Posts
668
Joined
4/16/2008
Location
USA
Edited Date/Time
4/12/2019 6:33pm
I am getting old. I have to write stories down when I think about them. Somebody asked me how's the riding in Arizona (I moved to Az from Ca.) I thought about one of my first rides when I got there. Here it is:
When I first got to Az I joined a local "Trailriders" group. I checked their meet-up posts and they seemed legit. They were meeting up every week for rides in the area I had just moved to. In hindsight, when they told me to meet them at Billy Jacks Bar in a town with a population of just over 1,000 people, I should have known...
Anyways, the guy "leading" the ride started it out with the early bird (Half off before noon) special at Billy Jack's. Two silver bullets for the price of one ($2.00). That particular morning he said he needed to take the "edge off" because he had a late night as a bouncer in a club the next town over and had stayed up late drink'n and fighting. He had an extra drink, a screwdriver - and me? Eager to gain some local knowledge and wanting to fit in, I went with the two for one silver bullets. This is going to be interesting, I thought to myself...
I got there early and was hanging out with the guy who I nicked named "Trail Boss Shane". One by one the other riders showed up, all riding up on their bikes. We had an XR400, XR650, DZ400, some kinda of Chinese made dual sport / adventure bike thingy and Trail Boss Shane on his trusty Kawasaki KLR with dual saddlebags (An important feature that would later come into play)
Trail Boss Shane lead the rides because he had the most knowledge. He told me he had ridden from Flagstaff to Phoenix to Havasu and back on dirt roads. He explained that since his Workers Comp sustained injury fighting at said bar as a bouncer, he was on permanent SSI and had nothing but time to wonder the Arizona desert on his "dirt-bike".
"So what's the game plan?" I asked... For some strange reason, the answer didn't make me load up my bike and leave right there on the spot. I was intrigued to see how this freak show was going to play out. I was all in and I was very quickly not to be disappointed!
Trail Boss Shane explained that he was actually a human GPS. He had memorized every dirt trail and road from Flagstaff to Phoenix. His "Plan" was "Follow me". He said there would be times we may cross over the same trail or dirt road, but as Trail Boss Shane, (let's call him TBS for short), explained it, his GPS worked on sight. He further explained that he might have to cross a road or climb to the top of a big ol' hill, but not to worry, we would never get lost because if he got high enough on a hill or mountain top, we would be OK.
Uh oh I thought...
As we got ready to take off I noticed TBS did not have a helmet. "Yeah", TBS said, "the president of our club gives me sh!t about not wearing a helmet, but the damn thing just aggravates my Workers Comp neck injury" TBS explained. He said, "I don't ever really crash anyways". He chuckled and said, "hey, at least I wore my boots. Sometimes I like to ride in my sandals"
So off we went. TBS started off on a long dry, dusty backwoods type of dirt road. Before I knew it we were doing Baja 1000 type of speeds. TBS showed his skills by drifting the KLR 650 sideways through big flat sweeper turns. It actually was a thing of beauty. I was mesmerized. At times I was following Mert Lawwill and other times he had the full lock slide of Bruce Penhall down pat. Riding the edge of the road and making it look easy. Me? My little Yamaha 250wrf was struggling to keep up!
True to form and as previously warned, TBS began crossing dirt roads that looked suspiciously familiar. I could see what was shaping up as TBS drew a straight line and headed towards an extremely rocky mountain.
We stopped at the bottom of an old jeep trail that had turned single track because "no one dared go up it" TBS explained. "Get ready" TBS said, "if you tip over I recommended you go back to the bottom and restart your climb. We are going all the way to the top so I can get a look". And with that, off TBS went.
He climbed the oversized barcalounger of a motorcycle he was on with the ease, precision and grace of a Rocky Mountain Ram. I never saw his feet leave the foot-pegs. I struggled to keep up and paddled like a duck in some of the tight switchbacks that were filled with baby head sized rocks. When we got to the top and everyone had joined us, TBS popped open one of the saddlebags on his bike.
"Who wants a cold one?" No room for tools, maps, extra parts, survival gear etc , "I carry at least a twelve pack for rides like these. It's all about fun" TBS explained. We all swilled our beers and took off. We traversed miles of dusty dry rocky desert. Sometimes on roads, washes, double track and single track. Every 30 min or so TBS would stop, pop open the saddlebags and offer a beer. After a few of those stops it was just Shane having the beer, until he ran out. Then he started smoking some weed. "Relaxes my neck and I just ride better" he said. It seemed to be working for him...
We stopped after about two hours of riding and TBS asked me what I thought about the ride so far. I told him the flat dirt roads weren't my thing, but I had really enjoyed the single track and washes we went down. Especially the flowy trail we had just been on with some little rises that made mini tabletops you could get some air on. It reminded me of a junior motocross track I said.
