Please help...

Please stop with that talk. You have all of your motocross brothers in here to help you through this dark period.

Keep the faith. This shall also pass with time.

Your friend,

White Feather

Boom. I’ve always considered you a friend and,  always will. 

As your friend, I’ll say this. 

My grandfather committed suicide. He shot himself in the head.  Guess who had to clean up the bloody mess. Me. I had his blood which was still wet all over my arms, my hands, my clothing. 3/22 was 15 years to the day.

My wife still wakes me up while I’m screaming in my sleep from time to time. She still calms me down when I wake up screaming in the middle of the night. 

You willing to do that to your wife and, daughters? Are you willing to scar your family for life because things are financially hard? I offered you financial help. You said no. 

So, what the fuck? You better get your fucking head on straight for their sake. 






 

You have a wife and kids. 

Check yourself in at the hospital. 

Give it 24 hours.You will feel differently.  

This is hard to read, because we're all so damn far away. And supporting words are all we can deliver.

Vital is full of your fellow oddballs, that's why you fit in so well here. Your presence is needed.

Talk to your family doctor. I'm sure they can help you get help. See a psychiatrist. 

Putting a permanent end to a temporary situation is not worth it. Trust me. I've been there. It does get better. It doesn't happen overnight, but things do change for the better. 

Go for a walk. See a friend. Talk to someone, anyone that's willing to listen. Keeping your feelings bottled up inside is not a good thing and is not doing you any favors. You'd be surprised how good it feels to talk to someone about it. Sometimes it's easier to talk to a person you have no relationship with because there's no fear of judgement. 

I'd encourage you to call the following number or text.

Suicide Crisis Helpline (SADAG - South African Depression and Anxiety Group): 0800 567 567 (24/7, toll-free).

You can also SMS 31393 for support.

Other helplines.

Lifeline South Africa: 0861 322 322 (24/7 emotional support and crisis intervention).

Adcock Ingram Depression and Anxiety Helpline: 0800 70 80 90.

Police/Fire/Ambulance: 10111 or 112 (national emergency number).

All those services are free and confidential. They are there to help you. 

Maverick speaks the truth! Sending you positive vibes and prayers, Boom. 

Whoaaaaa nellyyy.... 

Dood... many of us have been there... some have been through farrr worse than you.. all the bullchit programming we go through makes us feel terrible.... such is life in a world run by baal worshipping pedo cannibals... 

Had a buddy in a bad situation years ago, worse than you fo sure..... I told him to go join the amish as literally a joke... but he did it.... I rarely talk to him now days.... but when I do.... he's stoked on life.... now he knows what's actually important... 

I didn't use to beLIEve that happiness is a choice.... but it is.... there have been pow's that refused to get down or feel chitty while in captivity... the human mind is very powerful... and in today's world... it's up to you man... to pull your own damn self up by the bootstraps... if u hit the self delete button, They win.... if you turn things around, You win.... f them bruh... you are your own unique universe... everything is a curve... what goes down, must come back up... you got this bruh.... just gotta wear them big boy pants sometimes.... 

Boom, I pray this verse resonates in your heart to know that you can get through this. 

"I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." Philippians 4:13

If you need money, I can try to help with at least a little bit if there's a secure way to get it to you. 

Don’t do that to your family. They are more important than any financial problems. Don’t give up .💯👍🏻

Boom,

Have you sat your wife and daughters down and looked them in the eye and told them your intentions? What do you think they'll do without you? I read your posts for help and know you need help, but you won't even let people throw a bit of cash your way to help. Oscottie didn't have people that needed him to care for them, love them, guide them through life. You do, people depend on you, Sometimes it's hard, you need to either accept the help you need or figure it out on your own (obviously not working). Leaving your wife and daughters without a Dad would be the worst possible thing you can do to them. Not only do they need you, they would live their life wondering if it's their fault you ended it. Is that what you want? Step up and accept help, real help.

Sorry for being so harsh but you need to dig deep, you have people that depend on you.

TM

Dude - you're one of the good guys and have a lot of friends out here.  100% agree with above comments, talk to someone, ask for help, think about your family.

