Getting old

I'll be 54 this spring and I feel the same. Most of my good friends have passed on in the last few years. Both my folks passed last year.

I pretty much keep to myself here in SA. 5 day work week flies by and then house chores on Saturday. Sunday is a off day..early morning SX then a nap, then a movie or two...

It's depressing....

Hit 50 last year- my perspective on life is changing quickly realizing how short it is. I just don’t let shit bother me much anymore- things I would get worked up about when I was younger don’t even phase me. My wife is several years younger and hasn’t reached that point yet and so when things come up with our kids, family, and friends she gets irritated that I don’t have the same reaction as her. Not that I don’t care, but sometimes I just don’t. I have not lost many folks in my life (besides grandparents)..my parents are healthy, friend are good, but I know what’s coming..
 

That being said, on a positive note I work out more than I ever have, stronger than I’ve ever been, at a weight I was in my 20s, and riding and racing motocross more than I have in many years. I am not any kind of gym bro- but benched 225 x 1 for the first time in my life right after I turned 50. 
 

In reality, not letting shit bother me and taking care of myself physically has been nice..

Reminds me of the old adage, it's  hell getting old...but it beats the alternative!

I know what you are talking about. 
I turn 60 in June, and like you mentioned, I’ll remember something that seems like 2 weeks ago, and realize it’s been 30 years. 
 

I'll be 59 this Summer and I can sorta relate.  

I'm the 3rd of 6 siblings.  Lost our dear and funny mother to pancreatic cancer in 2002 at age 68.  Miss her everyday.

My father just turned 91 this week.  I have a trunk full of feelings about him.  He actually haunts me.  I have terrible feelings about him.  My siblings and I moved him into an independent-living facility last Summer.  We sold the cars, sold the house, in the process of selling the business property.  I live in Hollywood, but have spent months at a time back in Virginia Beach helping out with him.  It's has really given me a window into the "getting old" thing.  

I think he's pretty healthy for 91 so I'm having to figure out how to process it all long-term.  I cannot think of one, single thing I would miss about him when he's gone.  Not a thing.

I'm 65 and sometimes I feel every minute of it.  I can remember hanging out with Marty at Rio Bravo like it was yesterday but can't remember what I had for dinner last night.  

I miss the relatives and friends that are gone more and more but that has brought a better appreciation for those that are still kickin'.

I'll say this to the young fellas...never miss a chance to show your love to the folks that matter...the clock is always ticking.

I should add that being nice to the folks that don't matter never hurt anybody either.

It’s a short pony ride fellas.  Make the most you can out of what you have left

Im 58, and the thing that always resonates with me, is my dad saying ' it goes so much faster , the older you get' , which i just told him was bollocks, but jeez, wasnt he right. 

Everyone has to deal with the same shit though, people get sick, people get hurt , and people get old and die. 

We have to deal with our kids growing up, and their issues , and also have to deal with our parents getting old, and all that brings. 

There is a sweet spot in life , where your kids are away , and your parents are OK , and that seems to last literally 15 minutes, in reality i think we got probably 15 years, but by the time you realise its a thing, its already over. 

We lost a parent each , which awful as it sounds, is harder work than both of you losing one, but its only got really difficult in the last 12 months, with my dad getting Dementia, and having to live in a home, and my MIL being sharp as a tack, but struggling physically.  My wife went self employed to give her more time to look after her , her sister is a useless waste of space and creates more drama than any woman ought. 

But we all have that shit, some of us have health issues, that can suck the joy out of the daily grind, and while i am fairly healthy, i know there will be a point where that will change. 

A great quote was 'live every day like its your last. and one day you will be right'  , and it rings true, tomorrow is never guaranteed, but we all owe it to those that already had their last day , to crack on and make the most of what we have .  

My FIL was a healthy man who worked hard , he was a work colleague on and off for 30 years, and we had a good relationship , even though we didnt see eye to eye on lots of things, but sadly when Covid hit, our differing opinions meant we went a long time without seeing them, and sadly , i didnt see him until he was in his final hours, after an enforced stay in hospital, he was released home, but he never recovered, going from being fine, to dead, in just over a week.  

