Favorite sayings.

If you had a brain you’d be dangerous 

It is better to keep your mouth shut and be thought a fool than to open your mouth and prove it.

Slicker than hen shit on a pump handle.

It's not where you start, it's where you finish. 

Show me, don't tell me. 

“vicious triangle”

16 will get you 20 

It’s all right or it‘s all wrong

Well that went over about like a fart in a space suit!

Take her easy, and if she's that easy, take her twice.

My dad always told me that when I was a kid and wanted something 

Up shits creek without a paddle 

A broken clock is right twice a day 

No shit Sherlock

Ain’t my Bitch

Sorry about your dick (usually reserved for the Diesel Bros 28” wheel/low profile “off-road” tires, 3 foot lifted and dual straight exhaust stack outfitted F350 owner)

I feel bad for your parents 

Well, at least it looks fast 

I’ll bet that sounded smarter in your head 

Well, I’ve never done that…that you know of. 

Ask my kids this from time to time: “Are your arms and legs painted on?! “

My saying after the last few weeks of work has been "If it was raining tits as far as the eye could see, i could walk out of the shop look up and still get hit in the face with a dick!"

Even a blind squirrel finds a nut once in awhile 

I was born at night, but not last night 

Good from afar

but far from good 

If it smells like cologne, leave it alone. If it smells like fish, it's a mighty fine dish.

If I tell you that chicken's smoking, you better look under its wing for a cigarette.

You got a hospital bite on that son.

Imagine what you could accomplish of you actually gave a shit? 

The older I get, the more my favorite saying becomes “Thank you”.  

I’m lucky enough to exist around a lot of people who make my life better, even if they don’t always realize that that’s what they are doing. 

"Oh sure, that will go over like a fart in church"!

Life is hard, but it’s harder if you’re stupid 

Sweating more than a whore in church

same shit, different day

No pictures? Didn't happen!

Are you for real?

You're just making shit up!

Shakin' like a poodle passing peach pits.

Rainin' like a cow pissing on a flat rock.

It's too bad ignorance isn't painful. 

If it wasn’t for their pussy, they’d have a bounty on their heads!🤣

The youngsters at work, whenever they drop something, or turn a job over on the work bench resulting in unnecessary noise, I'll shut out, "BREAK IT OR  FUCK IT UP....it sure sounds like they try break things.

Fuck head

Arsewipe

Oxygen thief

You are a fucking mistake

are a few chirps I'll use to express my disappointment at work.

Nothing is personal, it's a continuous game of grabass at work. I like to use constructive criticism mixed with fowl language to make a point. The youngster don't forget after I've ripped them a new hole.

You got 2 ears and 1 mouth, why you think that is ?