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half of all marriages end in divorce
till death do us part..? maybe 100 years ago
Need context. How long you two been married?
Agree with others that many women don’t have their own individual passions / hobbies outside family and marriage, but every person can have their “Motocross” for them.
What’s her interests in her own time? Do you support her interests?
Mine (of 24 years) played soccer collegiality and well into her 40’s. It was her Motocross. She loved it and I’d go watch and support her when I could as would she for my Amateur / Vet Motocross hobby.
There’s a balance. Motocross and/or Soccer don’t pay the bills, but we both know/knew the importance of each other’s interests and the positive affect it has/had on the relationship.
There’s obviously a lot of other reasons (other than Motocross) you’re posting this question, but my Wife and I write things down (every now and then) of what we appreciate in our lives / relationship AND resent. Get it out on the table without raised voices or anger. Too many pull the plug too early on marriage for reasons that could have been easily addressed. Communication is key.
I wouldn't get divorced over motocross. But I would definitely think seriously about the fact that the person who made a covenant with me doesn't respect my aspirations enough to let me have some moto time. Marriage is a two-way street, and I was racing before I met her.
Are you supporting her and her hobbies the way she supported yours?
Have you done everything in your power to make her and your family your number 1 priority?
I love moto more than anything outside of my family, but moto is a luxury not a necessity. Plenty of things more important and higher on the priority list than moto.
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We’d probably be divorced if I quit riding
seriously though I hope you guys can work it out. The best compromise is usually right in the middle… It’s all about balance. Take her on a few dates a month, couple of non moto related trips a year May help as well… I know it does for us.
I've got nothing on how to make a wife / girlfriend happy(er)
But the guys with kids involved are blowing it. Kids first. Their spare time needs to be devoted to them. Sorry.
Start shaping the kids to be his future riding buddies,
make riding a family thing while they're still young. Get a cheap camper if you have to. Even if they don't wind up riding it's all about them for a few years.
No.
That seems like a ridiculous reason to get divorced.
Austin, I know you aren't trying to put yourself under a magnifying glass, but just to paint a better picture or make this seemingly wild conundrum more understandable, from prior posts and stuff I'm getting the idea you're still a fast, young-ish guy and maybe still chasing the dream? Is that a bad read it is it in the ballpark?
For most guys it's just for fun and fairly unimportant competition (unless it's currently in progress, then it'll feel pretty damn important), so it's probably different.
This is because before you were married, it's all an audition and then reality hits with kids and related. Compromise is part of it, but can also be looked at giving up what you love, even if it's only a little at a time. This is not specific to moto and works both ways other than the audition part. That is almost always from the female side.....in other words the cute girl that sat next to you, helped wash your bike, and stayed at the track for you all day is not reality.
I have so many friends that have to ask permission to live their lives daily. You can view that as compromise, but in these cases it doesn't work the other way. I did this as well for a long time so it's easy to recognize, but I didn't really ask and then stayed "in trouble" as an adult that was also paying for everything.
Good luck.
You have one life to live
The machine in garage never told me I'm a piece of shit and fucked everyone in the cul-de-sac.
If you don’t already listen to kris keefer he has a lot of good insight on to to balance riding and family
No.
My whole crew races. Wife, and both our boys. My wife was mad at me Friday when I decided to leave my bike at home so I could focus on being Moto dad and Moto husband
You outlined a problem with people but not the institution of marriage. All you did was emphasize that OP needs to start thinking clearly.
You chose that.
the problem with the institution of marriage is that the government is involved and it is a very, very risky game for most men.
One of the biggest problems with marriages today is that they start out based purely on a physical connection without the emotional side. Red flags get missed and looked over until the physical side becomes less often and they realize their relationship had no strong emotional base. That and so many treat marriage like it’s dating and aren’t willing to work at any thing. They expect marriage to not require any work and expect to never have to give an inch on anything they want while they also expect the other to give a mile.
Pit Row
Get a 125 and bring some excitement back into your lives. Briefly when she was 17 she wanted a bad boy. And now at 33 she grew up and had yrs of training from her gal pals. And now it’s about money and her security, she wants a easy life. Going out of my way know my way around . The grass is never greener & there’s plenty around. - women that is . Go get a better 1 but is she ? Did she complete stage 8 of being a women ?
i think its funny how all this is getting put back on me lol.....
i just asked has mx been the reason for your divorce?
your close, i think my own personal issue is figuring out how to let it go, knowing im the best ive ever been right now.... Having a hard time with that.
Your correct. My kawi is badass.
OP: “Has MX ever been the reason for your divorce?”
“unfortunately i think motocross could very well be the reason we get a divorce as well! ”
“lets not make this about me,..” lol
i didnt say i needed advice or get told how i could save my marrige lol,
thats why i said lets not make this about me...
if you want or are trying to be at the top level or anywhere close to it you have to be fully dived in the pool not just dipping your toes in.
you havecto live eat breath sleep it. you have to fully devote yourself to it, even when your a child....
some women just arent down with that.... and thats okay.
For sure man, I think this is a question only you can answer. What makes you the happiest. Now if you were an established pro, the tune might sound different at the house. Best of luck on the track and at home.
You’re right it was just implied.
this is most millenial and gen Z girls.
spend 10+ years riding the carosel, getting pounded out by alphas (chads/thugs/criminals/etc) then @ 33 she wants a good guy with a good job ahaha
It’s all about balance fellas. That’s why I’m single
But who wants the expired, beat up shredded beef when you can get fresh hot off the press filet mignon
No, but a divorce was the reason I got another bike and started riding MX again after a long hiatus of not riding or racing.
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