It hit my wife doubly hard, because against her better judgement, she took him to the doctor ' to keep him safe' in the first instance, to avoid an argument, and now she is the one run ragged . 

Luckily we still get to go to the races, which gives us a focus that we desperately need, and i think the last 5 years have shown that the only people who care about us, is ourselves. 

I have cut people out of my life as i dont need anything they are trying to sell, some of them were hard, others were easy, but now i concentrate on me and the kids, and the grandkids, and the few friends i can truly call friends. The rest i have let go, and with what happened through Covid, that was real easy to do. 

We are all 1 day nearer death, every day, but trying to count that down, is a fools game. 

Make a plan, even if its just in your own head , and do the shit you always said you would. 

And try and take comfort in the fact that everyone at some point has to deal with this stuff, we are not alone, we are all dealing with stuff we care enough to not share, because once you do, it drives every conversation , and nobody needs that. 

When you get to 60 the questions that folk asked when you were 50 are long gone, people are less likely to ask about your parents, for fear of having to hear they are no longer with us.  I do it , and and i know folk do it to me too. 

Its life, it goes on, and it will long after we are gone, i am just working to help my kids give their kids a nice safe life when that happens.

We are not alone,

I'll be 47 in April and lost my dad in July, he was always my best friend and the last few weeks of his life we called each other buddy. Everything the OP wrote is the same for me ,the places we camped as kids or stuff we did places went just seems so nostalgic and meaningful. I'm not sure a single day has gone by since he passed that I haven't at least got watery eyes when I think about him. One of the last things he said to me was "don't take any days for granted "

Damn! I wish I was 58, you're very lucky.  I'm 62, but  I don't feel it, but I realize I am. I appreciate every year I get and don't take them for granted and just try to live a relatively healthy lifestyle.  I'm at a point where I purchase some of the things I want like Dirtbikes with way more power than a guy my age should be riding in the woods or at a track, but surprisingly I still twist the throttle pretty damn hard for an old guy and it makes me feel young, while I'm doing it.  Anyways! ignore the bad and just appreciate every day you get, because you can't go backwards and try to limit the amount of regrets you'll have before we all reach that point that we move on.  I watch a lot of shows about the unknown and seen a few about near death experiences and I find some of the stories fascinating and it gives me hope that the energy within us ( Soul ) doesn't die with the our body but moves on to something else.  I've just think to myself that when my day comes, one of 2 things are going to happen, either I'm going to go on to forever sleep similar to what I do every night, but permanent or I'm going on one Hell of a Ride where I'll once again meet loved ones who've gone before me.  Hope they have some Killer tracks wherever that is. 

"' it goes so much faster , the older you get'"

The perception of time going faster is so true. I have a theory about that. I believe as we get older and have all these responsibilities, we organize our life to be efficient. So we do many things the same day after day after day. And the days are so insignificant they don't really get committed to memory. We don't do new and different things like when we were young. So when we look back at the month or year or years, there's nothing new to remember it by, it just seems gone. We need to make an effort to do new things that we have new memories to look back on. But time is short with responsibility and we don't do that. So we go about our days trying to pay the bills, mend the broken items, and basically get through the day. And then it's all a mash up of nonmemorable days that are just gone.

TM

Excellent point.

I am 56, and to think back on how many changes and experiences I went through in the 10 years from graduating HS 18 years old to 28 years old. Went from HS teen dumbass- to career, house, wife/kids (but still a dumbass). 

The 20 years from 36-56, other than the memories of our 3 girls growing up (cherish every day when they are young- you will miss those days) it seemed much "quicker" than the 10 years from 18-28. 

I am lucky my dad is still is great health- he came with us to every race this past year. Here he is my son, and my son with me .. I always laugh as I have to be the only +50 guy on the line who’s son is racing the 50cc class..

Plan on doing the same this year..

