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It's the anxiety, ocd, and depression man and if I had a legal pharm drug that worked and tolerated better than I would probably be on it. For me it's lexapro and valium and that's the best I can do right now with what we have in meds today. Trust me I've tried others. Been on all the ssri's, all the benzo's, off label shit like mood stabilizers. Even ordered an anti-depressant from another country -Stablon(made me out of it) to see if that would work.
To me weed and the painkillers is just another way to treat my anxiety/depression. I tell you what though the weed probably helps the most with my mood to level me out it seems but it has side effects also-mostly paranoia with me. The painkillers just numb me and make me little out of it. The legal drugs like the anti-depressants have there own host of side effects and of course the benzo's like valium which I am dependent on-not addicted-I have been on for 15 years yet they hand that out like candy no problem.
So it's just a toss up. If I was in the 1950's they would be prescribing me opiates right now most likely or shock treatment
Not trying to justify anything-just saying I know I have "drug issues" but I also have anxiety, ocd, depression that just get damn tiring sometimes and need an escape or some relief. Weed and painkillers aren't a cure all by any means but they help sometimes just like the legal shit.
I do function-at least to date for the last 15 years since this anxiety problem came about by using cocaine, x, etc. Might have been pre-disposed to it anyways because I remember as a kid having ocd and anxiety but didn't realize it until I was older and my parents didn't pick up on it.
Again-I know from the outside looking in it looks like I have a drug problem and I probably do but I am also just looking for a way to treat how I feel. I have managed to still go to work, get married, take care of a house, make money, ride my dirt bike, hangout with friends and family. I'm just a little high when I do it sometimes and nobody is usually non the wiser because I don't try and get blasted-just enough to calm me a little. Even when I was sober and just taking what doctor ordered I would be out of it as well. It's a hot topic and many people self-medicate. Guess that's why they want weed legal.
Sorry again for long winded post. Just felt like I needed to clear up my situation a little better. If I told you guys I was on doctor's orders for 4 or 5 different meds then you wouldn't say nothing but I mention weed and painkillers for some relief and I have a drug problem which is somewhat correct.
We say if you're taking 5-8 hydro 500s a day as a self-prescribed substitute for pot to 'treat' your anxiety then there is no 'somewhat' or 'probably' about it.
And this is a moto-board, not group.
Seek professional help now.
And who the hell is this 'J-Law' of which everyone speaks? Should I know him?
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Okay back on J-law. Sorry guys. Whenever weed or something comes up I get all personal and shit. Sorry.
I remember someone saying something about Ron Ron being on pain killers when he gave Bubba a run at a Supercross years back in the 125 class.
Also, sometimes weed will make me real sleepy and sometimes give me energy. Really don't know why.
I can fully relate what you are going through man, i have been popping percs like Tic Tacs for going on 5 years now, but not by choice, i need that back surgery i have been talking about putting off all this time. And in the past have been through some pretty heavy addictions after my accident over the years, Went from booze, to a really bad speed habit, i was a BIG mess for a long long time, but have been clean off that for almsot 15 years. I now have a pill problem, but at this time i dont have much of a choice until i get my spine fixed.
If you are ever having a hard time and need someone to talk to, im here for ya man.
Pit Row
Sure the buzz is desirable a little but more just to alleviate some anxiety/depression and I've tried the right way.
if you have ever been on ssri's, benzo's, or even allegra or zyrtec or benadryl you get weird on them too. I was up for 2 days on clarinex and had to go home from allegra. Felt weird as shit on them.
Bottom line all drugs have there ups and downs-legal or not-and have side effects. Shit so does food. Just trying to find one that works for me. However, I do know where your coming from and I appreciate the concer. I know I have had past drug problems so I have to be real cautious and catch myself. It's a battle at times. I feel like shit sober and get worried about doing illegal drugs to feel better because of over doing it or being messed up or becoming addicted so I totally understand what your saying.
I can function to date-I manage a large company and do normal shit like everyone else but I just feel like shit most the time and it brings me down. That's when the self-medicating starts coming in. I was a real asshole when I was just taken high dose of ssri's and benzo that doctor gave me and to offset that he wanted to give me a mood stabilizer. Just wanted to keep adding meds. So you can see the frustration on my end.
Some drugs work better than others but still haven't found that magic cure and probably never will. It's not all as bad as it seems but yeah I get scared of the addiction, especially the pain killers. Well weed also especially getting pulled over with it on me.
Guess just trying to find something that works-that's all. I don't drink though. Have enough drugs I already take but doesn't mean I wouldn't mind getting drunk every now and then with my group of friends. They probably all think I'm weird. I'm high and they don't even know and there getting drunk as shit wondering why I'm not drinking.
Would just like to add I know this thread got way off topic and I should be talking about this in non-moto or some other board but just felt like venting. That's all.
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