Posts
1055
Joined
8/29/2010
Location
Loserville, WV, USA
Edited Date/Time
1/27/2012 7:33am
I wash my hands BEFORE I take a piss.
Fact-The dirtiest thing in a bathroom is the flushing button on a toilet.
"Doesn't it make MORE sense to wash your hands BEFORE you piss? So you don't get germs all over your penis? It is clean, right? You do wash it, right? So why handle it with dirty hands? And if you don't piss on your hands, do you really need to wash after if your penis is clean?"
A while later as I was eating my soup I dropped my spoon.
I flagged a waiter down and asked for another spoon which he promptly produced from his shirt pocket. I was impressed.
I asked how it came to be that he had a spoon in his pocket. He said all the wait staff had a spoon in their pockets because a productivity expert came in and found they were losing 3.2 hours per week across the wait staff going to fetch new spoons for patrons as clumsy as myself. I was now fully impressed.
My wife and I continued our diner as I happily enjoyed the rest of my soup. When the waiter came back I finally mustered up the courage to ask about the string coming from his fly.
He said, well, the productivity expert found we were losing 6 hours a week going to the restroom and having to wash our hands so frequently. He suggested we tie a string around the end so we could pull our dicks out to pee without touching it and therefore would not have to wash our hands every time we used the restroom.
Bravo I said, I was really impressed.
It then dawned on me.......how do you put it back in your pants without touching it I asked?
he smiled and said, well I don't know about anyone else but I use the spoon.
The second reason I hadn't thought of until my trip to Dallas last week. I was on a work trip with my boss and a few others and we were eating in this TX restaurant. I ordered the Wild Boar and out comes this big plate of food and it had what I *thought* was slices of raw okra spread over the top. I said "hey look, okra" and grabbed one and started chewing it up. I immediately realized it wasn't okra but very very very hot pepper (looked like jalapeno but was much hotter than any jalapeno I've ever had before). My boss got a good chuckle out of that and later in the evening I had several of them left on my plate. He got up to go to the rest room but before he did he mentioned how much he liked hot peppers. He grabbed one off of my plate and chewed it up. He also said they were unusually hot. He came back from the rest room and said he should have washed his hands before taking a leak. I guess he was in a lot of pain the rest of the night after handling his junk with the pepper juice on his hands.
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You get the feeling when wearing shorts during summer time..
The other dirtiest place in the bathroom is the door hand as you leave..
Billy, I have to wonder what passed through your mind driving you to share this with everyone?
The only difference between an engineer and a mechanic is that the the mechanic washes his hands before he takes a piss.
I believe the last time I was sick was about 15 years ago.
I wash my hands because of the awesomeness of my weener. To wash my hands after taking a pee is to say my weener is dirty! It is no such thing, it is my weener and it has served me well. I will treat it with respect and nothing less.
Pit Row
I suppose after that you called a restaurant and asked them to page your friend Mike Hunt?
(future HOF thread )
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