"Ah, so you like jumps? I have just the place I want to take you to". TBS had a treacherous twinkle in his eye. He fired his bike up, dumped the clutch, spun the tire and threw a dusty dirt fan 30ft into the air and on to all the riders. Off he went. I followed him down a fast dirt road that rose and fell slightly, making lots of blind crests. TBS kept it pinned and as we came over the top of a blind crest he veered off to the right on what looked like a well worn in double track over a dirt berm. Clearly he had no intent of letting off. I saw the angle of the berm face but could not see the other side. TBS kept it pinned and sailed off and over the berm like Evil F'n Knievel.
Fuuuuuuugggg!!!! TBS just killed himself I thought!
I cautiously rode over the top of the berm to see TBS on the other side straddling his KLR and bent over at the waist with his head resting on top of his bars. "hOLy $h!t!!!" I said, "did you know that jump was there?" TBS said, "yeah, it's my favorite jump. I don't know what got into me" (I did, twelve beers and a couple of hits off of his mini bong he carried in his saddlebags). "I usually hit in third gear, but I am pretty sure I was in fourth". He got off his bike and checked the underside of his frame. He swore to me he felt the frame stretch when he crash landed back to earth...
After he calmed himself down I asked, "Would you mind if I took a quick picture of you hitting the jump? Oh, and don't do it in fourth, that was f'n nuts" I said. TBS said sure and don't worry. Third it is...
I bring you TRAIL BOSS SHANE
And no, I never went back and rode with the guys again. Once was enough. I check in on their Facebook page every once in a while. They're still out there wondering around the desert just "having fun" as TBS put's it.
When I first got to Az I joined a local "Trailriders" group. I checked their meet-up posts and they seemed legit. They were meeting up every week for rides in the area I had just moved to. In hindsight, when they told me to meet them at Billy Jacks Bar in a town with a population of just over 1,000 people, I should have known...
Anyways, the guy "leading" the ride started it out with the early bird (Half off before noon) special at Billy Jack's. Two silver bullets for the price of one ($2.00). That particular morning he said he needed to take the "edge off" because he had a late night as a bouncer in a club the next town over and had stayed up late drink'n and fighting. He had an extra drink, a screwdriver - and me? Eager to gain some local knowledge and wanting to fit in, I went with the two for one silver bullets. This is going to be interesting, I thought to myself...
I got there early and was hanging out with the guy who I nicked named "Trail Boss Shane". One by one the other riders showed up, all riding up on their bikes. We had an XR400, XR650, DZ400, some kinda of Chinese made dual sport / adventure bike thingy and Trail Boss Shane on his trusty Kawasaki KLR with dual saddlebags (An important feature that would later come into play)
Trail Boss Shane lead the rides because he had the most knowledge. He told me he had ridden from Flagstaff to Phoenix to Havasu and back on dirt roads. He explained that since his Workers Comp sustained injury fighting at said bar as a bouncer, he was on permanent SSI and had nothing but time to wonder the Arizona desert on his "dirt-bike".
"So what's the game plan?" I asked... For some strange reason, the answer didn't make me load up my bike and leave right there on the spot. I was intrigued to see how this freak show was going to play out. I was all in and I was very quickly not to be disappointed!
Trail Boss Shane explained that he was actually a human GPS. He had memorized every dirt trail and road from Flagstaff to Phoenix. His "Plan" was "Follow me". He said there would be times we may cross over the same trail or dirt road, but as Trail Boss Shane, (let's call him TBS for short), explained it, his GPS worked on sight. He further explained that he might have to cross a road or climb to the top of a big ol' hill, but not to worry, we would never get lost because if he got high enough on a hill or mountain top, we would be OK.
Uh oh I thought...
As we got ready to take off I noticed TBS did not have a helmet. "Yeah", TBS said, "the president of our club gives me sh!t about not wearing a helmet, but the damn thing just aggravates my Workers Comp neck injury" TBS explained. He said, "I don't ever really crash anyways". He chuckled and said, "hey, at least I wore my boots. Sometimes I like to ride in my sandals"
So off we went. TBS started off on a long dry, dusty backwoods type of dirt road. Before I knew it we were doing Baja 1000 type of speeds. TBS showed his skills by drifting the KLR 650 sideways through big flat sweeper turns. It actually was a thing of beauty. I was mesmerized. At times I was following Mert Lawwill and other times he had the full lock slide of Bruce Penhall down pat. Riding the edge of the road and making it look easy. Me? My little Yamaha 250wrf was struggling to keep up!
True to form and as previously warned, TBS began crossing dirt roads that looked suspiciously familiar. I could see what was shaping up as TBS drew a straight line and headed towards an extremely rocky mountain.
We stopped at the bottom of an old jeep trail that had turned single track because "no one dared go up it" TBS explained. "Get ready" TBS said, "if you tip over I recommended you go back to the bottom and restart your climb. We are going all the way to the top so I can get a look". And with that, off TBS went.
