Tyler Evans shooting video

ddog558
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ddog558 11/1/2018 11:31am
11/1/2018 11:31am
Wow...speak the truth about some of these snowflake pussies, and it gets deleted.....go figure.
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GuyB
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GuyB 11/1/2018 11:47am
11/1/2018 11:47am Edited Date/Time 11/1/2018 11:49am
ddog558 wrote:
Wow...speak the truth about some of these snowflake pussies, and it gets deleted.....go figure.
That was a warning shot.

Users firing insults back and forth at each other usually get edited/deleted. We prefer social media, not anti-social. There are enough other places you can go if all you want to do is hurl insults.
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ddog558
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ddog558 11/1/2018 12:00pm
11/1/2018 12:00pm
ddog558 wrote:
Wow...speak the truth about some of these snowflake pussies, and it gets deleted.....go figure.
GuyB wrote:
That was a warning shot. Users firing insults back and forth at each other usually get edited/deleted. We prefer social media, not anti-social. There are enough...
That was a warning shot.

Users firing insults back and forth at each other usually get edited/deleted. We prefer social media, not anti-social. There are enough other places you can go if all you want to do is hurl insults.
I understand that Gibby, and you're the boss, so I respect your decision.

That being said, the state of our world is going to crap. The OP posted about the shooting (again, no link or anything) so people could understand what really happened, and stop all the speculating...so kudos to the OP for doing that.

What I cant tolerate in the blatant "This is so wrong and in bad taste, you HAVE to take it down immediately" call from some of the .....how shall I say it....lesser sacked-up individuals.

If people want to watch it, then look it up. If you dont want to watch it..move on to the next topic, shut the f up, and stop ramming your "opinion" down our throats.

Again, I respect the hard work you put into this place...and I understand that it in no mean an east job..and usually a thankless task.....but sometimes you have to call a spade a spade. If I have to be punished for that, then so be it. The world is becoming such a shithole with mass shootings, police shootings, Hondurans seeking "asylum" (bullshit)...Im glad the OP posted this to show the truth about what happened for once...something we rarely see in this day and age.

Again, my apologies for stirring something up...that was never my intention. It just gets tiring..ya know?

D
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Motox627!
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Motox627! 11/1/2018 12:00pm
11/1/2018 12:00pm
In theory, what would a snowflake's pussy look like?

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Regis
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Regis 11/1/2018 12:02pm
11/1/2018 12:02pm Edited Date/Time 11/1/2018 12:20pm
peelout wrote:
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what...
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what a selfish fucking thing to do. very sad that Tyler chose this path, i have no sympathy for him. however, i do have sympathy for those close to him and i sincerely hope his family and friends can find some peace in the end.
I used to think the same thing. I lost my dad to suicide at the age of 2. I actually grew up hating him because what it did to my mom and me. How could you leave like that?

After I quite racing professionally, I went into gnarly panic attacks and anxiety for a few years. I was COMPLETELY fine, then one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was never suicidal, but I was baffled at how strong the mind can be. Especially when you aren’t “in control”. It got rough. Real rough and changed me for a while. I had no idea how to handle it. I didn’t even know what “it” was. The doctors said it was depression, threw medication at me. What a rollercoaster that was... I had myself convinced I let everyone who ever helped me down. My friends that shared the same dreams? I let them down too. Even though they all loved me. It was in between my two ears that really created this sense of failure. Nobody else was. I didn’t want to go out and be “weird” and have a panic attack. Thankfully, I did have friends and family and good people that helped me. I will never stop fearing of feeling like that again. I have to steer my mind right all the time.

as I got into adulthood and real life, I heard or was close to a few more that committed suicide. I then started to realize it’s not selfish. You have to be in a dark and dreary place, a place where you think people are better off without you.

I believe, unless you have got to a point where you don’t feel in control it’s not right to judge those that lost control. It’s a weird thing

It’s sad all the way around. I hope Tyler found peace and your friend too Peely. I’m sorry for your loss. I know it hurts
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ktmdan
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ktmdan 11/1/2018 12:13pm
11/1/2018 12:13pm Edited Date/Time 11/1/2018 12:15pm
Some of you think that ppl in depression are as rational as we are when we're not depressed. Unfortunately that is not the case. Most people who do it don't wake up, make some breakfast and say, I'm going to do something selfish today and hurt everyone around me. Just be glad you've never experienced it.