Boom, like they say - offing yourself is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. I think everyone here is urging you to deal with the temporary one and things will get better. Get some help no matter what the cost. Think of your family. You can do it brother. 

Boom send me some info on you let me talk to some friends in discord and see if we can find a solution to get you over here.

Also as someone who has had friends and family fo this route your only gonna make it harder for them to survive. They need you fuck sake we need you. I'd rather send you money every week to help out then lose ya man.

You can message me anytime to talk. Hell ill give you my phone number. Lets talk it out and find out what we as a community here at Vital can do for you to help you. I know everyone here will drop what were doing to get anything done to help.

Please try to find some motivation to get to the next day, month, year. That is never the solution. It doesn’t seem like it, but there will be better days ahead. I have no idea what you’re feeling, but there has to be something that keeps you going, until you reach those better times. 🙏 

Boom you need to stop with this nonsense talk of yours. 

I can honestly say in my 67 years of being on this planet, nothing has been more painful than losing my loving Wife. 

Then to top it off, I lost my favorite dog Bailey as well in a 12 month span. This house is depressing without them, I don't even like being in it anymore as I have lost all motivation in keeping it up, my to-do list is off the charts, but I just can't get out of this funk 17 months later after losing Jan. 😢

And now, the current gal I've been dating for a year, has been diagnosed with early stages of alzheimer's. Been taking her to doctor appointments and the hospital and it's like deja vu all over again..... I'm really concerned for her and what my future holds as I have no kids and no family in Arizona.

Life can be unbearable at times I just try to stay as busy as I can doing things I enjoy. I've been playing a lot of billiards, 4 times a week I'm in tournaments and i've met a lot of great people along the way. 

All I can say is you do not want your Wife to have this pain, not to mention your children and your cats you care for.

Hang in there buddy, it will get better and try to stay busy.

I hope that things can change for the better. But please think of who will find you and how that will impact them if You do decide to do anything drastic. 

 I've had those thoughts years ago when I had chronic pain. And the thought of my parents having to deal with me passing made me hang in long enough that I was able to fix the issue that was causing my pain.  The amazing thing is that they both ended up helping me find a Dr. that was able to fix the problem. I have no idea what You are going through now. But I hope that posting on here was more of a cry for help , than a saying goodbye type post. 

 I hope and pray that things can turn around for you. You seem like a really good person and the world needs more people like YOU.

You've tried everything. You've worked your ass off. There's no logical reason to think things will ever get better. Your just done, toast, nothing left in the tank. Your family is better off without you.  I suppose you have these thoughts.  Ive been there my man.  First off, all your thoughts are valid. They are real and you dont just "snap out of it"like people will tell you to do. No, this is different. This is critical condition. Most people have never been this low.  I argue that you are not done. Reach way down deep inside and find the reason why you must continue breathing. You've probably been in this zone before and you pulled it off. I say you can do it again. Its heavy shit and I'm pulling for you. Please.

One of these days it's going to get better. Believe that. 

I don't know what else to say, except that you clearly have friends here. You must have others in S.A. You're a likeable guy and many will miss your presence if you leave. Plus, your family needs you. In a way, everyone in the world needs you, because your existence puts a spin on the universe that would otherwise be missing. 

Before you do anything like that read the Bible.

Boom- I don’t pretend to know your situation, but these thoughts are caused by a mental breakdown/episode. It can happen to anyone.  But you can also get help for this…It’s not the answer. Got to remember you’re here for a reason, don’t give up. 

If everyone around you can make it, then you can to. If it’s financial, start a go fund me and we will happily contribute. Quit being so proud man. We want to help. It’s not a hand out it’s a hand up. I don’t know you from Adam, but I will happily contribute to your Go fund me. No matter how bad of a storm, it will eventually pass and the sun will shine again. I’m sure all of us here can help you get over here with connections or funds. We can have a meet up and celebrate when you get here. 

^^^This!!^^^

Don’t give up on yourself and those who love you. It may take some time but you can reinvent yourself. But know you are also valued just as you are. Find a way to smile and be there for those who love you. 

Chin up, brother. 

One day at a time Boom. Get your mind focused on getting out of there instead of getting by. If your wife is unable to find work there, perhaps she could find work, working remotely?