Dadisms

"75% of American are too stupid to vote"  He always told me that since I was a kid..

"Bring me another beer"

“Close the door, I’m not paying to heat the whole neighborhood.”

“If you’re gonna be that dumb you better toughen up.” 
“You can’t win the race unless you finish.” 
“Where are my god damn tools?” 

😆😆 just a few I remember from my childhood. 

If you can’t dazzle em with brilliance, buffalo em with bullshit. 

We will cross that bridge when we come to it. 

He looks like he’s been hit in the face with a bag full of nickels…..

Are you in my way?

Close the door! You’re letting the flies out!

"The French they are a funny race. They fight with their feet and fuck with their face."

Never put your fingers where you wouldn't put your pecker.

IYKYK

It takes more than a handfull of horse shit to kill a man. 

Wish in one hand and shit in the other, see which one comes first. 

Bad luck? If I fell into a barrel of tits I would come out sucking my thumb.

Worthless as tits on a boar hog......

You boys are pissing me off with all your slingin' and slangin'...   (anytime we were too loud or rambunctious)  

Wake up, it's time to shit, shower, shave, and shine......

I'd rather be shot at and missed, than shit at and hit.......

Hotter than a two peckered billy goat. 

My grandmother used to tell me this all the time. 

Great thread @MoogenKen! 

GOD DAMMIT, KARL!!!!!!

You must be out of your rabid-ass mind. My personal favorite 😆

That's a problem for another day

If the dog didn't stop to shit, he'd of caught the rabbit. 

Don't shit where you eat. (in relation to dating girls where you work or other places you can't get away from them when it doesn't work out, and other things as well)

First class doesn't get you there any faster.

Karl, did they also change you name to Jesus Christ?

Never time to do it right, always time to do it over - Anytime I was in a hurry to do something

Do unto others as you would have others do unto you - Me- Huh ?  Dad translation - Treat people the way you want to be treated

You have 2 ears and 1 mouth, why you think that is ? 

Whatever you do, be the best at it. If you're going to be a ditch digger, dig the best ditches

Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about

Eat every carrot and pea on your plate

On the fat lady across the street- Her ass looks like a gunny sack full of kittens 😄

Gotta roll her in flour to find the wet spot.

That, or simply "Dammit".

Only way to rebush a whore is, pressing a ham in and pulling the bone out. 🍖