Edit: I just read the post above, and yeah that sums up what I was trying to convey.
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aeffertz
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aeffertz 11/1/2018 12:32pm
11/1/2018 12:32pm Edited Date/Time 11/1/2018 12:34pm
Regis wrote:
I used to think the same thing. I lost my dad to suicide at the age of 2. I actually grew up hating him because what...
I used to think the same thing. I lost my dad to suicide at the age of 2. I actually grew up hating him because what it did to my mom and me. How could you leave like that?

After I quite racing professionally, I went into gnarly panic attacks and anxiety for a few years. I was COMPLETELY fine, then one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was never suicidal, but I was baffled at how strong the mind can be. Especially when you aren’t “in control”. It got rough. Real rough and changed me for a while. I had no idea how to handle it. I didn’t even know what “it” was. The doctors said it was depression, threw medication at me. What a rollercoaster that was... I had myself convinced I let everyone who ever helped me down. My friends that shared the same dreams? I let them down too. Even though they all loved me. It was in between my two ears that really created this sense of failure. Nobody else was. I didn’t want to go out and be “weird” and have a panic attack. Thankfully, I did have friends and family and good people that helped me. I will never stop fearing of feeling like that again. I have to steer my mind right all the time.

as I got into adulthood and real life, I heard or was close to a few more that committed suicide. I then started to realize it’s not selfish. You have to be in a dark and dreary place, a place where you think people are better off without you.

I believe, unless you have got to a point where you don’t feel in control it’s not right to judge those that lost control. It’s a weird thing

It’s sad all the way around. I hope Tyler found peace and your friend too Peely. I’m sorry for your loss. I know it hurts
Isn’t that the definition of being selfish, though? You don’t want to feel bad anymore so you do whatever it takes to not feel bad anymore at the cost of everyone around you.

Very sad, indeed.
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Bramlett321
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Bramlett321 11/1/2018 12:38pm
11/1/2018 12:38pm
peelout wrote:
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what...
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what a selfish fucking thing to do. very sad that Tyler chose this path, i have no sympathy for him. however, i do have sympathy for those close to him and i sincerely hope his family and friends can find some peace in the end.
That's harsh brother....I used to say that very same thing until addiction hit me right in the temple.
JM485
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JM485 11/1/2018 12:40pm
11/1/2018 12:40pm
peelout wrote:
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what...
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what a selfish fucking thing to do. very sad that Tyler chose this path, i have no sympathy for him. however, i do have sympathy for those close to him and i sincerely hope his family and friends can find some peace in the end.
My comment before got deleted (total bullshit btw), but basically my point was I can’t imagine being a friend or family member of his and having to see a video of him offing himself posted all over the internet. I don’t know what the hell people’s infatuation is with watching someone kill themselves but it’s sick, why the hell does anyone want to watch that? Is this really what people want to see? If I was closed to him I’d be livid that this was even out there, people are disgusting.
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Regis
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Regis 11/1/2018 12:45pm
11/1/2018 12:45pm
Regis wrote:
I used to think the same thing. I lost my dad to suicide at the age of 2. I actually grew up hating him because what...
I used to think the same thing. I lost my dad to suicide at the age of 2. I actually grew up hating him because what it did to my mom and me. How could you leave like that?

After I quite racing professionally, I went into gnarly panic attacks and anxiety for a few years. I was COMPLETELY fine, then one day it hit me like a ton of bricks. I was never suicidal, but I was baffled at how strong the mind can be. Especially when you aren’t “in control”. It got rough. Real rough and changed me for a while. I had no idea how to handle it. I didn’t even know what “it” was. The doctors said it was depression, threw medication at me. What a rollercoaster that was... I had myself convinced I let everyone who ever helped me down. My friends that shared the same dreams? I let them down too. Even though they all loved me. It was in between my two ears that really created this sense of failure. Nobody else was. I didn’t want to go out and be “weird” and have a panic attack. Thankfully, I did have friends and family and good people that helped me. I will never stop fearing of feeling like that again. I have to steer my mind right all the time.

as I got into adulthood and real life, I heard or was close to a few more that committed suicide. I then started to realize it’s not selfish. You have to be in a dark and dreary place, a place where you think people are better off without you.

