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Hell,i dont get high,i just use my hydros to work my twice as long day for half as much,legally disabled i might add,got the tag and all.
Physical disabled ,some would say mentally.
I always said 3 ways to kick, quit,die or go to jail,so you got 3 choices.
I'm still clean,longest period for long time,years
I was in deep for years, (Oxycodone, Oxycontin) Broke my back in 03, had the dreaded hardware and peace of my hip fused into the spine where the break was. Been clean since 2014 and have no inkling to get anymore.
PM me for my # man, sounds like you can use a listening ear of how to start this.
Seen it and yeah,had to try. .they get it,mix with a buffer and stamp into white pills to snort.
The mixin is where you can get a hot one and drop you like a tranquilizer dart. It is scarry shit.
But,unstoppable i believe.
Where i blew my femur thru my tib plateau my leg is half inch shorter and kicks out 12 degrees with bone one bone knee.
Frankenleg i call it,28 screws and a 14 inch L shaped plate.
Good times
I checked out a place today. It turned out to be just a detox facility. Im looking for inpatient. Im afraid just a week isnt enough time to really change my thinking.
Put myself in precipitated withdrawal again trying subutex and it was too soon. The only was I could describe it is having the horrified feeling of sittin at the window seat on an airplane and ya know its going down. Well, at least in that scenario, its over with quick, as apposed to projectile vomiting, shaking, shivering and feeling like theres a furnace burning inside you. Take a normal withdrawal timeline of say a week or so, and in precip w/d it shortens allllll that withdrawal down to about 8 hours. My room literally smells like a dirty sock from me being drenched in sweat.
Maybe its a good thing it happened. Cause after that, regular wd is nothing. Going to complete my fmla paperwork and check out another place tomorrow.
Unfortunately, there isnt much we can do from here on a forum because of the chemical withdrawls are so intense for the drug you're addicted too. You're chemically addicted to something you were already genetically predisposed to being easily addicted too. And it's a VERY strong drug.
Most addiction is a form of self medication by a person looking to cope with past traumas they havent still properly processed and moved on from. That doesnt sound like the case with you. But if it is, you're going to need years of therapy. Therapy is really tough if you do it right, but judging from the way you articulate things here, I think you'd do well with it.
You need to get professional help to get you through the physical addiction. First and foremost because it's dangerous to go cold turkey.
Lastly, please know that there are plenty of us out here that understand you are not weak. You're actually damn strong. Battling addiction is not for the weak. The constant failure and attempts to get back on your feet take incredible resiliency. You're stronger than you give yourself credit for. You're in for a long road but every day will get easier. Trust on that.
Pit Row
Again, im not typically a "rehab" kinda guy but its the last thing to mark off my list before I say that Ive tried everything. Im nervous as hell to be honest. Im hoping being somewhere that I cant just get up and walk out of will allow me to change my mindset. Im gonna do whatever it takes in there, this has to work for me. The thing that bothers me tho is I have a head full of doubts already. But I assume nobody walks thru the door of a rehab knowing positively this will work
Kevin David Kolb
SRR
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