Posts
10301
Joined
4/1/2008
Location
Thousand Oaks, CA, USA
Edited Date/Time
1/26/2013 5:37pm
Bored today?
When we last saw ___________'s Justin Barcia, he was off to the __________with, well, a smashed _____. He _____ a ______ really badly, and that was the end of his night.
Barcia's in ________ right now for ____________, and he called us with an update.
"I'm all good," he said. "Had to do a few __________ and things like that, but everything checked out okay. I just have a _____ with some _____ near my eye, and some _____ near my _____, but I'm definitely __________. I didn't ______ this week, but I actually feel _______ because it's been a long time since I have had ________. And we'll ______ today so that will be good."
Did Barcia ______ his ______? "I didn't even bother, it's probably ______ but it doesn't matter," he said. "I did the same thing last year at ________ and was able to ______ with it."
When Barcia was approaching the ______ that he ______, his ______ was ________ to the ______, so some theorized he had accidentally jammed it into ______ and didn't have the ______ to ________. "No, I actually just got a ton of ________," he said. "I was trying to go to the ________ and make ______, and it just ______, and I didn't have enough ______ to make ________. I'm okay, though, I'll be fine this weekend."
When we last saw ___________'s Justin Barcia, he was off to the __________with, well, a smashed _____. He _____ a ______ really badly, and that was the end of his night.
Barcia's in ________ right now for ____________, and he called us with an update.
"I'm all good," he said. "Had to do a few __________ and things like that, but everything checked out okay. I just have a _____ with some _____ near my eye, and some _____ near my _____, but I'm definitely __________. I didn't ______ this week, but I actually feel _______ because it's been a long time since I have had ________. And we'll ______ today so that will be good."
Did Barcia ______ his ______? "I didn't even bother, it's probably ______ but it doesn't matter," he said. "I did the same thing last year at ________ and was able to ______ with it."
When Barcia was approaching the ______ that he ______, his ______ was ________ to the ______, so some theorized he had accidentally jammed it into ______ and didn't have the ______ to ________. "No, I actually just got a ton of ________," he said. "I was trying to go to the ________ and make ______, and it just ______, and I didn't have enough ______ to make ________. I'm okay, though, I'll be fine this weekend."
Barcia's in Hell right now for smashing that turnip, and he called us with an update.
"I'm all good," he said. "Had to do a few Midgets and things like that, but everything checked out okay. I just have a Volkswagen with some mayonnaise near my eye, and some satellites near my radio tower, but I'm definitely confused. I didn't hallucinate this week, but I actually feel bummed because it's been a long time since I have had LSD. And we'll trip today so that will be good."
Did Barcia cook his meatball? "I didn't even bother, it's probably a cheesesteak but it doesn't matter," he said. "I did the same thing last year at Lilith Fair and was able to Jive with it."
When Barcia was approaching the buffalo that he loved, his lawnmower was word to the mother, so some theorized he had accidentally jammed it into Australia and didn't have the Ewoks to eat. "No, I actually just got a ton of Wookies," he said. "I was trying to go to the Bar and make whoopie, and it just exploded, and I didn't have enough sauerkraut to make pigs in the blanket. I'm okay, though, I'll be fine this weekend."
I was bored, and maybe hungry..def a bit deranged....whatever I'm at work.
The Shop
Luxon 4-Post Bar Mounts
$189.95 - $239.95
DeCal Works Huge Plastic Inventory of UFO and Polisport kits.
Barcia's in heaven right now for humping, and he called us with an update.
"I'm all good," he said. "Had to do a few hookers and things like that, but everything checked out okay. I just have a STD with some semen near my eye, and some KY Lube near my butthole, but I'm definitely super-pumped. I didn't cum this week, but I actually feel preperated because it's been a long time since I have had anal. And we'll fuck today so that will be good."
Did Barcia blow his load? "I didn't even bother, it's probably sticky but it doesn't matter," he said. "I did the same thing last year at a massage parlor and was able to screw with it."
When Barcia was approaching the hooker that he banged, his dong was bent to the left, so some theorized he had accidentally jammed it into her butt and didn't have the manners to apologize. "No, I actually just got a ton of pussy," he said. "I was trying to go to the sex dungeon and make sweet love, and it just backfired, and I didn't have enough rubbers to make whoopie. I'm okay, though, I'll be fine this weekend."
Barcia's in Mexico right now for gender reassignment surgery, and he called us with an update.
"I'm all good," he said. "Had to do a few snips and things like that, but everything checked out okay. I just have a rash with some pubic hair near my eye, and some Chafing near my taint, but I'm definitely ready. I didn't crap this week, but I actually feel bloated because it's been a long time since I have had estrogen. And we'll inseminate today so that will be good."
Did Barcia choke his chicken? "I didn't even bother, it's probably dead but it doesn't matter," he said. "I did the same thing last year at dinner and was able to play with it."
When Barcia was approaching the Badger that he Huckabucked, his penis was hanging to the ground, so some theorized he had accidentally jammed it into Ralph Sheheen and didn't have the candles to light. "No, I actually just got a ton of Syrup," he said. "I was trying to go to the back door and make babies, and it just slipped, and I didn't have enough pearls to make a necklace. I'm okay, though, I'll be fine this weekend."
Pit Row
"When we last saw Boner Boner's Justin Barcia, he was off to the boner hospital with, well, a smashed boner. He bonered a boner really badly, and that was the end of his night.
Barcia's in a boner right now for his boner, and he called us with an update.
"I'm all good," he said. "Had to do a few boners and things like that, but everything checked out okay. I just have a boner with some boners near my eye, and some more boners near my boner, but I'm definitely bonerific. I didn't boner this week, but I actually feel boner because it's been a long time since I have had a boner. And we'll boner today so that will be good."
Did Barcia boner his boner? "I didn't even bother, it's probably boner but it doesn't matter," he said. "I did the same thing last year at bonerjams and was able to boner with it."
When Barcia was approaching the boner that he bonered, his boner was bonered to the bonerest, so some theorized he had accidentally jammed it into boners and didn't have the boners to boner. "No, I actually just got a ton of boner," he said. "I was trying to go to the boner and make boners, and it just bonered, and I didn't have enough boner to make boners. I'm okay, though, I'll be fine this weekend."
Barcia's in a straitjacket right now for public masturbation, and he called us with an update.
"I'm all good," he said. "Had to do a few fart bubbles and things like that, but everything checked out okay. I just have a woody with some crust near my eye, and some queefs near my sticky fingers, but I'm definitely superpumped. I didn't work on my starts this week, but I actually feel Ryan Dungey because it's been a long time since I have had passed someone. And we'll thank my dog on the podium today so that will be good."
Did Barcia tank-slap his nuts? "I didn't even bother, it's probably blue balls but it doesn't matter," he said. "I did the same thing last year at Mardi Gras and was able to cold shower with it."
When Barcia was approaching the sweet piece of ass that he catfished, his adopted black son was screaming to the diabetics, so some theorized he had accidentally jammed it into the wrong hole and didn't have the stamina to finish. "No, I actually just got a ton of green apple squirts," he said. "I was trying to go to the shitter and make o-ring failure, and it just imploded, and I didn't have enough crystal meth to make coitus. I'm okay, though, I'll be fine this weekend."
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