Need your advice; parents

iamdustin
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538
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Location
CA
Edited Date/Time 11/18/2012 7:26pm
I love moto, it is my passion, i'm always dreaming about and and thinking of how to get better (probably like most kids). My Family doesn't have a motocross background, i'm the first in the fam to do it. My problem is that my moms really paranoid so she never lets me go on my own, I always go with either my mom or dad. I'd be fine with this if they actually would take me more then 3 times a year... They are always to busy to take me. I'm 17 and have gone with my friends a couple times but they found out and got pissed. I'm not 18 until august 16 so in the mean time I need some advice on persuading her to let me go alone. It's torturer, HELP
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Shawn142
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Burleson, TX, USA
11/17/2012 10:21am Edited Date/Time 11/17/2012 10:23am
iamdustin wrote:
I love moto, it is my passion, i'm always dreaming about and and thinking of how to get better (probably like most kids). My Family doesn't...
I love moto, it is my passion, i'm always dreaming about and and thinking of how to get better (probably like most kids). My Family doesn't have a motocross background, i'm the first in the fam to do it. My problem is that my moms really paranoid so she never lets me go on my own, I always go with either my mom or dad. I'd be fine with this if they actually would take me more then 3 times a year... They are always to busy to take me. I'm 17 and have gone with my friends a couple times but they found out and got pissed. I'm not 18 until august 16 so in the mean time I need some advice on persuading her to let me go alone. It's torturer, HELP
Do something worthy of their good favor. Trying to sneak around behind their backs is not that. This sport is expensive and time consuming, if your parents aren't into it there's not much advise that will help. In my humble opinion if my kid actually put forth some effort to help me out in whatever way possible I'd return it by helping with what they wanted to do. I know life seems terribly unfair as a teenager, but when you have a house and family of your own you'll see life is very difficult and it's not always easy to accommodate your child's hobby.

And your Mom is right to not let you go on your own or with a "friend" (who most likely isn't 18 either). This sport is very dangerous, who's going to load your ass up and sit in a hospital all night filling out paperwork if you bail and break a couple bones? Certainly not your buddy, as a teenager it needs to be your parent or something close to it.
Brad460
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Richfield, WI, USA
Fantasy
11/17/2012 10:37am
iamdustin wrote:
I love moto, it is my passion, i'm always dreaming about and and thinking of how to get better (probably like most kids). My Family doesn't...
I love moto, it is my passion, i'm always dreaming about and and thinking of how to get better (probably like most kids). My Family doesn't have a motocross background, i'm the first in the fam to do it. My problem is that my moms really paranoid so she never lets me go on my own, I always go with either my mom or dad. I'd be fine with this if they actually would take me more then 3 times a year... They are always to busy to take me. I'm 17 and have gone with my friends a couple times but they found out and got pissed. I'm not 18 until august 16 so in the mean time I need some advice on persuading her to let me go alone. It's torturer, HELP
The only reason you want to go alone is because you can't...

Even at 39, my dad still spends the whole race day with me and won't leave until my truck is loaded...I consider myself very lucky.

Someday you will appreciate that..
Drtbykr
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Fredericton, CA
11/17/2012 10:49am Edited Date/Time 11/17/2012 10:51am
As a parent, I say, do whatever they say. They might be over protective, but they know the world and at least they care!

My Dad would not let me race moto, it was always hockey, hockey, hockey. He even bought bikes for me for working for him in the summers and having good grades, but he would never let me race. He had his reasons, and some of them are good. I have a son who is 18 and thinks dirt bikes are stupid and dangerous.....he is probably right. Him not racing doesn't break my heart.

You have the passion and are almost an "adult". Study hard, get a good job, and then you can buy a KTM 250 XC-W and go riding and trail riding all you want.

My Dad died when I was 16, and for 36 years, I have missed him every day.

In the 3 times you do go, make sure you make it fun for them and you. Introduce them to a nice family, show them some fun things they can do besides worry and watch.

(Love, I ain't going work on, Maggie's Farm no more, ain't gonna work for, Maggie's brother no more...!)

