Dad pushing Lil Johnny too hard.

JACK_Schit
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Location
una, AZ
Edited Date/Time 1/27/2012 6:47am
Notes from Sunday's local track practice +training + coaching this weekend:



1) Lil Johnny is a Jr level rider and is not a naturally gifted rider.

2) Lil Johnny's confidence is not high, especially when it comes to jumping.

3) Moto Dad is pushing Lil Johnny to jump the triples - but Lil Johnny is sacred and doesn't want any thing to do with the triples because he knows what his skill level is.

4) Dad keeps pushing....

5) Lil Johnny breaks down crying.

6) Dad looses his tolerance and patience and proceeds to over react and blow up.

7) Lil Johnny spirit is crushed both mentally and physically.

8) Dad shuts down and does the 'passive aggressive act."



I would go on but.... I hope that this situation changes soon - not only for the Lil Johnny that I'm working with but, some of the other and Lil Johnny's.



I have accepted that I can not change Moto Dad (he doesn't want to change) and have to move on...... I'm not looking for advice here, I know how to diplomatically navigate this dilemma - I am just so disappointed to once again cross paths with Moto Dad's that pushes Lil Johnny's too hard.

It would be great if we could take the "High Road" and talk/discus this subject without naming names.

Thanks in advance,
Jack



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jleews6
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Hardy, VA, USA
10/19/2010 12:10pm
Its sad but you see it all the time.
I never pushed my son but I always told him that if we are going to do this and you want to race you have to give it 100% no matter what.

My son went from a beginer to a fast B rider in less then three years.
mxb2
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10/19/2010 12:20pm
Who s lil Johnny? LOL!
10/19/2010 12:23pm
mxb2 wrote:
Who s lil Johnny? LOL!
Mike Alessi.
Ddavis
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10/19/2010 12:25pm Edited Date/Time 10/19/2010 12:27pm
Ive seen dads yell at kids and make them cry, even when there like 13 years old!

At transcal at milestone Stilez Robertson was battling with Carson Mumford and washed out in a rut, the next lap his dad pulls him off the track (during the race) and starts yelling at him pointing at the rut, i couldnt make out words but he was being a total asshole, the next lap he went through the rut pretty fast for being a 8 year old but his dad still wasnt happy, yelling and throwing his arms up in the air. Its pathetic. I know my story is about a 6x LL champion or whatever but its still the same shat.


jleews6: my dad used the "with time, speed will come" technique and in the beginning of 2006 i barely moved out of beginner, by the end of 07 I was battling with some of the fastest socal 85 riders. Without my dad ever yelling at me to do a jump or specific rut.

The Shop

mxb2
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10/19/2010 12:27pm
Maybe LIL JOHN! WHAT< YEA OK!
10/19/2010 12:32pm
I personally can't stand jag off mini dads. I've seen ,like a lot of you have to, mini dads yelling, hitting, and just straight up throwing pit fits over their little Johnny not performing up to their outrageous standards. Once out at a track in Port Angelas Wa. track about 10-12 yrs ago I saw a dad using a stick on his kid while the kid was practicing corners on his kx 60. If the kid didn't use his front break his dad was whacking him in the hand ( very hard to) with the stick. I watched it for about 20 min and then after I couldn't take watching it anymore myself and a friend of mine went over and said something. I could literally hear the kid wincing in pain w/every blow to the hand. It probably was a mistake in hind sight but we couldn't take it. I asked the guy what he was trying to accomplish by hitting the kid? At first he explained himself saying he was only hitting him hard enough to alert him and then as he was explaining himself he said "WTF I don't have to explain myself to you". I looked over at little johnny and he was crying (I don't know from pain or what but he was crying). Pops at that point told the kid to get back to riding,. I told the guy if I see you hit the kid one more time it will be the last time I have to see this shit today. As my friend and I are walking back to our pits I hear a whack (louder than any of the other times) and before I could even turn around my friend was on top of the moron wrestling the stick out of his hands and then whacking the guy with the stick as hard as he could in the hands and arms asking him if he liked how it felt. I let that go on for a minute and then pulled my friend off him. I looked over at little johnny (and this is why I regret it) and little johnny was just crying for my friend to get off his pops. Needless to say I doubt we did the kid any favors but the bottom line was we couldn't watch that shit happen in front of our eyes.


