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It hurt, but one of the strongest feelings was embarrassment. I didn’t know how to face my family or friends because I felt like I must be such a broken, terrible person. I felt like a total failure and so stupid. I didn’t know anyone but losers who were divorced before 30, and I definitely believed that if a marriage ended, then at least one person in the relationship must have really fucked up (and it appeared to be me).
Guess what? My friends welcomed me into their homes with open arms and took care of me. Several aunts and uncles confided in me that the marriage I had seen them in for my whole life, was actually a second or third marriage.
We didn’t have kids or own any property, so we just split the bank account and each took a car and I became very thankful that we didn’t have to deal with more. I started going to the gym more and going out with friends and doing things that I just wouldn’t have done if we were together. I traveled alone for the first time, and when a stranger in a far off land said “Congratulations!” to me about the divorce, I shook his hand and said thank you.
No happy marriage ever ended in divorce. It hurts, but now you get to grow, and that can feel amazing. When I met someone new, and fell in love again for the first time in a decade, it was amazing and worth the pain that came before. You’ll be okay, and one day you will see that it was truly for the best.
*A caveat to all this, is that change is hard. I’m in a long term relationship now, and her feedback about my behavior is starting to sound a lot like my ex-wife’s. Learning from your mistakes doesn’t mean it will be easy not to make them again.
The Shop
when me and my ex called it quits years ago, my dog of 17 years died within a month. it was the hardest loss i've probably ever dealt with. i wasn't going to get another dog but 2 months of being completely alone was the darkest times i've had. it was ugly for old peeler bro. anyway, i went and got a Labradoodle and i swear to God we are soul mates. he's like a direct extension of me. that was 9 years ago, he's getting up there in age but still has a good 4-5 years left. when he leaves this earth i'll be heart broken.
Pit Row
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