I believe, unless you have got to a point where you don’t feel in control it’s not right to judge those that lost control. It’s a weird thing

It’s sad all the way around. I hope Tyler found peace and your friend too Peely. I’m sorry for your loss. I know it hurts
aeffertz wrote:
Isn’t that the definition of being selfish, though? You don’t want to feel bad anymore so you do whatever it takes to not feel bad anymore...
Isn’t that the definition of being selfish, though? You don’t want to feel bad anymore so you do whatever it takes to not feel bad anymore at the cost of everyone around you.

Very sad, indeed.
No it’s not.

They aren’t thinking they are going to feel better, they are thinking others will.

It’s an act of the exact opposite of selfishness. It may not be the reality, but it’s what they have built up in their mind.

It’s a messed up way of thinking and not rationale at all, but it becomes reality to people who get to that point.
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aeffertz
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aeffertz 11/1/2018 12:53pm
11/1/2018 12:53pm
Regis wrote:
No it’s not. They aren’t thinking they are going to feel better, they are thinking others will. It’s an act of the exact opposite of selfishness...
No it’s not.

They aren’t thinking they are going to feel better, they are thinking others will.

It’s an act of the exact opposite of selfishness. It may not be the reality, but it’s what they have built up in their mind.

It’s a messed up way of thinking and not rationale at all, but it becomes reality to people who get to that point.
So in their mind they think they are doing the right thing but in reality, where all their family, friends and loved ones still exist, it still is a selfish act. They’re dead and everyone else has mourn and suffer with the loss of them.

I hope I don’t sound insensitive because I’m not tying to be. I’ve lost my bi-polar grandfather to suicide, a high school friend to suicide, one of my best friends little brother just killed himself at the age of 13. My head isn’t perfect and I’ve been in dark places before and would rather not to go into the specifics at the moment. To say it’s not selfish just seems backwards to me.
Regis
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Regis 11/1/2018 12:54pm
11/1/2018 12:54pm
peelout wrote:
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what...
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what a selfish fucking thing to do. very sad that Tyler chose this path, i have no sympathy for him. however, i do have sympathy for those close to him and i sincerely hope his family and friends can find some peace in the end.
JM485 wrote:
My comment before got deleted (total bullshit btw), but basically my point was I can’t imagine being a friend or family member of his and having...
My comment before got deleted (total bullshit btw), but basically my point was I can’t imagine being a friend or family member of his and having to see a video of him offing himself posted all over the internet. I don’t know what the hell people’s infatuation is with watching someone kill themselves but it’s sick, why the hell does anyone want to watch that? Is this really what people want to see? If I was closed to him I’d be livid that this was even out there, people are disgusting.
I watched it.

They don’t show “it”. It explains what happened with a litttle bit of body-cam footage.

Probably shown as a product of our society always questioning what happened and why. Even people in this thread are still commenting wrong facts and the answers are there.

I am so sorry Tyler got to that point. I feel sorry for his loved ones, the police involved and anyone who’s life was touched by One Punch.
yamaharider471 11/1/2018 12:55pm
11/1/2018 12:55pm
peelout wrote:
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what...
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what a selfish fucking thing to do. very sad that Tyler chose this path, i have no sympathy for him. however, i do have sympathy for those close to him and i sincerely hope his family and friends can find some peace in the end.
JM485 wrote:
My comment before got deleted (total bullshit btw), but basically my point was I can’t imagine being a friend or family member of his and having...
My comment before got deleted (total bullshit btw), but basically my point was I can’t imagine being a friend or family member of his and having to see a video of him offing himself posted all over the internet. I don’t know what the hell people’s infatuation is with watching someone kill themselves but it’s sick, why the hell does anyone want to watch that? Is this really what people want to see? If I was closed to him I’d be livid that this was even out there, people are disgusting.
I don't think anyone here is infatuated with watching people kill themselves, I think that most people are curious and maybe wanted some clarity on the whole situation. What you see is someone who is clearly battling some inner demons and I believe Tyler thought that killing himself was the only way out.
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Regis
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Regis 11/1/2018 1:03pm
11/1/2018 1:03pm Edited Date/Time 11/1/2018 1:36pm
Regis wrote:
No it’s not. They aren’t thinking they are going to feel better, they are thinking others will. It’s an act of the exact opposite of selfishness...
No it’s not.