I can see you're in a tough spot to be in for sure. Trying to tell a pops how to raise his kid (whether pops is right or very wrong) is a difficult spot. What's weird about most overly aggressive mini dads is they can't ride worth a shit. I say (jokingly) make pops jump all the triples 1st.
Brent
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10/19/2010 12:45pm Edited Date/Time 10/19/2010 1:19pm
These dads who push their kids to that level in any sport, football, motocross, baseball, whatever are born losers who could never make the cut themselves, so they try to make it via their offspring.

I keep telling people to watch "Inside the Outdoors" to see the prototypical psyco mini dad. Dont be Tony Alessi.




I'm almost positive Harry Everts never hit Stefan with a stick or screamed at him if he missed a rut, or said, "WE Need to work harder". Harry Everts was a world Champ, he knew what was up, unlike the wannabe dads abusing their poor kids.




Your kid either has talent or he doesnt. Give him love and encouragement either way.
cdm806
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Locke, NY, USA
10/19/2010 1:08pm
I've seen this happen in the pro pits as well. Such a shame. What ever happened to riding a dirt bike for fun?
NP301
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Keene, NH, USA
10/19/2010 1:25pm Edited Date/Time 10/19/2010 1:26pm
I rode with a broken foot and got second at kroc.

My dad didn't tell me to do it, i did it my self Tongue
bauman117
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Riverside, CA, USA
10/19/2010 1:28pm
It gets under my skin big time..Been shooting alot of amature races the last few years and there has been sometimes that i was the only one to wittness the crash because i was out in the back 40 of the track.Ive seen were the kid/teenager is knocked unconsious for over a min(completely out) and by the time the mini dad waddles out on the track to see why he crashed as apposed to if he is ok,The kid is still figurin out where they are and who they are and the dad will lift them of the ground assuring all trackside medical he is ok..he didnt seee the crash and he didnt see his eyes rolled in the back of his head for what seems like eternity out there.I would think the first question would be "are u ok?" but for some dads its not
OldPro277
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Avonmore, PA, USA
10/19/2010 1:31pm
cdm806 wrote:
I've seen this happen in the pro pits as well. Such a shame. What ever happened to riding a dirt bike for fun?
money
johansen
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MG
10/19/2010 1:54pm
Ddavis wrote:
Ive seen dads yell at kids and make them cry, even when there like 13 years old! At transcal at milestone Stilez Robertson was battling with...
Ive seen dads yell at kids and make them cry, even when there like 13 years old!

At transcal at milestone Stilez Robertson was battling with Carson Mumford and washed out in a rut, the next lap his dad pulls him off the track (during the race) and starts yelling at him pointing at the rut, i couldnt make out words but he was being a total asshole, the next lap he went through the rut pretty fast for being a 8 year old but his dad still wasnt happy, yelling and throwing his arms up in the air. Its pathetic. I know my story is about a 6x LL champion or whatever but its still the same shat.


jleews6: my dad used the "with time, speed will come" technique and in the beginning of 2006 i barely moved out of beginner, by the end of 07 I was battling with some of the fastest socal 85 riders. Without my dad ever yelling at me to do a jump or specific rut.
So nice of you to do the kid a favor with some namedropping. I think it's appreciated.

JACK_Schit
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una, AZ
10/19/2010 1:54pm
Gentlemen,

It would be a shame to have this tread turn into a character assassination thread.

It would be great if we could take the "High Road" and talk/discus this subject without naming names.

Thanks in advance,
Jack
Moto East Mag
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10/19/2010 1:56pm
Never ceases to amaze me....
from a Mom telling a kid "we're going home if you don't do the big double" to Dads getting violent with a kid at the track.