The Shop

iamdustin
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CA
11/17/2012 11:23am
iamdustin wrote:
I love moto, it is my passion, i'm always dreaming about and and thinking of how to get better (probably like most kids). My Family doesn't...
I love moto, it is my passion, i'm always dreaming about and and thinking of how to get better (probably like most kids). My Family doesn't have a motocross background, i'm the first in the fam to do it. My problem is that my moms really paranoid so she never lets me go on my own, I always go with either my mom or dad. I'd be fine with this if they actually would take me more then 3 times a year... They are always to busy to take me. I'm 17 and have gone with my friends a couple times but they found out and got pissed. I'm not 18 until august 16 so in the mean time I need some advice on persuading her to let me go alone. It's torturer, HELP
Shawn142 wrote:
Do something worthy of their good favor. Trying to sneak around behind their backs is not that. This sport is expensive and time consuming, if your...
Do something worthy of their good favor. Trying to sneak around behind their backs is not that. This sport is expensive and time consuming, if your parents aren't into it there's not much advise that will help. In my humble opinion if my kid actually put forth some effort to help me out in whatever way possible I'd return it by helping with what they wanted to do. I know life seems terribly unfair as a teenager, but when you have a house and family of your own you'll see life is very difficult and it's not always easy to accommodate your child's hobby.

And your Mom is right to not let you go on your own or with a "friend" (who most likely isn't 18 either). This sport is very dangerous, who's going to load your ass up and sit in a hospital all night filling out paperwork if you bail and break a couple bones? Certainly not your buddy, as a teenager it needs to be your parent or something close to it.
ShawnI understand what you're saying 100% we are just an average family so I know financially and time wise its a lot and yes I understand its dangerous. My point of the argument is that I have a job I bought y most recent bike all on my own, I have a truck thats insured sitting in the dirveway, like I have the money to go do it, if it wasnt for them not letting me go i'd be riding every or every other weekend. With the danger part, if i break my arm wether my mom is there or not it's still goona be broken, if she sees me get injured its just goona traumatize her and then she'll be even more worried when I go. I'm also with 2 other kids who are licensed so if anything happened 2 of us could load up the bikes and drive the injured person to the hopsital. Whats your opinion on that?
iamdustin
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Location
CA
11/17/2012 11:24am
iamdustin wrote:
I love moto, it is my passion, i'm always dreaming about and and thinking of how to get better (probably like most kids). My Family doesn't...
I love moto, it is my passion, i'm always dreaming about and and thinking of how to get better (probably like most kids). My Family doesn't have a motocross background, i'm the first in the fam to do it. My problem is that my moms really paranoid so she never lets me go on my own, I always go with either my mom or dad. I'd be fine with this if they actually would take me more then 3 times a year... They are always to busy to take me. I'm 17 and have gone with my friends a couple times but they found out and got pissed. I'm not 18 until august 16 so in the mean time I need some advice on persuading her to let me go alone. It's torturer, HELP
Brad460 wrote:
The only reason you want to go alone is because you can't... Even at 39, my dad still spends the whole race day with me and...
The only reason you want to go alone is because you can't...

Even at 39, my dad still spends the whole race day with me and won't leave until my truck is loaded...I consider myself very lucky.

Someday you will appreciate that..
I do appreciate it, in a way. I have a buddy and his parents dont support him one bit, they've never seen him ride, they wont let him use there trailer to take the bikes to the track. I appreciate that my parents care about me and what I do, I just wish i could ride more then 3 times a season, and if they'd let me go with friends sometimes i would be able to ride more
iamdustin
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11/17/2012 11:27am
Drtbykr wrote:
As a parent, I say, do whatever they say. They might be over protective, but they know the world and at least they care! My Dad...
As a parent, I say, do whatever they say. They might be over protective, but they know the world and at least they care!

My Dad would not let me race moto, it was always hockey, hockey, hockey. He even bought bikes for me for working for him in the summers and having good grades, but he would never let me race. He had his reasons, and some of them are good. I have a son who is 18 and thinks dirt bikes are stupid and dangerous.....he is probably right. Him not racing doesn't break my heart.

You have the passion and are almost an "adult". Study hard, get a good job, and then you can buy a KTM 250 XC-W and go riding and trail riding all you want.

My Dad died when I was 16, and for 36 years, I have missed him every day.

In the 3 times you do go, make sure you make it fun for them and you. Introduce them to a nice family, show them some fun things they can do besides worry and watch.

(Love, I ain't going work on, Maggie's Farm no more, ain't gonna work for, Maggie's brother no more...!)
Thanks for the advice! haha yes dirt bikes are pretty stupid and dangerous but i love em! And I agree thats how ive been trying to look at it. If i work hard and do well in school i'll eventually have a job that will allow me to ride maybe even more then i want to now!