They aren’t thinking they are going to feel better, they are thinking others will.

It’s an act of the exact opposite of selfishness. It may not be the reality, but it’s what they have built up in their mind.

It’s a messed up way of thinking and not rationale at all, but it becomes reality to people who get to that point.
aeffertz wrote:
So in their mind they think they are doing the right thing but in reality, where all their family, friends and loved ones still exist, it...
So in their mind they think they are doing the right thing but in reality, where all their family, friends and loved ones still exist, it still is a selfish act. They’re dead and everyone else has mourn and suffer with the loss of them.

I hope I don’t sound insensitive because I’m not tying to be. I’ve lost my bi-polar grandfather to suicide, a high school friend to suicide, one of my best friends little brother just killed himself at the age of 13. My head isn’t perfect and I’ve been in dark places before and would rather not to go into the specifics at the moment. To say it’s not selfish just seems backwards to me.
I am willing to bet you have never experienced some sort of mental illness. I say that with the utmost respect and hope that you never have or will.

A rational person will easily see it as an act of selfishness. And act that leaves everyone to mourn and be left wondering why.

It’s my belief that most (not all) that commit suicide have a way of thinking that doesn’t make any sense at all, they have themselves convinced that what they are doing is going to help those around them by ridding them of a problem. They see it as a sacrifice to better the lives of others. Hence, it’s not selfish. It is their reality. It may not be the real reality, but that is what mental illness does. Makes you live in a false reality.

Since I have toe’d the line with this “false reality” with my own demons in the past, I have new sympathy because when you are in that frame of mind, it’s scary and real. Words people tell you don’t feel real.

So, not trying to change your mind, or peelies, I’m just saying I have forgave and have a lot of sympathy for people close to me and far that feel their only way out is suicide and I used to think it was the ultimate act of selfishness

So, especially with my dad was when the realization came that my dad wasn’t trying to be selfish and giving up to make things worse for everyone, he thought he had to do what he did to make the lives of others better. For that, my hatred went away and the mourning and love set in. I wish things could have been better for him and he didn’t get to the place he was at. I don’t believe he was selfish at all, I believe he was mentally sick and nobody knew it. nobody knew what he was going through.

And again, I’m not bragging or proud to say this, but I don’t believe those that have never had mental illness understand it and even doctors and psychiatrist only have an idea of what it actually feels like.

Anyways... enough psychology thoughts today. Back to Moto.
2
Andy_Greenney 11/1/2018 1:30pm
11/1/2018 1:30pm
aeffertz wrote:
Isn’t that the definition of being selfish, though? You don’t want to feel bad anymore so you do whatever it takes to not feel bad anymore...
Isn’t that the definition of being selfish, though? You don’t want to feel bad anymore so you do whatever it takes to not feel bad anymore at the cost of everyone around you.

Very sad, indeed.
Perspective. If you are in a mental state that you believe those around you will be better without you then it becomes a selfless act

RIP
2
aeffertz
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aeffertz 11/1/2018 1:44pm
11/1/2018 1:44pm
Andy_Greenney wrote:
Perspective. If you are in a mental state that you believe those around you will be better without you then it becomes a selfless act

RIP
This is my last comment on it. In his false reality, it is selfless. Unless it was also true in the real world, then it is not selfless. I can understand why someone would feel that way or what would drive them to do it.