I was pitted next to a character recently in Pa. who spent all day screaming at the kid about his results (on his 65) and generally throwing a hissy fit. They were both freaking miserable. Anybody that gets that bent out of shape about results in the pee-wee class is an idiot.
Torco1
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10/19/2010 1:56pm
cdm806 wrote:
I've seen this happen in the pro pits as well. Such a shame. What ever happened to riding a dirt bike for fun?
OldPro277 wrote:
money
And bitchin' little plastic trophies.
GODMODE
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Cedar Hills, UT, USA
10/19/2010 2:02pm
my dad is the exact opposite, he gets pissed when i do the big jumps, and says i'm not careful enough with my saftey and ish haha.


he also drives a prius...

but his cr250 is titties to ride! (:
MX4EVR
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Canton, OH, USA
10/19/2010 2:02pm
My 9 yr old son, 10 yr old daughter, both race kx65's and little daughter 7 yrs old just moved up to a ttr110
I tell my kids all the time : we are very very lucky to be able to do this as a hobby, be thankful and realize you already won, just the simple fact we're here ( at the track racing ) is a win in my book!

as long as they ride safe, my mouth stays shut.


holeshot100
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Billings, MO, USA
10/19/2010 2:03pm Edited Date/Time 10/19/2010 2:46pm
Let the Dad know that his son is at advantage for not doing thebig jumps, because he will work other areas of the track harder to catch up with the riders who are jumping the obstacle. Eventually all the kids do the jumps anyway, so "corner speed, good lines, and late braking" are what really matters. When a kid feels comfortable, they will jump it. Also, once your kid finds a nice jump he likes{preferrably a table top} and feels comfortable, let him do it over and over if the track situation allows for it. Make sure they having fun. You naturally do better at something if you are having fun.
newmann
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10/19/2010 2:04pm
I threw my hands up the other day when the gate dropped and my kid had forgotten to put the bike in gear. Later in the race as he was making his way to the front and the bike that I built seized, he threw his hands up. It all evened out. LOL

I love the part about Lil Johnny not jumping the triples on the local track. Why the fuck do we need do or die triples on a local track??? Do they realize how many people they drive away with jumps like that? Bridge the gaps, step up/step down style triples and the kids will gain the confidence to go fast. Lil Johnny probably would have went for it and not been injured for coming up short. The fast guys will still triple over the fastest way possible and it keeps the slower riders safer. Best part, more people show up to pay and ride. You should have coached the track owner a little too.
danman
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Readstown, WI, USA
10/19/2010 2:09pm
I'm just the opposite of crazy pit dad. I tell my boys that we are there to have fun and if I see them jump any big doubles, I'll hurt them myself.
look out below
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10/19/2010 2:20pm
The only thing I bust my kids balls for is for being unsafe toward himself (he is 6) or the other riders (pulling on the track infront of other riders, stopping in weird spots ect.) I make sure its all about the fun.
sc961
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Hutchinson, MN, USA
10/19/2010 2:24pm
Jack, I had a similar situation happen a while back.

Racing family, good kids, even kinda fast, not that it's an important point. After a moto I see the mini rider of the family riding between vehicles tooling around. I ask him "what's up".. He tells me he's afraid to go back to the trailer because he didn't win.

I found the dad, had a brief discussion relating what I'd heard, and told him if he wanted to give the track a shot my 450 was always open for him. But, he'd better win what ever race he entered.

The dad didn't talk with me much after that, but I never saw that kid afraid to go back after a moto again.
sharkey
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Marysville, WA, USA
10/19/2010 3:52pm
Ddavis wrote:
Ive seen dads yell at kids and make them cry, even when there like 13 years old! At transcal at milestone Stilez Robertson was battling with...
Ive seen dads yell at kids and make them cry, even when there like 13 years old!

At transcal at milestone Stilez Robertson was battling with Carson Mumford and washed out in a rut, the next lap his dad pulls him off the track (during the race) and starts yelling at him pointing at the rut, i couldnt make out words but he was being a total asshole, the next lap he went through the rut pretty fast for being a 8 year old but his dad still wasnt happy, yelling and throwing his arms up in the air. Its pathetic. I know my story is about a 6x LL champion or whatever but its still the same shat.


jleews6: my dad used the "with time, speed will come" technique and in the beginning of 2006 i barely moved out of beginner, by the end of 07 I was battling with some of the fastest socal 85 riders. Without my dad ever yelling at me to do a jump or specific rut.
johansen wrote:
So nice of you to do the kid a favor with some namedropping. I think it's appreciated. [img]http://clipsandcomment.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/stfudl7.jpg[/img]
So nice of you to do the kid a favor with some namedropping. I think it's appreciated.

chances are others have seen it also
JustMX
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10/19/2010 3:58pm
Years ago I had a dad that would constantly yell at his kid.