Thans thats very good advice i'll do that next time! Gotta cherish and appreciate the time you have with your loved ones
part-timer
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Central, CT, USA
11/17/2012 1:07pm
My advice (as nerdy as it sounds) - listen to your parents,study hard,and stay away from booze and drugs. Riding a few times a year is better than not at all.
scooter5002
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Nanton Alberta, CA
11/17/2012 1:23pm
Dustbag: This may sound a little harsh and cold, but I don't mean it to be. Their house, their rules. Live by them. Sneaking around is NOT the answer. You're lucky they didn't YANK that bike right out from under your ass for a month as punishment, regardless of you buying it or the Easter Bunny. Your folks only want the best for you, and while your mom may be a little paranoid, she has a right to be. She's your mom. Probably heard enough bad stories and worries about you. Don't worry, you'll be able to ride enough in a couple years, and you'll enjoy it just as much by waiting.
I just buried my mom at the end of September, and I think about the wisdom she passed on to me all through her years. Every day. Trust me. There will come a time when YOU will look back, as I do. You'll appreciate what she's doing right now, even if it is a pain right now.
fader418
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Lake Forest, CA, USA
11/17/2012 1:51pm
Shawn142 wrote:
Do something worthy of their good favor. Trying to sneak around behind their backs is not that. This sport is expensive and time consuming, if your...
Do something worthy of their good favor. Trying to sneak around behind their backs is not that. This sport is expensive and time consuming, if your parents aren't into it there's not much advise that will help. In my humble opinion if my kid actually put forth some effort to help me out in whatever way possible I'd return it by helping with what they wanted to do. I know life seems terribly unfair as a teenager, but when you have a house and family of your own you'll see life is very difficult and it's not always easy to accommodate your child's hobby.

And your Mom is right to not let you go on your own or with a "friend" (who most likely isn't 18 either). This sport is very dangerous, who's going to load your ass up and sit in a hospital all night filling out paperwork if you bail and break a couple bones? Certainly not your buddy, as a teenager it needs to be your parent or something close to it.
^^this^^
Roscoe33
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London, CA
11/17/2012 2:06pm Edited Date/Time 11/17/2012 2:07pm
The only way your going to have fun racing is getting your parents on board and at the track,
if you can't overcome your mom's worry about you getting hurt, when you do get hurt,( your racing)

the injury won't heal quick enough with all the " I told you so's" you heard from mom.
Steven_Perry
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Tulare, CA, USA
11/17/2012 2:28pm
Less than a year to go buddy,then you can do what you want to.
I told my boys (now20&21)you can do whatever you want to when you are 18 and can pay for it yourself.One is in the Army and just got back from Afganistan and is in Airborne school and my oldest is in Air Force boot camp as of 3 weeks ago trying for Officer(he has some college).
They lived 600 mi away with mom and we rode when we could when they would come down to visit.
Respect both your parents wishes.
Less than a year you can do what you want to.
Hando
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USA
11/17/2012 3:18pm
learn how to not get caught (get better at lying)

P.S ..being a good con artist and a fraud will make business success easier later in life.

Smile
MR. X
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North Tonawanda, NY, USA
11/17/2012 3:25pm
Dude ,I would totally grow your hair out so it falls over your eyes, paint your finger nails black and only wear black clothes and never do what your parents say , they don't know anything . J/K You gotta respect your folks rules while you live with them .
nb11
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Marietta, GA, USA
11/17/2012 6:13pm
You should be asking your parents for advice on this matter, not random strangers. Communication is the only way to accomplish anything.
chump6784
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AU
11/17/2012 7:54pm
If you can pay for everything yourself and have mates to go with then go. If your parents have no interest in moto then enjoy it without them. Yes your mother's concern may be real but you can't go through your whole life being scared of getting hurt. Seems to me they are making it hard for you to go riding so that you will lose interest in it. Sounds a bit selfish on their part to me. by the way I am a father of 2
moscrop940
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Temecula, CA, USA
11/17/2012 8:54pm
iamdustin wrote:
I love moto, it is my passion, i'm always dreaming about and and thinking of how to get better (probably like most kids). My Family doesn't...
I love moto, it is my passion, i'm always dreaming about and and thinking of how to get better (probably like most kids). My Family doesn't have a motocross background, i'm the first in the fam to do it. My problem is that my moms really paranoid so she never lets me go on my own, I always go with either my mom or dad. I'd be fine with this if they actually would take me more then 3 times a year... They are always to busy to take me. I'm 17 and have gone with my friends a couple times but they found out and got pissed. I'm not 18 until august 16 so in the mean time I need some advice on persuading her to let me go alone. It's torturer, HELP
Dustin everyones parents are different but the following helped me continue to ride when my mom was strongly against it.

First off I told her that I wanted to take riding seriously, and for me to do so I couldnt be out drinking and smoking with the kids my own age ( her usual response was that I shouldnt be doing that anyway at my age, but I told her to think honestly and realistically and that is just the kind of shit high school kids do).