Just because I do something I believe is right, that does not inherantly make it right.
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Flatliner 11/1/2018 1:48pm
11/1/2018 1:48pm
That was , in my opinion a classic attempt at suicide by cop. Very very unfortunate.
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Igy
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Igy 11/1/2018 2:55pm
11/1/2018 2:55pm


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FWYT
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FWYT 11/1/2018 3:00pm
11/1/2018 3:00pm
Truly sad . . . .
I only met him once and despite some of his on-track antics, he struck me as the type
of person that would stop and help a senior citizen change a flat tire in the rain.
Seemed like he had a big heart. I hope he is at peace. RIP, Tyler.
pbody
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pbody 11/1/2018 3:13pm
11/1/2018 3:13pm
peelout wrote:
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what...
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what a selfish fucking thing to do. very sad that Tyler chose this path, i have no sympathy for him. however, i do have sympathy for those close to him and i sincerely hope his family and friends can find some peace in the end.
Agree! Couldn't imagine being a son/daughter having to explain why their father is not in the picture as they grow up and through adulthood.... having to think about it everytime they have to explain.
MrKnowNothing 11/1/2018 3:37pm
11/1/2018 3:37pm
Dumgeon. This is classless
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peelout
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peelout 11/1/2018 3:45pm
11/1/2018 3:45pm
peelout wrote:
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what...
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what a selfish fucking thing to do. very sad that Tyler chose this path, i have no sympathy for him. however, i do have sympathy for those close to him and i sincerely hope his family and friends can find some peace in the end.
CozMan wrote:
ya know, I used to feel the same way about it being "selfish". I had a buddy whose father (buddy was 40s, dad was 70s) shot...
ya know, I used to feel the same way about it being "selfish".

I had a buddy whose father (buddy was 40s, dad was 70s) shot himself in the mouth with a shotgun on the front porch and my buddy (his son) found him.

I said "What a selfish awful thing to do. I'm so sorry, friend."

He then spent the next 20 mins explaining that his father had fought booze his entire life, had done rehab like 20 times, and could never stay away from it. He actually was THANKFUL that his dad had the guts to do what he did as it released his family from their never-ending burden of cleaning up his messes, which apparently were secret yet awful. Jail, money, violence, etc.

When you step back from it, it's an awful thing to do to your son (to have him find your body) and he should have done that a different way, but in this case, they actually breathed a sigh of relief as dear ol' dad was finally free from his demons.

I don't know. Just a different perspective.
i see where you're coming from, and i respect your opinion as well as Regis, Bramlet, and anyone else who disagrees with my viewpoint. and in your friend's dad situation i can see where he may have been coming from, years later and in hindsight. however, when someone domes themselves with their wife and two young daughters in the next room, i hardly think it's a case of not wanting their loved ones to suffer anymore. i've grieved my loss for a long time, but i'll never be as affected as his poor family having to walk in to see what the loud noise was.

i know depression is very real, very dark, and very hard to overcome. these are things i know. no disrespect meant to anyone in this thread as i know a lot of people have been close to the edge and i urge anyone that is in that state of mind to seek help.
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dirtmike86
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dirtmike86 11/1/2018 4:24pm
11/1/2018 4:24pm Edited Date/Time 11/1/2018 4:25pm
It's not about Tyler anymore. It's about all the people watching this thread and not commenting because they are in a similar state of mind as he was and need help. What's done is done. Tyler's gone, but if his death could open a door to help someone else then there could be some positive to all this bickering. If anyone is watching this thread and needs help then speak up. Believe me, talking about it helps.

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oldblood
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oldblood 11/1/2018 6:27pm
11/1/2018 6:27pm
dirtmike86 wrote:
It's not about Tyler anymore. It's about all the people watching this thread and not commenting because they are in a similar state of mind as...
It's not about Tyler anymore. It's about all the people watching this thread and not commenting because they are in a similar state of mind as he was and need help. What's done is done. Tyler's gone, but if his death could open a door to help someone else then there could be some positive to all this bickering. If anyone is watching this thread and needs help then speak up. Believe me, talking about it helps.

No, it's about the view count.
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theprizefighter 11/1/2018 6:43pm
11/1/2018 6:43pm
Whether this thread stays or goes isn't really relevant to a more important question people should be asking themselves (or at least those who watched the video):

Why would you want to watch a video of another human being taking their own life in such a violent way, or any way for that matter?