Finally I had seen enough. I went over and started talking to him.

I asked him if ever had ridden and he said yes, and that he had actually raced many, many years ago.

I explained that the sport had chan ged a lot and that it certainly wasn't as easy as it looked.

I went on to point out that I had a yz 250 that ws hardly ever ridden and that if he wanted to see how much it had changed he was welcome to try it sometime and that maybe then he would understand why his son struggled sometimes.

He took my offer.

The next Saturday night he was all swagger until practice started. He was floundering.

In the first practice he went out in he must have fallen 5 times in slow speed 180 turns.

He started smoothing out a bit but that only allowed him to crash going faster.

By the end of the night he was a whipped puppy.

He came up and thanked me for letting him ride.

I never saw him yell again.
Ddavis
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10/19/2010 4:12pm
johansen wrote:
So nice of you to do the kid a favor with some namedropping. I think it's appreciated. [img]http://clipsandcomment.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/12/stfudl7.jpg[/img]
So nice of you to do the kid a favor with some namedropping. I think it's appreciated.

Truth hurts?
Towelie
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10/19/2010 4:17pm
I guess all I am hearing is "we're all soft and this is why China is going to kick our ass when they invade"
kzizok
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10/19/2010 4:30pm Edited Date/Time 10/19/2010 4:31pm
Just want to clarify, it is not OK to do this to "Lil Johnny" but to show how cool you are to abusive dad is right? Not saying that abusive behavior to kids is right. However, what I am saying is by doing something similar to the dad fixes the situation?
flarider
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10/19/2010 4:42pm
True story, and while I didn't like it, this actually happened

A Dad was really railing on his son, on a 65 at the time, to jump this big triple....it was big, and the kid was very apprehensive about jumping it, but the Dad kept pushing him to do it, to the point of the kid getting to tears.

Eventually, the kid not only did it, but did it with ease and then kept doing it over and over.

I later asked the Dad why he pushed him like that if he didn't want to do it, and the Dad replied confidently "Because I know he can and I know his skill and I know his talent, he just doesn't believe, so he needs to be pushed hard sometimes"

The kid became a 2x LL champion, fairly well known pro rider (lower level) and both father and son are still involved in the industry on an influential level.

I didn't agree with his actions (still don't) but understand it, and he did seem to know his son better than the son knew himself
txmxer
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10/19/2010 4:45pm
JustMX wrote:
Years ago I had a dad that would constantly yell at his kid. Finally I had seen enough. I went over and started talking to him...
Years ago I had a dad that would constantly yell at his kid.

Finally I had seen enough. I went over and started talking to him.

I asked him if ever had ridden and he said yes, and that he had actually raced many, many years ago.

I explained that the sport had chan ged a lot and that it certainly wasn't as easy as it looked.

I went on to point out that I had a yz 250 that ws hardly ever ridden and that if he wanted to see how much it had changed he was welcome to try it sometime and that maybe then he would understand why his son struggled sometimes.

He took my offer.

The next Saturday night he was all swagger until practice started. He was floundering.

In the first practice he went out in he must have fallen 5 times in slow speed 180 turns.

He started smoothing out a bit but that only allowed him to crash going faster.

By the end of the night he was a whipped puppy.

He came up and thanked me for letting him ride.

I never saw him yell again.
great story!



On the other hand, I don't have any kids that ride...so, when I do go to the track, I run around and yell and scream at other peoples kids.
Cory976
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Littleton, CO, USA
10/19/2010 4:48pm
I witnessed a "Mini dad" shoot rocks from a slingshot at his kid when he lost the lead in a local 80cc Expert race in Colorado back in the early 90's. IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RACE! Stupid!

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