Just to make a point. 

I started to type this story with 'about 5 years ago' ... then remembered it was my first 50+ gate drop, so it makes our point. 

But it wasnt about me, more my lad, who races as well, but just for fun , as a novice. 

I watched his race from the top of the hill, and next to me is a guy who is maybe 35-40. His lad has a great battle with mine, which i think my lad got the better of towards the end of the race, and by the time it was done, we werent close enough to talk. 

Second race i go back to the same place, and he is there, i say that it was a good battle between his lad and mine, and he laughs and says ' its not my lad, its my wife '. 

So fair play to her , she was going well, he tells me that they both race but they have to take it in turns to ride as they had a 5 year old daughter and they cant both ride and look after her. He then adds that this is the first year they have had to do it , as her father always used to look after her when they were racing. 

I kind of had a bit of lump in my throat that she had lost her dad, but they still made the racing work, and how cool that was, and he adds, ' yeah her dad took retirement at 65 and bought a 350 Husky to do the over 60 class.' 

He was next to me on the gate in my next moto. 

You dont stop cos you get old, you get old cos you stop. 

I was lucky enough to race my dad, he started racing at 48 when i was 21, cos we had 2 bikes, and now i ride with my son. 

You have a few years to go, but its worth the wait. 

You  should work on quickness , I think most loose that more than anything.  Listen to this starting @ 26.30 for the switch on music & 27.00 . Even @ the end it’s killer.  Do real quick intense speed sit ups to it. Arms in the air behind ya & find the hardest angle that puts pressure on your torso. It’s a Great rush. .  I,m 57 since Nov 18 it’s just a #.  The retired guys at the y said we think your funny & like your high energy & your stories. But you need to back it down your in your 50,s now.  I did try & that is too boring. I never listen to anyone & they don’t know we can get killed any day. It’s my life & I live it wo.  Still hv a very high enthusiasm & hv as much fun as I can. Even tho I,m going through the pt & numerous injections again. That’s annoying but the clinic is full of people that had physical jobs that destroyed there bodies.  In you 50,s medical people don’t care about ya, it’s the system. Bizarre changes ovr the yrs. Strongest hhg rig in the world . You had to work your past didn’t matter. Like I,m a bball star I didn’t get special attention. Hell I ran a dairy farm as a 9 yr old while my dad is locked up in a mental institution. Like military always quit or got fired in 3 days. In 96 wotc was passed & there not fired because there a big tax credit.  In 08 trucking had radical changes , wotc is the biggest thing.  Us 57 + guys that know there shit r s thing of the past.  Where the only ones that can handle the most difficult stuff . A terminal manager will call me into the office. I,m thinking I,m getting fired for messing around with a office gal. But no he wants to talk about strategies of the new contracts. Because where extremely knowledgeable, calm, always use humor in stressful situations, etc. yet we hv to run 2-3 days to find an empty in Wi. & a few railyards because a military guy doesn’t need to bring a empty into a customer.  It’s total bs, we paid our dues they never did anything.  

Hey I looked up points & clicked on info. The race order on there was 50+, 125 class then 2-st.  Is that correct ?  

Amen

Life for myself has always been full of ups and, downs. Kinda like the seasonal changes throughout the year, I’ve learned to roll with them the best I can. I’m 46. 
 

Last year, pre-injury, I was in the best shape I had been in since my twenties. A couple years ago my uncle passed. He was my best friend. 
I took it pretty hard. After focusing on the loss, I let myself go a bit. Gained a bunch of weight and, felt like shit. I got sick of it. So, I focused on getting healthy again. I dropped from 260 down to 198. Managed to bench 345 X 2. Eating clean. I felt great. Then, I speared a tree and, now I’m starting from scratch after being cleared from the Dr. 

