Dadisms

Fucked up as a football bat.

He could wreck an anvil with a rubber mallet.

“Leave the thermostat alone, if you’re cold, put on another shirt.”

Its not for you to sit and wonder why, its to do or die.

"That's dumb sumbitch couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the heel".

You can't plug a hole with a ring.

Only from Motodrive. 😅

“Don’t just do it, do it right” 

"Dont tell me how to sweep floors"

"Dont let your dick ruin your life"

"Dont look a gift horse in the mouth"

"It builds character"

"I am the president"

“If it was up your ass you’d know where it was”

I'll start by saying when my ol man was having trouble fixing something he could string cuss words together that would make a sailor blush. One day im walking up the driveway and my dad was under the hood and he was going off ,in the middle of one of his triumphant rants . For whatever reason and I'll never understand why ,I reached my hand in the window and laid on the horn.  I never ran so fast and for so long in my life ,tha kfully he didn't catch me ,I didnt come home til the street lights were on that night.

🤣

A fuck up on your part, isn’t an emergency on my part. 

Your responsibilities don’t change because your circumstances have. 

^^^^ Similar---- Piss poor planning on your part, does not constitute an emergency on my part.

A phrase I use frequently at work. They don't like it, but proove able facts are difficult to argue against. 

"Talking just to hear your head spin"

A "nerd herd" specialty.

When driving through a stop sign ...

"Don't believe everything you read..."

Early morning on the farm “Get out of the truck and get to work. All I want to see is assholes and elbows“. 

My buddy’s dad to him (on several occasions): “I must’ve jerked off in a flower pot because I bloomed an idiot.”

I’m going to have this tattooed on my stepson. Half asses nearly everything and it drives me insane. 😂

Same premise, but my boss used to say, "If you don't have time to do it right the first time, what makes you think you have time to do it again.