The Seven Stages of Aging on Dirt Bikes

Hoov
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658
Joined
2/7/2010
Location
Manhattan, KS US
Edited Date/Time 4/12/2012 7:21am
I stole this from a friend on Facebook. It was originally about horses. I changed the words a bit... Wink



The Seven Stages of Aging on Dirt Bikes

Stage I: Fall off mini bike. Bounce. Laugh. Climb back on. Repeat.

Stage 2: Fall off dirt bike. Run after dirt bike, cussing. Climb back on. Ride until sundown.

Stage 3: Fall off dirt bike. Use sleeve of shirt to stanch bleeding. Have friend help you get back on dirt bike. Take two Advil and apply ice packs when you get home. Ride next day.

State 4: Fall off dirt bike. Refuse advice to call ambulance; drive self to urgent care clinic. Entertain nursing staff with tales of previous daredevil stunts on dirt bikes. Back to riding before cast comes off.

Stage 5: Fall off dirt bike. Temporarily forget names of children and name of spouse. Flirt shamelessly with paramedics when they arrive. Spend week in hospital while titanium pins are screwed in place. Start riding again before doctor gives official okay.

Stage 6: Fall off dirt bike. Fail to see any humor when hunky paramedic says, “You again?” Gain firsthand knowledge of advances in medical technology thanks to stint in ICU. Convince self that permanent limp isn’t that noticeable. Promise spouse you’ll give up riding. One week later purchase older, slower, shorter dirt bike.

Stage 7: Slip off dirt bike. Relieved when artificial joints and implanted medical devices seem unaffected. Tell the spouse that scrapes and bruises are due to gardening accident. Pretend you don’t see said spouse roll eyes and mutter as she walks away.

What stage are you at?
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WhKnuckle
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7327
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7/17/2007
Location
TX US
4/11/2012 4:43pm
Between 6 and 7. And I ain't too happy about it.
bll
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89
Joined
7/23/2008
Location
Atlanta, GA US
4/11/2012 4:48pm
man i am at stage seven and its keeping me up at night.

one month ago i fractured a couple of ribs on a crash i have no idea how happened. lost the front tire and went chad reed style over the jump minus the bike

rode again this weekend becuase the ribs felt ok. first 30 seconds on the track some freaking dipshit grabs a handful of throttle, looses contol of his ktm and takes us both out in the air. hadn't even done a 1/4 of a lap yet

one hour later i had a wreck i probably shouldn't have walked away from. landed on a haybail because the wind blew me into it.

these are hard to say they were my fault, but i did and do put myself in the position for this shit to happen to me.

.

so what am i doing?

buying a shit pile of new safety gear, rebuilding the bike and i guess i'll be back out there but i've noticed this little voice is starting to talk to me. i am 41 and have been riding since '75, i have a wife and kid, its in my blood but at the same time my life isn't about me anymore.
se7enmx
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519
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8/16/2006
Location
Monument, CO US
4/11/2012 4:52pm
I'm at Stage 8. With age comes the cage! Going to add a couple of wheels and doors with a 5-point harness. Still sneak out on the 450 though. Guess Stage 7 on the dirt bike.
Hoov
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658
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2/7/2010
Location
Manhattan, KS US
4/11/2012 4:58pm
I have a pretty nice YZ450F and I've been waiting for my aches and pains to go away so I can go ride it. I've been waiting 2 years now and I'm starting to think it aint gonna happen. I am NOT GOING TO SELL IT!!!! I swear I'll mount that sucker on the wall of my garage as art first!

The Shop

roughneck
Posts
436
Joined
1/22/2010
Location
Jefferson, OR US
4/11/2012 5:08pm
Iam at stage 10 when it comes out..Been there done that and ONLY throw a leg over my Son's bike to start and warm it up before his moto.. Once I got to old to race I restored a 73 honda elsee and raced vintage..its sooooo hard to stop..so I guess stage 10 is.....done racing!
Dozer
Posts
85
Joined
5/24/2010
Location
US
4/11/2012 6:56pm
Stage 11: On a first name basis with chiropractor at this point. Buy a bike with electric start and begin "racing" timed events (Enduro). Still wearing 15 yr old repaired Alpinestars.

Stage 25: Grow a gray goatee, buy a HD Geezerglide and do poker runs. Walk with a limp into all the Golden Corral restaurants you ride to.
Highsider
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7679
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8/15/2006
Location
Way Toasty, IA US
4/11/2012 7:02pm Edited Date/Time 4/11/2012 7:03pm
Postponing Stages 5, 6, 7 as many years as possible.
4/11/2012 7:06pm
Haha - nice one. Stage 5 here.....with no intention of moving on! Smile
4/11/2012 7:07pm
at the age of 37 i am about at stage 2 1/2

was at a track yesterday that was open from 10am to 10pm and rode damn near each session. pain in my neck and shoulder are killing me today but i will be back out thursday.