The hard part throughout this time (5 months) was realizing the good I have in my life. I have a beautiful wife who adores me. For the first two months, I couldn’t even shower without help. Couldn’t tie my shoes. Couldn’t cut my own food. She helped me with everything
 

Being a high strung person, I always have  to be on  the go. The distractions also helped me with not focusing on all the negatives. In between parts orders while rebuilding my bike, I was able to do a lot of self reflection. Over the years, I’ve had so many injuries. Riding related. Work related. I feel like the Tin Man rusting away. My time at home allowed me to see the good things I still have in life. My ability to pick myself back up. A wife who had my back and, also a chance to figure out who the people in my life were that deserved my time. It says a lot when, everyone disappears when the chips are down. 
 

Though I’m only 46, my body is pretty hammered. I have an appreciation for simple things. Both past and, present. Quiet time at home. A good meal. The approaching salmon season. Remembering the good days of 80’s and, 90’s MX before four strokes took over the world. It gives me great pleasure knowing the four stroke guys will know how us smokers felt when they get passed by a toaster in the very near future. 
 

Seeing things throughout the years and, the evolution of the world around us better or, worse is a privilege. Now, I  look forward to grilling with family and, friends. Getting back on my bike next year. Going fishing. Growing older with my wife. 
Refocusing and, changing priorities I guess is a part of getting older. I still feel like I have many years left. Many things to explore and, look forward to.

I just wish the good times lasted a little longer. The worst thing I ever did was, become an adult. 

My Mom used to say “Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end the faster it goes” 

Ride while we can boys...

After posting yesterday, i realized that next weekend's race will start my 50th season, i missed a few, maybe 4 , with work and kids and stuff, but hell, that went quick.

I am still friends with guys i rode with on that day, and when i ride my fresh build 82 RM465 in may, my combined bike and rider age will be 100. 

Still think i am 30.. luckily so does my wife. 

2024 marks 10 years since we lost Dougie.   If that dont make you feel old,  nothing will.

Carpe Diem fellas.

My theory on time going faster as we age, is that each day, week, or whatever measure you use, is a much smaller percentage of our life than it was when we were young. It’s a ratio thing. 

I read a scientific paper a few years ago that pretty much echoed what you just said . It basically came down to how many first time experiences a person has . Huge difference in the number of those during daily life of a 6 yr old vs a 66 yr old . New experiences/thoughts/ideas are what I’m after at this point , and I’m encouraged because I realize that my bullshit detector is much more finely tuned than when I was a young man .  Do we ever feel more alive , than when we are doing something for the very first time ? Live in that moment . 

Lost my brother when I was 37. I'm 48 now.

Lost dad 3 weeks ago.

I'm in the process of selling everything I know and am moving to the Caribbean (I can work remote).

I'm over...EVERYTHING. The rat race is over for me. I'm checking out and will watch the USA burn from a distance while dipping my toes in the Caribbean blue waters with a pretty girl on my arm. The shit we all waste time on in our lives is sheer insanity and it takes us all a long time to figure that out.

Dad died in 2019. I'm sticking around to take care of mom. I have so much respect for my parents I figure they are owed it though it is stressful and exhausting sometimes helping her.

I've just recently in the past couple months at 53 am starting to feel the acceleration of time. 

I could go on and on, but I basically share a lot of you fellas feelings as well as having a few issues of my own that I am trying to deal with.

Not to rain on your parade but if this joint burns...will you still have that remote income?  

I try not to worry about it because most of my retirement income is from military retirement and social security but it's always niggling.  Oh well...I've survived on rabbits, deer and fish before.

Better stop wiping then. Gotta pick the best of 2 bad choices. LOL

Im 63. Last year when I got on a league hockey team, Before the first game I mentioned it has been 40 years since I last played. That kinda hit me about time especially since the oldest person on the team was maybe 25.

With another group we practice 3x a week for an hour and half. I am the baby at 63 with the oldest being 89.  

Ironically, one guy I didnt recognize was someone I last saw when I was maybe 12 years old. He played for the Cleveland Barons in the AHL then later for the Cali Golden Seals in the NHL really good defensemen Wayne Muloin now in his mid 80's.   Life is a trip sometimes.