Second you need to work your ass off at school and at home and prove to them that your serious about everything including riding. If they need any chores done around the house you gotta do them without a second thought. They are gonna look for reasons for you to not ride, and you cant give them another reason.

Honestly man if your parents dont budge then your kind of shit outta luck, but dont give up. My mom didnt budge for a solid year, but I showed her this is what I wanted to do and that it was important to me and I was gonna work my ass off everyday and finally one day she just said "o.k, go for it".

You wont know until you try.

Good luck buddy,

Ryan Moscrop
dcg141
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USA
11/17/2012 9:22pm Edited Date/Time 11/17/2012 9:24pm
Its sucks..I know cause my parents were the same way. Wanna know the up side..your really young. You have a whole life in front of you and alot of time to do the things you want to in life. The other up side is you have parents that care and you will come to apreciate that even more as the years go by. I now own a KTM dealership and race all I want. My parents still don't much care for racing but they are still always there for me..even at age 52.
FlaNard
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Layton, UT, USA
11/17/2012 11:30pm
Trying to get faster at the track when you only get to go a few times a year is a recipe for a serious injury. It's less dangerous if you get to ride often and progress naturally. Also, are there no tracks near you with workers who watch for downed riders? My opinion is, if you have friends riding with you who your parents believe are good, reliable kids, you are as safe as you can be. Your friends can drive, people at the track can call an ambulance ect. It sucks, but have a good chat with your folks explaining all of this, and listen to their concerns. They aren't trying to be difficult, they just want you safe.
dkg
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Rancho Cucamonga, CA, USA
11/17/2012 11:43pm
FlaNard wrote:
Trying to get faster at the track when you only get to go a few times a year is a recipe for a serious injury. It's...
Trying to get faster at the track when you only get to go a few times a year is a recipe for a serious injury. It's less dangerous if you get to ride often and progress naturally. Also, are there no tracks near you with workers who watch for downed riders? My opinion is, if you have friends riding with you who your parents believe are good, reliable kids, you are as safe as you can be. Your friends can drive, people at the track can call an ambulance ect. It sucks, but have a good chat with your folks explaining all of this, and listen to their concerns. They aren't trying to be difficult, they just want you safe.
Yeah, I got to agree with the above. Sneaking out isn't the way to do it. You sound like a responsible guy. I'd suggest proving yourself as you are doing, don't screw up in school, make sure the people you ride with are responsible and have that reputation with your parents. Most importantly, sit down and talk with them. You are in the age old issue of severing the apron strings with mom, so, I'd suggest working through her concerns and see if you can address her issues in a way that lets you ride.
11/18/2012 12:05am Edited Date/Time 11/18/2012 12:09am
Honestly, I can't imagine what my teenage years would have been like if my parents hadn't let me go riding with my friends. Now, we didn't hit the track that often, mostly trail riding, but so many good memories with those guys. Laughs, crashes, hillclimbs, digging jumps... good stuff.

That said, if they say no, do what they say. When you are 18 you can do whatever you want. I don't recommend ever going riding alone, but if you do the track is surely a much better place than the hills. It really isn't too hard to find people to go with though, every time I am at the track it seems like I meet someone who wants to go ride sometime.

BTW, the guy who said you need someone who will sit at the hospital with you and fill out paperwork all night... if you don't have buddys that would do that for you you need to find new friends.
iamdustin
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CA
11/18/2012 7:42am
Dustbag: This may sound a little harsh and cold, but I don't mean it to be. Their house, their rules. Live by them. Sneaking around is...
Dustbag: This may sound a little harsh and cold, but I don't mean it to be. Their house, their rules. Live by them. Sneaking around is NOT the answer. You're lucky they didn't YANK that bike right out from under your ass for a month as punishment, regardless of you buying it or the Easter Bunny. Your folks only want the best for you, and while your mom may be a little paranoid, she has a right to be. She's your mom. Probably heard enough bad stories and worries about you. Don't worry, you'll be able to ride enough in a couple years, and you'll enjoy it just as much by waiting.
I just buried my mom at the end of September, and I think about the wisdom she passed on to me all through her years. Every day. Trust me. There will come a time when YOU will look back, as I do. You'll appreciate what she's doing right now, even if it is a pain right now.
Thanks Scoot! was waiting for your advice! I appreciate it it helps! It's hard to be patient and wait but I guess I will have to
iamdustin
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11/18/2012 7:45am
Roscoe33 wrote:
The only way your going to have fun racing is getting your parents on board and at the track, if you can't overcome your mom's worry...
The only way your going to have fun racing is getting your parents on board and at the track,
if you can't overcome your mom's worry about you getting hurt, when you do get hurt,( your racing)

