Wife with a knife 🔪

Does she happen to be latino?  I've dated a few of them and there were a couple who just thrived on daily feuds as it seemed to be the norm for them.  The heated arguments would get me so fired up for several hours, and they were able to just let it go as if nothing happened.  It was crazy, brawling one minute, and then like a flick of the switch they were back to normal as if there were no argument.  I couldn't deal with it and broke them off, but both of them happened to be very hot latinos.  

I imagine we’ve all had crazy thoughts about our spouses in the heat of the moment but continually verbalizing it like that takes it to a different level IMO.  Wouldn’t hurt to consult with a professional…. Prayers for both of you.  Hope you get it sorted out.

What is she so mad about? I know it’s cliche but she (and probably all of us) could use some counseling. But she may not have anyone to watch the kids.

Not sure where my comment went, but...

Talk to her about it.
If she's resistant then suggest a professional.
If she's resistant to a professional than I'd start talking to a lawyer / police.

It's one thing to think it but to actually say it, fuck that. Best of luck to your whole family and be safe; not knowing your situation I know it's a stretch to assume anything drastic would happen but partners are responsible for a large percentage of murders in this country (RIP Phil Hartman).

Saying it once I would brush it off, but several times, I don't know. 

You might not necessarily fear for your life, but shit happens fast when things go South. 

You also have kids to think about, and they come first. Always. 

Sit her down and let her know how you feel. Tell her she's said it multiple times over the years and that it's not okay. It's okay to have disagreements and arguments, but death threats is crossing the line. You don't say those things and much less infront of children. 

Maybe go for couples counseling? 

Good luck. 

Maybe talk with her siblings or parents and see if there a history to these episodes.  Perhaps growing up this is how her family dealt with frustration, and to her it's not a big deal.  The temperament switch is not uncommon, but it's also not totally normal.  For the sake of your kids, and your marriage get some history, then get some professional help.     

Hell may freeze over…

I agree with AKW. 

I'm sorry man, I've had relationships like that but luckily none of them involved kids.  One of my ex's used to throw glass across the room and shatter it all over my great room floor.  Then she would storm out and and come back later as if nothing happened.  If this is a pattern with your lady it's not good, especially with the kids as they can feel the energy.

I've had many relationships and been in love with several women (I waited until I was 50 to settle down), which I'm grateful for having the experience as I learned something from all those relationships.  But I can tell you, the lady I have now is "easy" to be with.  We NEVER fight, there's no dramatic call for attention, and she's nothing like any of the previous drama queens or attention whores that I've been with.   I'm so glad I never married or had kids with one of my ex's who I often fought with as it would have turned into a disaster.

I'm not sure how old you are, but there's always time to find someone else and it seems the next one is always better.  Good luck as you have some serious issues to deal with.  I hope you can either get things resolved or move on and be happy with someone else because living a life in a toxic relationship is no fun. 

I can't believe I'm actually agreeing with wombat, but he is 100% correct in every aspect.

Additionally, saying she could stab you while in the presence of your children is extremely detrimental. The psychological impact that will have on them is immeasurable.

True story: I know someone who stabbed her husband in the heart and killed him.  She was just sentenced to probation and community service (for second degree). Now she is trying to appeal saying she was emotionally abused when it happened (15 years ago) to get it off her record.  She's likely to get what she wants.

Another true story: I have a friend who has a live in GF and she constantly threatens to stab him.  Well, she finally tried it and he called the police.  He was the one who was cuffed and couldn't get back into his house for a week.

Protect your kids and yourself. Document what she says.  Go see a counselor or go to your local police and ask them what you should do and share the documentation with what she says. Figure out what you're doing to piss her off and stop doing it.  It's not fair, but it is what it is.

Best of luck and please don't let it build up inside of you!

******

Not to derail this thread (I can already feel Joey feverishly typing another one of his classic, "wombat ruins every thread" replies)...

But all you, "I can't believe I agree with AWK", folks. If you guys would actually engage with me instead of diving straight into the, "If smug dumb shit wombat was my kid I would have killed him at birth" bullshit, I can guarantee we'd agree on a shiiiiiit ton of stuff and have some great exchanges like I've had with a bunch of people in non-moto (even that fruit-bat Chance who haaaaated me).

