Posts
12895
Joined
8/17/2006
Location
Golden, CO, USA
Edited Date/Time
9/24/2012 10:33pm
A Polish flight crew, flying into America for the first time, touches down with their jet and immediately goes full flaps, full reverse thrusters, slams on the brakes, and comes to an immediate stop. The pilot says, "Damn, these American runways sure are short!" The co-pilot looks left and right then says, "Yeah, but look how wide they are!"
Oh, I'm part Polish. :-) If ya' can't make fun of yourself, who can you make fun of?
True story: As a joke I gave my son, who's half Mexican from his mom, for his birthday a leaf blower.
Oh, I'm part Polish. :-) If ya' can't make fun of yourself, who can you make fun of?
True story: As a joke I gave my son, who's half Mexican from his mom, for his birthday a leaf blower.
The Lone Ranger replies, "Why that's my white horse."
The cowboy says, "Well, he ain't lookin' too good. You might wanna go check on him."
The Lone Ranger and Tonto go outside, and sure enough, Silver is leaning against the stand from the heat. The Lone Ranger thinks about it and says, "Tonto, run around Silver to stir up the wind and cool him down. I'm going back inside to finish my beer, and when I'm done, I'll come out and take over so you can finish yours."
Tonto replies, "Sure, kemosabe."
The Lone Ranger goes back inside and is drinking his beer when another cowboy enters the saloon and says, "Hey! Who's white horse is that outside?"
The Lone Ranger says, "Why that's my horse."
The cowboy replies, "Well, ya' left yer injun runnin'!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The police. I'm afraid there's been an accident. Your husband is in hospital.
A man walks into a pub.
He is an alcoholic whose drink problem is destroying his family.
Did you hear about the blonde who jumped off a bridge?
She was clinically depressed and took her own life because of her terribly low self-esteem.
What do you call a cat with no tail?
A Manx cat.
Why do undertakers wear ties?
Because their profession is very serious, and it is important that their appearance has a degree of gravitas.
How many electricians does it take to change a light bulb?
One.
The second shortest book in the world. The book Jewish Business ethics.
The shortest book in the world. The book of German Humor.
What's something that 4 out of 5 people really enjoy?
Gang rape
...it matters how flat you pound them.
The Shop
Luxon 4-Post Bar Mounts
$189.95 - $239.95
DeCal Works Huge Plastic Inventory of UFO and Polisport kits.
An Irishman walked out of a bar.
One of my favorite Irish jokes:
3 Irish brothers would get together every Saturday night for beers. Well, they all went their separate ways. One was in Australia, one was in Eastern Europe and the other one came to the USA. He found a local bar in Jersey and on Saturday night ordered 3 beers. The bartender gave him the 3 beers and eventually he drank them. This happened every Saturday for a few week and finally the bartender told him that he could order the beers one at a time. The Irishman then explained that it was a tradition that the 3 brothers would all have beers on Saturday night no matter where they were in the world. The bartender understood. Well, one day, the Irishman ordered 2 beers. The bartender thought to himself that something happened to one of the brothers. Anyway the Irishman drank the 2 beers and was ready to leave when the bartender, rather solemnly asked if something had happened to one of his brothers. The Irishman said "Oh no. Me brothers are fine. I'm on the wagon."
Bartender says: Ok, you can stay, but don't start anything.
When he arrived he had no money at all.
After years of hard work and determination.. he now owes £120,000.
- I have a problem with my wife, she has become so big and flabby down there
-Ok?
-Seriously dude, it really is a problem, she has become so big an flabby it hardly works!
-How bad can it be?
-I am telling you dude, it is seriously bad, she is huge, it does not work, I dont know what to do?
-So, why dont you just do her in the other hole?
-Now way, are you crazy? If I do that she might become pregnant!!
https://youtu.be/Tcwz8-EfFYE
Pit Row
I said to her "I bet you're hot?"
She said "Well, I'll never win Miss world but I get my fair share of cock.
Fair-play and good luck to her I say.
Ramadan.
Putting the slim back into Muslim
I was on a casual walk when I stumbled upon a Muslim, "Fuck You!" he said - stunned I carried on.
I then stumbled upon another Muslim, "Piss off! Leave me alone!" he cried -Confused and upset, I moved on.
I then stumbled upon another 5 Muslims and it was at this point I realised mabe it was time to leave the mosque
Black guy goes first and says. I want all my brothers and sisters rounded up and take us all back to our home land.
Mexican guy goes next and says. I want all my people sent back to our home land.
White guy is standing there and asks the genie... "So all the blacks and mexicans are gone?" Genie says "Yes". White guy says "Ok, I'll have a Coke."
dr. dre
Post a reply to: Racist jokes