The Dumbest thing someone has ever told you about dirt bikes

yardsailor
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Rochester, MN, USA
Edited Date/Time 6/8/2025 3:33pm

Ok, I will start with my story on next line.  

The Rules:

-use no names

-dont exaggerate 

-have fun

 

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EVH4Ever
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6/8/2025 3:20pm

Where’s your dang story, Sailor?

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zippytech
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6/8/2025 3:27pm

The bike does it all

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yardsailor
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6/8/2025 3:30pm Edited Date/Time 6/8/2025 3:33pm

Ok, here is a story about a guy a few years younger than I (50) He is a solo concrete worker, walks around with armpit wedges, ( thinks he’s tough). One of them guys. 

Anyways, my son and I visited his compound a couple years ago and we got talking dirt bikes. 

He was telling us that he used to race and had a KX 500.  Then he told us that he hooked up nitrous to it.  Raced at Millville a couple time. 
(He never did race). He did confirm “ it Went like a raped ape” 

I cant tolerate stupidity too well so I didnt say anything.  My son and I just made eye contact with one another and left at that. 

My son and I still talk about that. 
 

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4

The Shop

mxaniac
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Airway Heights, WA, USA
6/8/2025 3:40pm

Buy a helmet that's too tight, then use your thumb to compress the EPS liner until it fits perfect. 

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yardsailor
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6/8/2025 3:42pm

Or all you have to do is twist the throttle

19
Nairb#70
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Ivoryton, CT, USA
6/8/2025 3:47pm

They're bad for the environment.

7
5
burn1986
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bossier city, LA, USA
6/8/2025 3:48pm

Front fenders don’t matter.

😳

jmo443
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USA
6/8/2025 3:49pm
zippytech wrote:

The bike does it all

Number one answer for sure. 

Honestly the first moto and the start of the second moto at TV…. The way Jett was riding it just looked like ballet and as if he  exerted zero effort. 

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2
Nairb#70
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6/8/2025 3:50pm
yardsailor wrote:
Ok, here is a story about a guy a few years younger than I (50) He is a solo concrete worker, walks around with armpit wedges...

Ok, here is a story about a guy a few years younger than I (50) He is a solo concrete worker, walks around with armpit wedges, ( thinks he’s tough). One of them guys. 

Anyways, my son and I visited his compound a couple years ago and we got talking dirt bikes. 

He was telling us that he used to race and had a KX 500.  Then he told us that he hooked up nitrous to it.  Raced at Millville a couple time. 
(He never did race). He did confirm “ it Went like a raped ape” 

I cant tolerate stupidity too well so I didnt say anything.  My son and I just made eye contact with one another and left at that. 

My son and I still talk about that. 
 

Every pit dragger "had a 500".

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jmo443
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6/8/2025 3:51pm

Another good story I got this weekend was from a friend who was chatting with Eli’s guys in the pits. They told him Eli had been on the Ktm a bit now but they only have one with SX suspension on it. The other thing they told him was that Eli puts on only 2 hours a week on the hour meter on the bike doing motos. 

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yak651
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Appleton, WI, USA
Fantasy
6/8/2025 3:55pm
yardsailor wrote:
Ok, here is a story about a guy a few years younger than I (50) He is a solo concrete worker, walks around with armpit wedges...

Ok, here is a story about a guy a few years younger than I (50) He is a solo concrete worker, walks around with armpit wedges, ( thinks he’s tough). One of them guys. 

Anyways, my son and I visited his compound a couple years ago and we got talking dirt bikes. 

He was telling us that he used to race and had a KX 500.  Then he told us that he hooked up nitrous to it.  Raced at Millville a couple time. 
(He never did race). He did confirm “ it Went like a raped ape” 

I cant tolerate stupidity too well so I didnt say anything.  My son and I just made eye contact with one another and left at that. 

My son and I still talk about that. 
 

What the hell are arm pit wedges??

11
Mucktub
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1/31/2016
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GB
6/8/2025 3:58pm

Knobhead. "Motocross? I knew a guy who raced motocross, was British champion"

Me "Aw yeah, what was his name?"

