps on his Stacyc. I know a lot of new parents are anti spanking like it's going to traumatize them or teach them to be violent, I say bullshit sometimes it's all they understand.  This new trend of "Explain to them why what they did is bad and how do you think it made the other person feel" blah blah blah. If I didn't get my ass beat for doing some dumb ass mean shit I considered that getting off scot free. Oohh I got a talking to how scary.....😆 Sorry if I sound old school but fuck that noise, sometimes you gotta whack em. It's just a fact. 

      

The rare swat on the ass for my 3 were just an attention getter. Actually, I think only 2 ever got it. I had a few tricks that got them to look at me. I think the eye contact got the message through to them the best. I have two brothers and we are 3 years apart. I think the only way my mom could handle us was with the belt and a thrown shoe. She quit throwing the shoe when we started catching it and walking it back to her. 😂 We used to run from her to out rooms and crawl under the bed except my younger brother was too slow and me and my older brother could get against the walls but Dave was accessible.😆😆 We all turned out just fine.

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Sandusky26
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3/12/2026 9:17am
Sandusky26 wrote:

I missed race's when I was a kid for not doing good in school and I'm still pissed at my parents for it

Layton wrote:

Why would you be mad at them? 
You are the one that caused the problem. 

I pissed at you for asking such a stupid question.

1
Falcon
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3/12/2026 2:57pm
Falcon wrote:
I've been careful not to make the punishment something that hurts me too. In other words, I want to go to the races, so that's not...

I've been careful not to make the punishment something that hurts me too. In other words, I want to go to the races, so that's not the thing I take away. The kid's telephone, though? Oh heck yeah, he doesn't need that and it doesn't change my life one bit. 

Not sure I agree with this one. If moto is the kids favorite thing to do then it will drive home the importance of doing what...

Not sure I agree with this one. If moto is the kids favorite thing to do then it will drive home the importance of doing what he needs to do to be able to enjoy it. I would much rather have to miss a few riding weekends here and there to teach my kids the value of work before play. If JR gets to ride no matter how bad he messes up or slacks off then what’s the point of not doing so? Just my $0.02

You're right. Fortunately for me though, my kids have always been pretty good. When they need discipline, it's usually just a small admonition and/or a temporary restriction. That seems to have worked, because I have "A" students who have never been in jail or even the principal's office. 

If there was something truly bad, I'd take the bikes away, but fortunately for me there have been no big discipline problems. 

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philG
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3/12/2026 3:27pm
ARM670 wrote:
Dad of 6, 5 girls 1 boy. Hate to sound like that guy but my kids know if I say it I follow through with it...

Dad of 6, 5 girls 1 boy. Hate to sound like that guy but my kids know if I say it I follow through with it. I was always told sometimes you have to throw the couch through the front window. (Not literally) my youngest is now 22 and they are successful in their careers.  

philG wrote:

Are we doing the Over/Under on the boy being the youngest ? 

 

ARM670 wrote:

Girl 39, girl 33, boy 25, girl 25, girl 25, girl 22. yes triplets. 

That is some brood... glad they are doing OK, often wish we could have had more, but i was too wrapped up in racing and still am for that to have been a thing, blessed with a boy and a girl , 3 years apart, 33 and 30 now,  both doing great , my life is the same as it was at 18, work, and MX , taken me to some great places and still does, lucky enough to have 3 grandbabies too, all girls. 

Triplets must have been crazy, twins run in my family , but we dodged that one, if dodged it the right word. 

2
3/15/2026 10:08am
mattyhamz2 wrote:
Let me put it this way. I was 10 at the time. Riding was what my dad and I did together just about every weekend. I...

Let me put it this way. I was 10 at the time. Riding was what my dad and I did together just about every weekend. I got a progress report with a D in one class for whatever reason. A bunch of my dad’s friends were coming into town and we were all supposed to go riding together. Well, my progress report showed up Thursday and the only thing my dad took from me was my bike and going riding with him and his friends. Didn’t get the bike back until my grade went up to a B. 

