Not really spending much time in the political threads anymore. Figure, I’d start something a little different.
I have a bunch of names for my coworkers that have stuck. What names do you guys have for your coworkers?
My list:
Taint. Can’t grow a beard. Looks like a damn Taint.
Lord Faarquad. A project manager who has no idea what it takes to get the job done. Pretty self explanatory.
Karen. Another journeyman who always whines, cries and, snitches to the office.
Cricket Cruncher. Looks like the type of person who ate bugs as a kid.
Inspector Gadget. Looks just like him
Shrek. Looks just like him.
Barney Rubble. Looks just like him.
Ralph Wiggum. Sounds just like him.
Time to crash. Long day.
I’ll think of more while I’m working with these dipshits tomorrow.
"Foreskin" - disappears when things gets hard.
The head brothers. Dick and shit. Two highly unmotivated high school kids. Have to tell them every move to make even though they have lists of tasks and one has been with us for well over a year. One wears hey dudes to work and the other cowboy boots. They both do the farmer shuffle with every step.
Worked with a guy who was real skinny and pale like Nosferatu, I nicknamed him Daywalker like from the movie Blade.
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Backseat Billy. Won't actually take action and do anything, but will happily stand back and tell you how he thinks it should be done.
Sandy Box, but that really was her name. She’d glare at me, every time I’d giggle after saying her name.
Doobie - kid looks stoned all the time
Fixinta:
You get that done yet? "I'm fixinta"
(Probably a Texas thing)
The victim—guy that after 20 yrs still complains about how badly he got screwed in his divorce
Lord gord—thinks he is a god like captain
Creepy little kid—deckhand that is pasty white, pudgy and pretends to be a ladies man
1/4 master— a captain who used to put a quarter behind the toilet .then check to see if the deckhand had cleaned there.
Smudge—engineer that used to touch doors, walls etc and leave a grease/oil smudge everywhere
Ships cat—self explanatory engineer
Captain crunch—he has hit a rail bridge with a barge, hit a shore side walk way, totally destroyed a tug after squeezing it between to barges, nearly killed a deckhand.
Pillar—he hit a bridge pillar
Foghorn leghorn—talks so much while inhaling with a tone it sounds like a foghorn
Cory willnot—first name as posted, last name Knott, but he willnot do extra duties.
Rainman— captain that has ADHD, like Dustin Hoffman in the movie
Smoke dragon—captain that was very good at smoking cigarettes
Leon—his name was Noel ,he had a different personality so his name backwards described the other person
Ron Jeremy—captain that looked like him
Cuban missal crisis —bargeman who while on a holiday to Cuba with his wife threw a leg over some woman from Cuba a created a kid. his wife left him
Fluffy—master who to always fluff his pillows.
The guy is a Fn blister ,he shows up after the work is done.
Tuesday morning. Dude can't make it in on Mondays.
Gator. Sees someone struggling with something heavy or awkward, and evidently his arms are too short to help.
Every job has a “Biscuit” they’re always soak’n up the gravy.
At my dads work back in the day there was a guy that was really small , so they called him ‘Fruit Fly”
Lurch - guy had to duck under door frames
Calamine - Went fishing in Canada and came back with pink arms due to all the bug bites smothered in the lotion.
Sip-Ahh - Every time this guy took a drink of coffee he would do that.
Just Here For The Party - Not sure what that guy did.
The Linebacker - lady in the front office.
The Golden Child - Self explanatory.
Ham Hocks - Annoying lady with such features.
Reindeer Fucker - Some guy with Norwegian heritage.
Teflon Tom - Never got into trouble for screwing up, nothing sticks.
Shim - Was that a she or a him?
The Dick - real name was Dick
Aryan Nation
Bob Segar
Silverback
Stussy
Mondo 1
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Flashlight. Dude has a silver front tooth. Bright as hell when he smiles in daylight.
Fruitbat. Has a nose like one
"Cuban Missile Crisis" has to be one of the best nicknames in the history of nicknames. 🤣
How about nicknames for riding buddy’s?
Pit Row
LOL, I have to laugh too when I see things like Cassie Hunt from CNN (I believe) and think how most corporate emails are first letter from first name followed by last name@.xyz
Didn't every shop have a Kato back in the day? For the dumb ass grunt? I think it became popular after the OJ trial modeled after the dumb Kato that was Nichole's friend
Heykin:
We had a guy on the crew who always slid in midmorning, with nothing but his mccafe coffee and mcmuffin. Never anything else.
Went inside, coming out later saying, "heykin I borrow...??" Whatever tools someone else had, in order for him to do his job.
Scary guy, He's been doing some bigger am races and showed everybody how he got his name.
Scary 2, Another fast and aggressive New England pro that sometimes made RC look smooth. And He and Scary Guy would have fun just slamming each other all moto
Eggman, No idea why.
Weirdo, Self explaining
Bakeshow He always did burnouts on the gate until his tire smoked
Brake clean, He sponsored one of my buddies by buying him a few cases of brake cleaner
I was Stilts when I was skinny, then Sasquatch after I gained some weight.
The Street Pharmacist, he was an actual pharmacy worker.
Smithers, His last name was smith and he acted like a cartoon .
Brotha Booth He called everybody "brotha"
Whisky spelt Wiski but pronounced like the alcohol His last name is Wisniewski and we just called him whiskey for short.
HC15 He bet my buddy and me that we wouldn't remember his bike lock combo in elementary school.
"Post" as in Dumb as.
“The missing link’
He looked like it!
Showstopper.
Put flux on a copper line needing brazed. It was also part of a medical gas system. Had to rip it out in its entirety.
Not a co-worker, but a fella down our pub. ‘Porno Dave’.
When he first moved into the area and started coming down our pub, his wife was kind of getting hit on by the local lecherous farmers at the bar when Dave went to the toilet. “What does your bloke do for a living anyway”, they asked. “Oh, he’s a porn star”, she replied (he isn’t). It was just an off-the-cuff, joke remark meant to kill the conversation that she didn’t want to be a part of.
Within 24 hours his ‘line of work’ was all round the town.
It was funny at the time. Until his five year-old boy had a birthday and none of the local parents let their kids go to his party.
The label stuck, and twenty years later ‘Porno Dave’ is his only name.
Chief Yellow Toes
Just earned that name today. Spilled a bunch of piss inside his boot while removing a urinal off a wall. I couldn’t quit laughing. I was working in the other bathroom and heard, MOTHER FUCKER!!!! I walked over to ask what’s wrong.
MY BOOT IS FULL OF PISS!!!!!! 😂😂🤣🤣🫵🏼
Dave is a name that you can put almost anything in front and make a nickname. 24 Hour Dave (stayed up for 24 hours), Closet Dave (lived in a closet in college), Super Dave (over jumped a big double and looked like Superman), Seattle Dave (moved from Seattle), Random Dave (dude would just show up), lots of others.
A few coworkers I've worked with:
Motion Light, only worked when someone walked by.
Eileen, always leaning on something
Tiny, weighed 380lbs
Hundo, moved like he was 100 years old
Snacks, always eating something
Eight and a Half, missing one and a half fingers
Hot Shoe, hot metal dropped in his shoe, later shortened to just Shoe
School, just an old school dude, put up with nary any bullshit.
Dirt, dude was dumber than dirt
Fabio, bald dude
Crack of Noon Mike!
dipshit is one of my favorite nicknames for coworkers, fitting for each at different times
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