Knobhead "Graham Higginbottom"

Me "Mmnn never heard of him."

Change the names and the title they allegedly won and I've heard this said loads of times.

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yardsailor
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Rochester, MN, USA
6/8/2025 3:59pm

Anyone?

6/8/2025 4:15pm

Was at the gas station today with bike in the back, going to ride. Very small town.

My wife says hi to a couple she knows that's older. Farming family down the street. 

Small talk happens, the guy asks me if I'm going to an obstacle course. I say yes, just don't want to get into a conversation about what motocross is.

The guy then goes to his wife, hey hun... you had a cousin that raced dirt bikes... didn't you? He was a world champion wasn't he?

I snickered a little to myself... wasn't even going to ask this riders name. He did it for me though... he asked her, what was his name again?

She goes, Pomeroy.

I shit you not. Just happened this morning. I live in a small town in Wisconsin. 

I know it doesn't follow exactly theme to this thread... but I'm still in awe.

 

70
yardsailor
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6/8/2025 4:17pm

A great story!!!  Jimmy?


Now thats a small world. 

2
vdrsnk04
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USA
6/8/2025 4:26pm Edited Date/Time 6/8/2025 4:27pm
yardsailor wrote:
Ok, here is a story about a guy a few years younger than I (50) He is a solo concrete worker, walks around with armpit wedges...

Ok, here is a story about a guy a few years younger than I (50) He is a solo concrete worker, walks around with armpit wedges, ( thinks he’s tough). One of them guys. 

Anyways, my son and I visited his compound a couple years ago and we got talking dirt bikes. 

He was telling us that he used to race and had a KX 500.  Then he told us that he hooked up nitrous to it.  Raced at Millville a couple time. 
(He never did race). He did confirm “ it Went like a raped ape” 

I cant tolerate stupidity too well so I didnt say anything.  My son and I just made eye contact with one another and left at that. 

My son and I still talk about that. 
 

yak651 wrote:

What the hell are arm pit wedges??

Same as ILS (invisible lat syndrome)

5
JazzyJJ
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Nunya, WY, USA
6/8/2025 4:30pm
jmo443 wrote:
Another good story I got this weekend was from a friend who was chatting with Eli’s guys in the pits. They told him Eli had been...

Another good story I got this weekend was from a friend who was chatting with Eli’s guys in the pits. They told him Eli had been on the Ktm a bit now but they only have one with SX suspension on it. The other thing they told him was that Eli puts on only 2 hours a week on the hour meter on the bike doing motos. 

"Only" two hours? Two days of two 30 minute motos sounds about right. Why would ne need much more?

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yardsailor
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6/8/2025 4:37pm Edited Date/Time 6/8/2025 4:58pm

Armpit wedge,   The posture you would have if you put a pillow under each armpit and walked around.   Like look at me , Im that tough.  

 

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truck
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Louisville, KY, USA
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6/8/2025 5:07pm

Armpit wedgesimages-1 3

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PNWMXer
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Washington, WA, USA
6/8/2025 5:16pm

“My (cousin/friend/neighbor/etc) rode for team such and such.”

“I had a 125 once. It was bored out to a 350.”

“I had a bike with a powerband.”

“My bike would wheelie in all the gears.”

Or my personal favorite…back around 95 or so, Dad and I stayed in a motel 6  (for you PNW folks…200th/military road in the SeaTac area, for a race at Jolly Roger’s…great area🙄). We’re loading the bikes from the room into the truck at about 5am. A guy approached us drinking a beer, who quite clearly(even to my at the time sheltered self) hadn’t been to bed yet. Told us how his buddy Billy Bob Jones Smith whatever had a “team Kawasaki sponsorship” and “got him in to ride Washougal.” Told us how “crazy” the track was and said it took him “20 minutes” to do one lap. 

