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I've never been divorced myself, but there was a time when we were 99% of the way there. I have two kids and it would have been a nightmare handling that. Your situation makes it so much easier for the rest of your life - even if you end up losing everything right now, you can rebuild. How old are you? I'm going to assume somewhere in the mid 30s if you were married for 8 years. Dude, if life is a football game you're not even at halftime yet. Go get 'em.
Be as civil as possible and pay things as you think you would need to. Be the good guy.
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Am I joking? No sir, I am not. If you love moto/XC, there's nothing that re-calibrates your body & soul like seat time. Plus you'll meet new people, and moto people are the best! Not sure how old you are, but it doesn't matter. If you've got your health, the world is your oyster. Don't let the wife, or the situation, define you. Just envision yourself at the track, putting on your gear and mentally retracing your lines while the bike warms up on the stand. Remember that feeling? The anxiousness, the nervous excitement, knowing that you are about to do things 95% of America would think are absolutely insane! Once you slip the bike into gear, life's distractions fall to the wayside as your mind's focus narrows on the task at hand. The end of a day leaves you mentally & physically purified, in an almost spiritual sense. Ain't nothing like it.
To recap 1) buy bike 2) ride bike 3) ride bike more 4) rock the world!
If under these circumstances $1200 presents a financial challenge, then the divorce thing is not your biggest issue...
2 years from now and this will all make so much more sense. Just ride it out, work hard, straighten yourself up, get a bike when you can, and don't look back.
Oh, and nail her sister too. Gotta do that as soon as possible.
I don’t feel lonely because I have a kid and haven’t had sex or been on a date since we divorced 6 years ago.
Don’t know if I will ever be with anyone again. Too much drama.
This is one positive. You are going to get to explore once the dust settles
Hearing about the work/financial situation. That puts a lot of stress on a relationship. I was married at 18 and believe me when I say $$$ were a issue when we were young. I never went without a bike/racing until I decided to hang it up later in life. If there was no riding I probably would have been gone early in our marriage once some bad shit went down.
Anyway who knows. Maybe you guys will separate, the finances will get back in order.... the economy is going apeshit, and maybe things work out in the end. In the meantime work on the hot sister (or any other sympathetic relative....sympathy sex is nuts!) or give Georgia a call. Over on the Moto board you should be able to round up her email ?
Good luck and hang in there
Prenuptial
In my case, divorce 1 (no kids, property, etc.) was as easy as it got. It still sucked, but after moping around for a while I got busy with mountain biking, snowboarding, and work. That helped a lot.
Divorce 2 (1 kid, wife managed to fritter away our property), was expensive (still paying “child” support for my 22-year-old son while he goes to school), but worth it.
She made her choice...Dont grovel, dont beg...get on with your life.
Buy a bike...even if you just look at it for awhile.
Add a few new friends and start making some great memories.
Pit Row
back to OP... sell something and buy a cheap 2-stroke and get some moto therapy in. best therapy there is.
This is a perfect opportunity for a rare trifecta
i meant i'm very happily engaged, and she's about 7 months along lol
OP, wait until the divorce is final, then nail her sister!
All jokes aside, when people tell you itl get better, you don't even absorb the advice because it's really tough to separate from your other half. In a year you'll read back on this post and think, "was that me writing this?"
It's probably hard to hear and you may not want to be told to "suck it up" but you do have to.
My brother handled his divorce this way ( no fight, gave in, played nice....) and it was and still is a disaster. She is trying to ruin him. It's really hard to watch happen.
Take care my friend, stay strong. Say a prayer if you think it will help you.
DON’T DO THAT.
Sister gave me great advice, “you won’t find the answer in the bottom of the bottle”.
I didn’t, ended up having to quit drinking before it destroyed me.
What was weird is that I wasn’t actually too gay-gaaabout her, I just thought divorce was such a failure.
Talk to Professional’s, you feel so alone. Develop good habits, and be thankful no kids are involved.
It gets better, but wow, tough adjustment. Been married 26 years to a real sweetheart, two kids.
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