Nicknames for Coworkers

Gambler Dave. 

One of my favorites, Ol Gambler Dave as you’ve probably already assumed was a degenerate gambler. He claimed like nine dependents and got in a little trouble with the IRS. GD sells his Harley, to pay off the IRS. (Chance, he’s a UA Fitter).

Then something misfired in his brain. “Wait, I can go to the casino and double it, pay off the irs and get my bike back”. Yep, you guessed it no money, no bike, still in debt to the IRS. 

All these, same place.

"Inita" Always borrowing tools.

"Bumma"  Can I bum a smoke?

"Thumb tack"  Little bitty guy who wore a giant cowboy hat. 

"Deep Throat" Always hanging at the supervisor's podium having a coffee shcmoozing the boss. He wasn't fazed by it. Someone would see him up there and everyone would start shouting things like;  Get off of him!  Good God, give the man some air! Let him up!  He'd just keep on.

"Our little round man"  Self explanatory. Poor guy had zero ass, he just had a hole in his back he shit out of.

"BVR"  Overdosed with cologne. You could detect his presence "Beyond Visual Range".

We had a gal we nicknamed Dyson. 

My favorite coworker nickname story is this.

Work at a large shop bunch of Mechanics 24/7 shop probably 70 mechanics.

There were 2 Dave’s. People started calling them good Dave and bad Dave.

good Dave was hard working, super nice, not really a foul mouth, clean cut etc

Bad Dave a rougher character, foul mouth, he would have been scar in the lion king to paint a picture.

Good Dave ends up “pissing hot” in a random drug test so he got put on “the program” where he had to get randoms constantly to keep his job.

Good Dave's name changed to dirty Dave:

He sucked?

She never lost suction.😉

Good dude….just different…. called him ole pecker head until HR asked me to stop. Coworker my oldest son HR being my wife. HR shut it down when the coworker called his teacher that jokingly. Had to have a business meeting after that

A selection from over the years.

Poopsie- spent at least an hour a day on the shitter

Spud- head shaped like a potato.

3D- short for Donkey Dick Dan. 

Thirst-trap- pretty boy, liked doing selfies.

Squidward- talked like the cartoon character.

It's late, im sure I'll remember more later.

Sensor light…. Only works when someone walks by. 

This guy popped into my head……

Sip-Ahh

ZEUS - Zero Effort Unless Stoned

Lunchmeat - most likely inbred

"Geterdone!" and "Hero". same dude. When he came on the job, he showed everyone how to get it done so the other lazy fucks started calling him Hero.

Always hear, "Stand back, here come hero, let him get it done" 

Had a guy named Braden that use to work for me straight out of college. I was feeling out some paperwork for him one day and asked him how to spell his name. 

He talks slow, and proceeded to say B.r.a.d. Then a long awkward pause. I just looked at him and he looked at my confused. He forgot what he was doing and just stopped. From then on the whole company call him Brad. 

2-Stroke - takes forever to get started, and when does, he never stops smoking

Have worked with a lot of people that needed to FOCUS

F!ck Off Coz Ur Stupid

There was also a lot that you just knocked on desk as they are wooden - thick as sh!t

Obviously in the corporate world nicknames are strictly prohibited..

That being said, I do have a guy on my service team- his nickname is “Tiny” which seems to be acceptable within our business. 

Picture a 6’ tall, former marine, deadlifts 650, squats 700 and benches 550…Nicest guy you will ever meet…

We had a guy at an old job start and he went by “new guy” and then he got his cousin a job there and thought his nickname would be gone. Nope, he was still “new guy” and his cousin earned the nickname “new guys cousin new guy” 😂😂😂 they had the nicknames till the left the place lol

We got a guy at work we call willy Wonka cause he eats a piece of THC chocolate bar at 2 o'clock so his buzz can start the minute he leaves wotk.

This x 2

XXXL shirts are tight on him..

I think that’s aXXL. I was 283 in that picture, benching 495 in competition. Dead was 755. Squat only 450, because Army amd MX knees. 

 There’s a funnier story behind that shirt as it involves RC16, EIDave and Daytona. RC16 was threatening EIDave about going to Daytona. Dave was gonna bring me in his bodyguard.

When I was doing excavation work back in the early 90s, I had a guy working for me I called Little Round Boy, because he was. 

We got a Hobbit here, he is from Malawi and is 32 yrs old. He is short with a round gut and extra large feet, hence the nickname "Hobbit"

Our boss has orange hair and is always red in the face. He can't deal with the sun. Behind his back we call him the "Carrot"

Vivian is 33 yrs old and is over weight but extremely strong. We call him the " Fucking Mule"..or just Mule...need something lifted? Call the Mule.

Evan is 61, and is skinny like a piece of spaghetti with dreadlocks. He has a hit on his joint whenever he gets the chance. He is our master woodworker/carpenter. We call him "Rasta"

Medson is also from Malawi and is 33. We call him Medi or sometimes "Donkey"because of his extraordinary large schlong.

Then there is Clowy, she is a border colli dog and goes everywhere with us.

Gong is a fat ginger cat and he lives in my office. 

That's our whole crew here.

Fecal Fingers Farel. He never washes his hands, especially after using the bathroom. He's a disgusting mess of a human being. At 55 years old you'd think you would have life figured out? 

Vivian, "the mule" who works for us is like that. Dirty! Personal hygiene doesnt exist. He has really bad rotten teeth....I struggle with him. I always make him sit on the back of the pickup truck because he stinks the cab out.

Worked with a guy whose nicknames were Motor Mouth Mike and yo-yo. He wouldn’t shut the fuck up ever, and he must’ve been bi-polar, one day he’d be in a good mood and the next would be in a horrible mood hence the yo-yo 😂😂😂

That’s a winner mentality 😂😂😂