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J-roc
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Sunnyvale, NY, USA
6/8/2025 5:20pm

In school when people would talk like they rode or had a bike i always asked them what color their powerband was. If you responded with a color i knew you were either a dumbass, didnt have a bike or usually both

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Dude Abides
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Smashville USA, MO, USA
6/8/2025 5:22pm

Someone told me that Suzuki is coming out with a new RMZ 450....next year

24
jmo443
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USA
6/8/2025 5:26pm
jmo443 wrote:
Another good story I got this weekend was from a friend who was chatting with Eli’s guys in the pits. They told him Eli had been...

Another good story I got this weekend was from a friend who was chatting with Eli’s guys in the pits. They told him Eli had been on the Ktm a bit now but they only have one with SX suspension on it. The other thing they told him was that Eli puts on only 2 hours a week on the hour meter on the bike doing motos. 

JazzyJJ wrote:

"Only" two hours? Two days of two 30 minute motos sounds about right. Why would ne need much more?

Motos on the weekend aren’t just 30.. and I’d assume he would be doing some type of warm up on the bike. Couldn’t see him just pushing the bike to the line starting it at the gate drop and just go Wfo for 30 mins and shut the bike off wherever he may be on the track. 

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6/8/2025 5:28pm

When we were 12 year olds out in the desert, one of the younger kids couldn't get his bike started.. Random dad walks up and says "did you check the air in the tires?" walks away. Pretty sure he rode a quad. 

2
mxaniac
Posts
576
Joined
9/9/2019
Location
Airway Heights, WA, USA
6/8/2025 5:28pm
Was at the gas station today with bike in the back, going to ride. Very small town.My wife says hi to a couple she knows that's...

Was at the gas station today with bike in the back, going to ride. Very small town.

My wife says hi to a couple she knows that's older. Farming family down the street. 

Small talk happens, the guy asks me if I'm going to an obstacle course. I say yes, just don't want to get into a conversation about what motocross is.

The guy then goes to his wife, hey hun... you had a cousin that raced dirt bikes... didn't you? He was a world champion wasn't he?

I snickered a little to myself... wasn't even going to ask this riders name. He did it for me though... he asked her, what was his name again?

She goes, Pomeroy.

I shit you not. Just happened this morning. I live in a small town in Wisconsin. 

I know it doesn't follow exactly theme to this thread... but I'm still in awe.

 

Jim was awesome, I was in total awe of him. Most gregarious guy I ever met, when he walked in to a room, all attention was on him. His brother Ron is awesome too. A good friend of mine in high school grew up across the street from them.

I took his riding school in about 1984, very little has really changed. I mean yeah, we brake while leaning now and most guys are on the balls of their feet, but in the big picture things I learned from him still apply. 

3
6/8/2025 5:32pm
When we were 12 year olds out in the desert, one of the younger kids couldn't get his bike started.. Random dad walks up and says...

When we were 12 year olds out in the desert, one of the younger kids couldn't get his bike started.. Random dad walks up and says "did you check the air in the tires?" walks away. Pretty sure he rode a quad. 

That's an old school Cheech and Chong joke - likely was just ef'ing with him.  Now If he was gay, that would have been a dead give away he rode quads.

13
Shred
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Brighton, CO, USA
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6/8/2025 5:39pm

Almost 30 years ago….

4-strokes are going to take over the sport…..

Oh….wait…..uhh

8
PNWMXer
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Washington, WA, USA
6/8/2025 5:44pm
When we were 12 year olds out in the desert, one of the younger kids couldn't get his bike started.. Random dad walks up and says...

When we were 12 year olds out in the desert, one of the younger kids couldn't get his bike started.. Random dad walks up and says "did you check the air in the tires?" walks away. Pretty sure he rode a quad. 

TbonesPop wrote:
That's an old school Cheech and Chong joke - likely was just ef'ing with him.  Now If he was gay, that would have been a dead...

That's an old school Cheech and Chong joke - likely was just ef'ing with him.  Now If he was gay, that would have been a dead give away he rode quads.

That whole broken down car bit with them was hilarious. “Maybe we’re out of gas?”

“Can’t be…I just put in 59 cents two days ago..”

5
6/8/2025 6:03pm

“Stock bikes aren’t competitive”

“The 97 CR250 was better than the 2007”

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