the injury won't heal quick enough with all the " I told you so's" you heard from mom.
Yeah I agree! I just gotta get them on board with me!
iamdustin
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11/18/2012 7:46am
Less than a year to go buddy,then you can do what you want to. I told my boys (now20&21)you can do whatever you want to when...
Less than a year to go buddy,then you can do what you want to.
I told my boys (now20&21)you can do whatever you want to when you are 18 and can pay for it yourself.One is in the Army and just got back from Afganistan and is in Airborne school and my oldest is in Air Force boot camp as of 3 weeks ago trying for Officer(he has some college).
They lived 600 mi away with mom and we rode when we could when they would come down to visit.
Respect both your parents wishes.
Less than a year you can do what you want to.
Thanks! Yeah I just gotta be patient for now! I'll be looking forward to it
iamdustin
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11/18/2012 7:47am
Hando wrote:
learn how to not get caught (get better at lying) P.S ..being a good con artist and a fraud will make business success easier later in...
learn how to not get caught (get better at lying)

P.S ..being a good con artist and a fraud will make business success easier later in life.

Smile
Hahaha thanks Wink I didn't get caught the first time and I still dont know how i got caught the second, but thanks ill work on it lol
iamdustin
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11/18/2012 7:48am
MR. X wrote:
Dude ,I would totally grow your hair out so it falls over your eyes, paint your finger nails black and only wear black clothes and never...
Dude ,I would totally grow your hair out so it falls over your eyes, paint your finger nails black and only wear black clothes and never do what your parents say , they don't know anything . J/K You gotta respect your folks rules while you live with them .
hahaahahah, thanks for the advice!
iamdustin
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11/18/2012 7:49am
nb11 wrote:
You should be asking your parents for advice on this matter, not random strangers. Communication is the only way to accomplish anything.
I agree thanks, i'm goona talk to her tomorrow
iamdustin
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11/18/2012 7:51am
chump6784 wrote:
If you can pay for everything yourself and have mates to go with then go. If your parents have no interest in moto then enjoy it...
If you can pay for everything yourself and have mates to go with then go. If your parents have no interest in moto then enjoy it without them. Yes your mother's concern may be real but you can't go through your whole life being scared of getting hurt. Seems to me they are making it hard for you to go riding so that you will lose interest in it. Sounds a bit selfish on their part to me. by the way I am a father of 2
Exactly I couldn't agree more! a couple times ive considered just buying a car and acting like a normal city kid but I dont wanna give up on riding,man I hope theyre not doing that i'm goona bring that up to them
iamdustin
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11/18/2012 8:00am
iamdustin wrote:
I love moto, it is my passion, i'm always dreaming about and and thinking of how to get better (probably like most kids). My Family doesn't...
I love moto, it is my passion, i'm always dreaming about and and thinking of how to get better (probably like most kids). My Family doesn't have a motocross background, i'm the first in the fam to do it. My problem is that my moms really paranoid so she never lets me go on my own, I always go with either my mom or dad. I'd be fine with this if they actually would take me more then 3 times a year... They are always to busy to take me. I'm 17 and have gone with my friends a couple times but they found out and got pissed. I'm not 18 until august 16 so in the mean time I need some advice on persuading her to let me go alone. It's torturer, HELP
moscrop940 wrote:
Dustin everyones parents are different but the following helped me continue to ride when my mom was strongly against it. First off I told her that...
Dustin everyones parents are different but the following helped me continue to ride when my mom was strongly against it.

First off I told her that I wanted to take riding seriously, and for me to do so I couldnt be out drinking and smoking with the kids my own age ( her usual response was that I shouldnt be doing that anyway at my age, but I told her to think honestly and realistically and that is just the kind of shit high school kids do).

Second you need to work your ass off at school and at home and prove to them that your serious about everything including riding. If they need any chores done around the house you gotta do them without a second thought. They are gonna look for reasons for you to not ride, and you cant give them another reason.

Honestly man if your parents dont budge then your kind of shit outta luck, but dont give up. My mom didnt budge for a solid year, but I showed her this is what I wanted to do and that it was important to me and I was gonna work my ass off everyday and finally one day she just said "o.k, go for it".

You wont know until you try.

Good luck buddy,

Ryan Moscrop
Thanks a lot man! thats great advice! That's kind of what I did to convince them to let me get a bike. I'm going to start this though and im just goona be persistent. Thanks again for the help!
CamP
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Colleyville, TX, USA
11/18/2012 9:30am
You can't legally go alone. At 17, you are a minor and no track will allow you ride without a parent or guardian present to sign the release for you.

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