I also happen to agree with those that think this is a bit inconsiderate of family members and close friends who may see this.
1
Mr. CrossUp
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Mr. CrossUp 11/1/2018 7:16pm
11/1/2018 7:16pm
A permanent solution to what most likely is a temporary problem.
dirtmike86
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dirtmike86 11/1/2018 8:51pm
11/1/2018 8:51pm Edited Date/Time 11/1/2018 9:00pm
dirtmike86 wrote:
It's not about Tyler anymore. It's about all the people watching this thread and not commenting because they are in a similar state of mind as...
It's not about Tyler anymore. It's about all the people watching this thread and not commenting because they are in a similar state of mind as he was and need help. What's done is done. Tyler's gone, but if his death could open a door to help someone else then there could be some positive to all this bickering. If anyone is watching this thread and needs help then speak up. Believe me, talking about it helps.

oldblood wrote:
No, it's about the view count.
What's your fucking deal bro!? You want to sit hear and hide the fact that someone you may or may not have known shot them self in broad daylight after being in a domestic violence issue? Get over yourself. You think all these people watching are jerking off watching a grown man that some of us idolized shoot himself??? Go on these other websites or youtube and bitch. But all of us HERE!! We don't think that way. It broke my heart watching that video and iam sure iam not alone. Like i already said maybe his horrible decision will help someone else.
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Portland, OR US
DanDunes818 11/1/2018 10:21pm
11/1/2018 10:21pm Edited Date/Time 11/1/2018 10:31pm
peelout wrote:
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what...
one of my best friends put a bullet in his temple about 10 years ago, we're all still dealing with it especially his 2 daughters. what a selfish fucking thing to do. very sad that Tyler chose this path, i have no sympathy for him. however, i do have sympathy for those close to him and i sincerely hope his family and friends can find some peace in the end.
I agree with Mr Peelout on this one.

jemcee
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jemcee 11/2/2018 1:14am
11/2/2018 1:14am
peelout wrote:
i see where you're coming from, and i respect your opinion as well as Regis, Bramlet, and anyone else who disagrees with my viewpoint. and in...
i see where you're coming from, and i respect your opinion as well as Regis, Bramlet, and anyone else who disagrees with my viewpoint. and in your friend's dad situation i can see where he may have been coming from, years later and in hindsight. however, when someone domes themselves with their wife and two young daughters in the next room, i hardly think it's a case of not wanting their loved ones to suffer anymore. i've grieved my loss for a long time, but i'll never be as affected as his poor family having to walk in to see what the loud noise was.

i know depression is very real, very dark, and very hard to overcome. these are things i know. no disrespect meant to anyone in this thread as i know a lot of people have been close to the edge and i urge anyone that is in that state of mind to seek help.
I'm not trying to pile on haha but after my accident I thought I was dealing with everything really well but one time I was driving by myself it all caught up to me and I almost made a terrible decision! I was trying to pick out a post or a bridge that would do the job..
My head space was so fucked up I was convinced that I was now a burden and everyone would be much better off if they didn't have to deal with all my wheelchair shit (obviously now I know that couldn't be further from the truth)..
But I will agree on the way to do it being/seeming selfish.. Even in my head I had it all sorted, my loved ones could convince themselves it was an accident and the emergency workers finding me would be better prepared to deal with what they saw..

Absolutely fucken stoked I didn't go through with it though, and not even remotely close to feeling remotely close to that since.
fanger
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fanger 11/2/2018 1:47am
11/2/2018 1:47am
jemcee wrote:
I'm not trying to pile on haha but after my accident I thought I was dealing with everything really well but one time I was driving...
I'm not trying to pile on haha but after my accident I thought I was dealing with everything really well but one time I was driving by myself it all caught up to me and I almost made a terrible decision! I was trying to pick out a post or a bridge that would do the job..
My head space was so fucked up I was convinced that I was now a burden and everyone would be much better off if they didn't have to deal with all my wheelchair shit (obviously now I know that couldn't be further from the truth)..
But I will agree on the way to do it being/seeming selfish.. Even in my head I had it all sorted, my loved ones could convince themselves it was an accident and the emergency workers finding me would be better prepared to deal with what they saw..

Absolutely fucken stoked I didn't go through with it though, and not even remotely close to feeling remotely close to that since.
That’s heavy dude, if you’re ever in a state like that again there’ll always be somebody on here to talk to.

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