I know my, "what do you, how do you, if you had to", questions seem dumb but that's me legitimately reaching out to find a common ground on anything so we can attempt to see each other as actually people instead of profile pictures to hurl insults at. Answer those! Let's take politics out of it from time to time and talk about breakfast and travel and shit.

OK Joey, have at it.

*****

I'd have a calm conversation the next day after she said something like that. Tell her she cannot talk to you that way but if she did want to have a conversation right now about your differences you would listen because you love her and want her to be happy.

Then the next time she says she wants to stab you, calmly walk away. The fight/conversation is over because there is no way at that moment to come to a consensus and its best not to escalate.

And if that doesn't work, when she is sleeping at night, climb on top of her and put you hands around her neck. When she wakes up and asks you what you are doing, tell her you are role playing out a fantasy you have had for awhile now. 

Sorry.🤐

Damn man...nothing to add...and agree with what Cooperncus said...

Shit like this makes me especially thankful for my wife. 

I'd have her arrested for menacing. Wouldnt let her back home without her seeing a shrink.

She gave you a warning...

Exactly!! And she gave him a warning more than once!

Remember how many times OJ threatened to kill Nichole? And we all know how that turned out!! 

😆

Uh, I mean, hey! that's not funny!

Holding in how you feel normalizes her actions. Speak up and, have that conversation when the kids aren’t around. She’ll either understand or, she won’t. If she isn’t willing to accept there’s work to be done, love it or, leave it. 

OP, I think you should start documenting this stuff. Even this thread is a good thing. Also consider a therapist and getting all your experiences documented there. I'd call the cops if she ever made threats with a knife in hand and get that on record, record audio on your phone. Also, there was a story about a guy that was being abused by his wife, she'd hit him with a bat and whatnot. Eventually he grew tired of it and hid a gun in his chair and killed her when she started hitting him. He went to jail. If you've been cut, you're already past the point of needing to defend yourself, but otherwise I'd say, never ever ever put yourself in a position where you'd need to defend yourself. The kids are currently being conditioned to be in toxic violent relationships and that's....not good. Something needs to change, fast. 

Just joking here to make light of a tough situation, but if you have a "wife with a knife" then you need to be the "guy with a Glock".... 

But seriously, as others have said, seek a marriage counselor who can help mediate and get her to understand it is not ok to make threats- and try and help her understand why she says such things.

...and OJ is still searching for her killer in hell.

I had a girlfriend a couple years ago that would sometimes act out like that. She was smoking hot and quite "recreationally gifted," so I put up with it for a little while. I talked to her recently (long after we split up), and it turns out that she had undiagnosed Bipolar Disorder.

This coming from a guy married 41 years to the same woman of German/Irish descent---  Pretty fiery chickadee. Fired a tire pick at me once while we were dating and also punched me in the nose a few months later.  I will agree that I most definitely deserved both !! 

Dated for 4 years and now been married for 41 so a total of 45 years with that deal !!! However it has never escalated beyond those 2 incidents that happened back in 80/81 .  Being that I'm a quick learner, I have been able to avoid pushing the buttons THAT far 🙄.

But to the question I have though is that you stated "Happened a few times over the years"  ---does that mean 3 or 4 times in 15 years ? Or has it been more like  8 times in 3 years ??   Certainly would make a difference in my perception as would the actual circumstances that caused her to go off .  

Going through menopause?  My wife would turn into a monster with no warning.

Turn on some of those murder mystery shows like Dateline and you'll see these types of murders happen every day, with just as many female killers as there are male killers.  If she doesn't have means or strength to do it herself, she could hire a hit man to take you out.  It happens all the time.  Yes, for someone to say they want to stab you is very very serious, even from your wife who you love.  

Once you confront her to talk about it you'll know exactly where it's headed depending on whether or not she's receptive to counseling.

This type of thing is no fun for anyone to deal with as it's more time and money to invest in something that shouldn't be necssary.

This is hilarious, your wives got ya'll scared lol. These responses literally sound like a AA meeting.

OP grow a pair and have a civil conversation about her comments or tuck your tail and keep quiet.

Could it possibly sarcasm?  Like just expressing that she’s really pissed or disappointed/upset with you?  A shitty crack  at comedy….

You would know her better than anyone…but seems not uncommon for people to choose extreme words for things that aren’t necessarily extreme….like “we almost died” when we no way were in that kind of danger..