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A man walked into a bar and cried
The toothbrush was invented in AR
If it was invented anywhere else it'd be called a teethbrush
What did the fish say when he swam into a wall? Dam!
What do you call a pile of cats….
a meowtain
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How does an Eskimo build a house?
Igloos it together.
Love it will tell that one to my kids in the morning
I went to Japan and decided to visit the zoo, but they only had one exhibit: a single dog. It was a Shitzu.
I went to a fight and a hockey game broke out.
How do you get 1000 Pikachu on a bus
you Pokemon
Y’all hear about the fire at the cheese factory? Only left was da brie.
Why do girls wear make up and perfume ?
Cause they're ugly and they stink
Why do they put it on at the traffic lights?
because they got no balls to scratch.
Why is Helen Keller’s leg yellow?
Her dog was blind, too.
What do you call a dear with no eyes?
No-i-dear
What do you call a dear with no eyes and no legs?
Still, no-i-dear
Ok this one’s a bit longer
A Vet and a Barber are doing a road trip when a Hare jumps out the bushes and they hit it with the car. The Vet jumps out to see if it’s ok but the Hare is dead and he says there is nothing he can do! The Barber say wait a minute goes to the car opens his bag comes back with a bottle and runs it all over the Hare…. 2 seconds later the Hare jumps up and runs of then turns around and waves to them both again turns around and runs off… then turns around and waves to them… this goes in and on till the Hard is way off in the distance…
The vet turns to the Barber and asks what on earth he had rubbed on the Hare?
Barber replies hair restorer with permanent wave…
Nowadays they might!
This was told to me by Gerry Sharp. He was the founder and ran Possim Hollow MX for years.
Three strings were walking up to a bar, and there was a sign “ no strings allowed.
The first one says he’s going in anyway. A couple of seconds he come flying out the door. They thru him out.
The second does the same thing, with the same results.
The third ties himself into a knot, ruffles up the end to look like hair, and walks in.
The bouncer says “hey, you aren’t another o e of those strings trying to sneak in are you?”
The string says “no, i’m a frayed knot.
Another from Gerry.
An old German couple were at McDonalds eating chicken nuggets.
The wife all of a sudden starts chocking on one, and the husband jumps up, lays her face down on the table, throws her skirt up over her back and stats licking on her ass
Sure enough, she coughs out the nugget and starts breathing
He stands up and say’s “by golly Helga, that hiney lick maneuver works!
Pit Row
Little Susie asks little Billy, "Whatcha eatin'?"
Little Billy replies, "Grapes".
Where'd you get em?
Off'n that dawg.
2 men walk into a bar…. You think one of them would have seen it 😳
What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground Beef
What do you call a lady with 1 leg? Ilean
Where does a lady with one leg work? IHOP
Lol...at least they had the doors secured. Followed one the other day...doors wide open...all the shelves littering the highway.
Now that’s gold 🤣
Love some dad jokes! I used to tell a bunch of them to my daughters softball team.
Why did the cat run away from the tree?
It did not like it’s bark
Where does the electrical cord shop?
The outlet mall
What do you do with a dead chemist?
You Barium!
Me too love a good dad joke.
i tell this one to my boys all the time goes
Why did the chicken cross the road?
he was looking for the idiot….
knock knock
who's there
The chicken!!!
my 5 year old laughs every time and screams out …. “AND HE FOUND THE IDIOT” and still giggling
What do you call a cow with 2 legs ? Lean beef
What do you call a masturbating cow ? Beef Stroganoff
What do you call a Chinese lady with one leg ? Irene
What do you call a swimmer with no arms or legs ? Bob
What do you call a waterskier with no arms or legs ? Skip
What is the definition of mass confusion?
20 blind lesbians at a fish market.
Blond girl walks into a bank and goes up to the teller and pulls out a big wad of cash and says I want to make a deposit. Teller looks at the wad of cash and asks the girl “ did you hoard all this yourself?” Blond girl says “ no my sister whored half of it”
Post a reply to: Cringe worthy dad jokes