doesnt help my 10 year old was the last the last one on the track and the owner damn near had to turn the lights off to get him off the track.
Hoov
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Location
Manhattan, KS US
4/11/2012 7:12pm
at the age of 37 i am about at stage 2 1/2 was at a track yesterday that was open from 10am to 10pm and rode...
at the age of 37 i am about at stage 2 1/2

was at a track yesterday that was open from 10am to 10pm and rode damn near each session. pain in my neck and shoulder are killing me today but i will be back out thursday.

doesnt help my 10 year old was the last the last one on the track and the owner damn near had to turn the lights off to get him off the track.
The days you are living are fleeting and precious. Enjoy every moment Smile
7I3N
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Location
Moto Paradise, UT US
4/11/2012 7:19pm
I really don't see myself on that list anywhere. I don't fall off often enough. Wisdom and judgement overcame ego and enthusiasm many years ago.
4/11/2012 7:23pm
7I3N wrote:
I really don't see myself on that list anywhere. I don't fall off often enough. Wisdom and judgement overcame ego and enthusiasm many years ago.
well where the hell do you find this wisdom and judgement cause i might just trade some of my pride for it.
7I3N
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Location
Moto Paradise, UT US
4/11/2012 7:25pm
7I3N wrote:
I really don't see myself on that list anywhere. I don't fall off often enough. Wisdom and judgement overcame ego and enthusiasm many years ago.
well where the hell do you find this wisdom and judgement cause i might just trade some of my pride for it.
Ironically, you find it by falling off a lot. Laughing
berniepiet
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526
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12/23/2009
Location
Atlanta, GA US
4/11/2012 7:29pm
7I3N wrote:
I really don't see myself on that list anywhere. I don't fall off often enough. Wisdom and judgement overcame ego and enthusiasm many years ago.
I hate you! Angry

Really I guess I am just jealous because I am not as smart as you.Sad

This cast is starting to itch and I have to wear it for 6 more weeks!!!!Woohoo
4/11/2012 7:36pm
at the age of 37 i am about at stage 2 1/2 was at a track yesterday that was open from 10am to 10pm and rode...
at the age of 37 i am about at stage 2 1/2

was at a track yesterday that was open from 10am to 10pm and rode damn near each session. pain in my neck and shoulder are killing me today but i will be back out thursday.

doesnt help my 10 year old was the last the last one on the track and the owner damn near had to turn the lights off to get him off the track.
Hoov wrote:
The days you are living are fleeting and precious. Enjoy every moment Smile
yes i know but at least now i know what the hell im asking my kid to do. it really changed my view on things.
im not gonna stand there and give him the air throttle anymore.
Whorehay
Posts
72
Joined
4/2/2012
Location
San Diego, CA US
4/11/2012 9:21pm
yer not a real dirtbiker if you leave stages 3-5.... thats where the good times are.
ocscottie
Posts
69092
Joined
8/16/2006
Location
Redding, CA US
4/11/2012 9:30pm
Im at the final stage, where even though it was taken from you, it lives in your blood until the day you die, and still love it as much as the first day you started.
Tim507
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3475
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6/8/2010
Location
Oregon City, OR US
4/11/2012 9:31pm
According to this list I am well into level 7. After 43 years of racing I clearly have some titanium implantsSad . This year I am stepping up and doing more racing than I have in the last few years. My goal is the Vet Championships at GH in November. That said I ride very aware that it is not the crash, but the sudden stop that does the most damage. After years of racing I can feel the stop just by watching or thinking about it. The challenge is to trust your skills, ride with in your limits and let the adrenaline flow at a rate that is acceptable to a old man. Gotta love this sportSmile
tireguy111
Posts
266
Joined
11/13/2011
Location
San Pedro, CA US
4/11/2012 9:47pm
Lets see...23 surgeries, needing #24 and #25 before I can get back to work, I am well past #7 on your chart....................................
c3011
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630
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4/1/2008
Location
Perrysburg, OH US
4/12/2012 5:10am
Stage 6.
tbanks
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5/28/2011
Location
Great Mills, MD US
4/12/2012 5:27am
Stage 4
Hoov
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658
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Manhattan, KS US
4/12/2012 5:29am
ocscottie wrote:
Im at the [i]final stage,[/i] where even though it was taken from you, it lives in your blood until the day you die, and still love...
Im at the final stage, where even though it was taken from you, it lives in your blood until the day you die, and still love it as much as the first day you started.
scottie, I agree, there is an 8th stage missing from the list. I'm there with ya buddy! Wink
Highsider
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7679
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Location
Way Toasty, IA US
4/12/2012 5:43am
Good posts, Tim & scottie.
bultokid
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2133
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8/13/2007
Location
Houston, TX US
4/12/2012 7:21am
I've never noticed any "hunky" paramedics......not there's anything wrong with that.

Switched to vintage/evo in '95, goal is to make it to riding at 70....21 years to go. Sold my modern bikes, there's a reason so many guys 40+ are getting killed on the 450s

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