Posts
1197
Joined
4/1/2008
Location
USA
Edited Date/Time
3/7/2015 9:22pm
With nothing much happening on the racing scene to talk about, here's a fun game to keep your Vital MX posting skills polished.
We all know "that guy," the one who's claims of moto prowess are, shall we say, "questionable." You know, the one that if you mention Jeremy McGrath he'll say "Yeah, used to train with Jeremy all the time. I remember this one time..." or the guy who claims to have been on a factory team, or to have gone for hookers and blow with ________. Let's all read what wild claims the loser BSer in your neck of the woods has.
In non-moto situations this is the same guy who'll claim to be a black belt, to have been in the CIA or to have been a Navy Seal. There's a good one, there have been only 2500 or so Navy Seals since that programs began, and as one high ranking Navy officer once said, "And I've met at least 12,000 of them!"
And if you can't think of who that World Biggest BS'er in your area might be, then it just might be you!
There's a guy I know who claims to have been "close friends with road racer Wayne Rainey. . He did know a lot about Rainey and his story seemed believable, that is until it came to Rainey's career-ending injury. At that point this guy's story switches to Bubby Shobert's, "Yeah, I was there at Laguna Seca," this guy tells, "...and poor Wayne ended up slamming into some a-hole who was doing burn-outs in a blind corner on the cool down lap." Um, okay.
We all know "that guy," the one who's claims of moto prowess are, shall we say, "questionable." You know, the one that if you mention Jeremy McGrath he'll say "Yeah, used to train with Jeremy all the time. I remember this one time..." or the guy who claims to have been on a factory team, or to have gone for hookers and blow with ________. Let's all read what wild claims the loser BSer in your neck of the woods has.
In non-moto situations this is the same guy who'll claim to be a black belt, to have been in the CIA or to have been a Navy Seal. There's a good one, there have been only 2500 or so Navy Seals since that programs began, and as one high ranking Navy officer once said, "And I've met at least 12,000 of them!"
And if you can't think of who that World Biggest BS'er in your area might be, then it just might be you!
There's a guy I know who claims to have been "close friends with road racer Wayne Rainey. . He did know a lot about Rainey and his story seemed believable, that is until it came to Rainey's career-ending injury. At that point this guy's story switches to Bubby Shobert's, "Yeah, I was there at Laguna Seca," this guy tells, "...and poor Wayne ended up slamming into some a-hole who was doing burn-outs in a blind corner on the cool down lap." Um, okay.
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ChadBroChill: so yeah it was just me n my fuckin homies right and i was like fuck this and hit this 3000 foot triple jump
Me: 3000 feet? You must have been going fast.
ChadBroChill: Shawwwww, I was like, fuckin fifth gear wide open bro!
Me: Really? How fast were you going?
ChadBroChill: Oh, you know, like 180 miles an hour. Shit was intense.
Me: That's odd, because you only have a 1994 YZ125 covered in Metal Mulisha stickers.
ChadBroChill: Well, like, uhh, you know, it's like whatever, man.
Chilli is a black and white Fresian bull, weighing a whopping 1.25 tons and standing at 6 feet and 6 inches in height. Abandoned by its owner on the doorstep of the sanctuary he lives in today, when he was just 6 days old, back in 1999, Chilli grew up to become the biggest bovine in the world, according to Guinness Book of Records.
Must be this guy ........
Mitch played the ole,"I don't who that is" card and then got really quiet.
It went sorta like this...
Kevin Kelly: Mitch,have you ever heard of Downtown Dan the Dirt Bike Man Aka Double Fudge Dan?
Mitch: (with no hesitation) NO!
Kevin Kelly: Are you sure? Heard he was going to be the next big thing...
Mitch: {a heavy deep breath} I'm sure. {then crickets}.
I couldn't imagine how many times an AMA national level rider, has his BULL$HIT meter go off the chart listening to a goof tell them about "back in the day when I raced SUPERCROSS"
check it-
alright heres the shitsheation....
So im out jammin in da dunes on me yz five million and I decide to clik it into 7th, i hit a fukin 500 foot dune and fly about 17 miles all da way to the salto sea where I land on the sea and hydro all da way into a bar. Beat all the bros down, took on their chicks, left da next mornin for x games and won da gold for best lie, er I mean trick. Next year I be rokin a nasa built stage 5 rocket powered fukin king a da hill pimp bike with 40 inch spinners and hydraulics too. all uz clowns best recoknize. n dis shit aint bs son
Had a friend back in the day that told everyone at school that he raced pro and would drive around with his bike in the back of his truck, and every inch of available space on his bike was literally covered in stickers. The definition of the word "poser".
That is always leaning on the fence near the starting gate,that is always telling everyone how to ride,while the are staging...
I swear,every track has one of these guys.
They always have stories and all of them used to race with either Hannah,RJ or McGrath.
Speaking of which....I do have a couple friends that are kind of like that. I hear them talking to people at the track , and i'm just sitting in the back giggling!
Remember Balaski's older brother at PIR back in the day?
Always giving advice like...
"if you want to get the holeshot,then you need a brand new bike,new bikes always get the holeshot"
He would always give advice to people as we were getting ready to line up.
Stuff like "you need a Honda if you want to win,Hondas are the best"
Just all sorts of crazy shit.
Pit Row
I don't know what it is about this sport. apparently every single Virginia amateur racer in recorded history "raced Bailey" and beat him once. But then they had the "big injury" and "lost their sponsors." if you really want a daily dose of BS, work in a bike shop.
Or people told me they won a championship at Loretta's, or used to race against Bubba/MC/Carmichael.
Another thing I noticed... The slower a rider is, the more people he seems to know/ride with/race with/etc. The faster guys don't give a shit.
Anywho I wouldnt say a word until one would come up and told me they would ruin me on a track. I wouldnt say much other then "thats rad, you wanna go ride this weekend, hit up glen helen er cahuilla". The answer was always the same..."O dude I would but I'm real busy this weekend"...It really never got old. FInnally one kid showed up to LACR (RIP) and decided he was gonna race me, and smoke me. Dude looped it on the start, endoed in the whoops only to endo AGAIN while re-entering from his latest get off. Not a single "Deeganite" ever asked me if I rode again.
O and a few kids put pictures of reed, carmichael, and stewart ( the irony in the last one is that the kid who clamied to be stewart was actually white)on their profile with captions such as 'the new 450" or "gettin some hang time". I hated being a dick but calling them out in class was a goooood time.
Best wishes,
Ryan Moscrop # 940
he was an ex paratrooper, claimed he was awarded the Victoria Cross (Highest UK Military Medal) when he served in the Falklands.
Looked him up on Google, no mention of his citation, so challenged him and he says he was seconded to the SAS out there and their names are never allowed to be publicised!
Total Bullshitter, an embarassment to all the brave men who serve!
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