That was the one and ONLY time my bike was ever taken away from me and I made sure I never let it happen again.  

Stop making empty threats and actually take it away from him. You’ll learn it either means a lot to your child or you’ll learn it’s not a big deal and you move on to taking away other things they care more about. 

Agree.its hard to be a parent but to be a pushover Will not benefit you either.making decisions related to kids shows you and your character.there will be a time when you will,have to make a choice/decision pertains to your kids that maybe need to,be taken seriously by them and chances are they won’t take you seriously.

We did it with our son when he was in school ,took his bike and locked it up until he got good weekly reports from his teachers with an outcome of his letter grade improvement.that happened once.any regrets ….no

Any resentment from him…..no

Kids will understand as they get older and repeat you for it.

2
ARM670
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3/15/2026 10:13am

Kids and puppies are the same, the more work you put into them when they are young the easier they are when they are older. If you let you puppy get away with dumb stuff because its cute it will be worse when they are full grown. Same with kids. 

mxpappy711
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3/15/2026 10:18am

Well known story in my family. 46 year old son thanks me once a year since he was 15. 
Bad grades, gave him a warning, he spent the summer watching his little brother and me race. For Cs on report card. C was average, average kids don’t get a free bike and entry into every race we could afford. 
My friends gave me shit every week but he understood the first Sunday I had to do it! 
Still riding with him, his son, and his brother too

3
JustMX
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3/15/2026 12:38pm
ARM670 wrote:
Dad of 6, 5 girls 1 boy. Hate to sound like that guy but my kids know if I say it I follow through with it...

Dad of 6, 5 girls 1 boy. Hate to sound like that guy but my kids know if I say it I follow through with it. I was always told sometimes you have to throw the couch through the front window. (Not literally) my youngest is now 22 and they are successful in their careers.  

philG wrote:

Are we doing the Over/Under on the boy being the youngest ? 

 

ARM670 wrote:

Girl 39, girl 33, boy 25, girl 25, girl 25, girl 22. yes triplets. 

Dang, It took you 4 years after the triplets to figure out how babies are made?

ARM670
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3/15/2026 3:39pm
philG wrote:

Are we doing the Over/Under on the boy being the youngest ? 

 

ARM670 wrote:

Girl 39, girl 33, boy 25, girl 25, girl 25, girl 22. yes triplets. 

JustMX wrote:

Dang, It took you 4 years after the triplets to figure out how babies are made?

Thats funny, actually my wife wanted to be done after the triplets but I talked her into 1 more, I tried to convince her for another but she was a solid no.

Meister
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3/15/2026 4:22pm

Practice pulling outa the garage man! Lol

ARM670
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3/15/2026 4:24pm
Meister wrote:

Practice pulling outa the garage man! Lol

Needed a better goalie!  Actually my wife and kids are my world, having a big family was alot of fun and watching them spread their wings and become their best self is the best reward I can ask for

5
3/15/2026 5:17pm

 I came home with a lousy report card 1st quarter in 7th grade? Dad went to the school and setup weekly progress reports. Told me if I don't show progress and improve I wouldn't go racing with him and my younger brother.  We usually raced thre  times a week back then. Thats all it took, I never missed a race. Many years later I thanked him for standing  by his word.  

 

3
crusher773
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3/15/2026 6:41pm

I got sick of the half effort on race days vs practice days for about 3 years my kid was on a pay your own race fees program.  Go out there and ride hard and try your best and I'll give it back to you at the end of the day.  Go out there and just cruise around well you are spending your money, not mine.  I have also done the oh I'm going to race but you can watch because you didn't take care of your business.

1
wicksy85
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Mackay, QLD, AU
3/15/2026 11:28pm

I use motocross as punishment if my boys are being pricks, if they fuck up they lose their chance to ride or race next time we go out, ive taken my kid to racing for him to watch and he has learnt the hard way, younger two are learning now after being punished.

 

If only thier mother would follow through it would make shit better.

2

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