He climbed the oversized barcalounger of a motorcycle he was on with the ease, precision and grace of a Rocky Mountain Ram. I never saw his feet leave the foot-pegs. I struggled to keep up and paddled like a duck in some of the tight switchbacks that were filled with baby head sized rocks. When we got to the top and everyone had joined us, TBS popped open one of the saddlebags on his bike.
"Who wants a cold one?" No room for tools, maps, extra parts, survival gear etc , "I carry at least a twelve pack for rides like these. It's all about fun" TBS explained. We all swilled our beers and took off. We traversed miles of dusty dry rocky desert. Sometimes on roads, washes, double track and single track. Every 30 min or so TBS would stop, pop open the saddlebags and offer a beer. After a few of those stops it was just Shane having the beer, until he ran out. Then he started smoking some weed. "Relaxes my neck and I just ride better" he said. It seemed to be working for him...
We stopped after about two hours of riding and TBS asked me what I thought about the ride so far. I told him the flat dirt roads weren't my thing, but I had really enjoyed the single track and washes we went down. Especially the flowy trail we had just been on with some little rises that made mini tabletops you could get some air on. It reminded me of a junior motocross track I said.
"Ah, so you like jumps? I have just the place I want to take you to". TBS had a treacherous twinkle in his eye. He fired his bike up, dumped the clutch, spun the tire and threw a dusty dirt fan 30ft into the air and on to all the riders. Off he went. I followed him down a fast dirt road that rose and fell slightly, making lots of blind crests. TBS kept it pinned and as we came over the top of a blind crest he veered off to the right on what looked like a well worn in double track over a dirt berm. Clearly he had no intent of letting off. I saw the angle of the berm face but could not see the other side. TBS kept it pinned and sailed off and over the berm like Evil F'n Knievel.
Fuuuuuuugggg!!!! TBS just killed himself I thought!
I cautiously rode over the top of the berm to see TBS on the other side straddling his KLR and bent over at the waist with his head resting on top of his bars. "hOLy $h!t!!!" I said, "did you know that jump was there?" TBS said, "yeah, it's my favorite jump. I don't know what got into me" (I did, twelve beers and a couple of hits off of his mini bong he carried in his saddlebags). "I usually hit in third gear, but I am pretty sure I was in fourth". He got off his bike and checked the underside of his frame. He swore to me he felt the frame stretch when he crash landed back to earth...
After he calmed himself down I asked, "Would you mind if I took a quick picture of you hitting the jump? Oh, and don't do it in fourth, that was f'n nuts" I said. TBS said sure and don't worry. Third it is...
I bring you TRAIL BOSS SHANE
And no, I never went back and rode with the guys again. Once was enough. I check in on their Facebook page every once in a while. They're still out there wondering around the desert just "having fun" as TBS put's it.
The Shop
Luxon 4-Post Bar Mounts
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DeCal Works Huge Plastic Inventory of UFO and Polisport kits.
But I also have stories from Harley rides and automobiles.
Could literally turn this into a few pages...
The story was starting to go long so I left out the part where Trail Boss Shane stopped and told us, "if you have a problem doing something that might be illegal, we better not take this next section of trail."
It was a cow trail that went down into a deep sandy wash that was lined with huge oak trees, crossing back and forth over a shade covered stream. TBS said the "only" problem was that it went deep into a ranchers property and when the trail popped up to level ground you ended up in a big pasture.
"Most of the time no one is there other than the cows" TBS said, "but if you see a truck coming towards us, don't stop and follow me. The dude has a shotgun and isn't afraid to use it"
We took the trail. It was just us and the cows . ?
Super Hunky was my fave
Pit Row
Now come on Jake...you must have a few more pictures from that day. Post 'em!
It was kinda weird riding up to the Double D and walking in to the bar with our gear on and finding a bunch of legit cowboys at the bar. I kinda felt like a modern day cowboy with my steel horse outside. At the very least, I was every bit as grubby and sweaty as the dusty ranch hands seated at the bar inside.
They looked over their shoulders and gave us a hard look as we walked through the door. I was feeling a little uneasy until TBS walked in behind us and the tattooed weather worn bar maid yelled out to TBS in her crackly unfiltered Camel voice, "Good to see you Shane, you and the boys must be thirsty after your ride. What ya all have?"
I had the local amber on tap and bought TBS a beer. He had earned it. That was for sure...
This story is better than a movie.
I'm probably gonna catch it for this, but the guy's on disability and spends his days hucking that 350 lb. beast around desert fire roads?
Sheesh.
TBS is a guy who stays to true to himself, following his passion doing it his way. My respect for TBS comes from the fact that he truly evolved with no care of what the masses are doing. None of us are without flaws and yeah, TBS had a few, but with all the truly evil sh!t I see going on in this world, in perspective, a guy riding his dirt bike around without his helmet on after drinking a few beers isn't going to drag civilization into a deep hole.
In an odd way he gives hope.
At the very least, he is just a dude wandering around the desert on his dirt bike.
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