Posts
186
Joined
7/24/2008
Location
Fresno, CA
US
Edited Date/Time
1/25/2012 11:59am
I had to start a blog for school and decided what better than moto. So here goes, be easy on me...lol.
I will do one for each race. I am not sure who will be grading me harded, my teacher or this board.
offroadtoday.blogspot.com/
I will do one for each race. I am not sure who will be grading me harded, my teacher or this board.
offroadtoday.blogspot.com/
Blog.
"I will do one for each race. " Do what? What is a "One?"
"I will write a blog for each race I compete in." would be an alternative, One is a number. you can not "Do one." Sentence structure is needed. Your teachers should be fired.
Just razzin ya. Good on ya for doing it.
The Shop
Harder. Check typos also. The "D" is pretty close to the "R" so you can blame that typo on a fat finger.
Where someone reports on the news!
Um....
"You know every weekend I find myself pulling for the Jason because I like the spunk he brings to the series and to watch Dungey react. I think the current "J-Law" image you see these is probably a more of him trying to be something that the public is making him, maybe a little Tyler Evans?" Huh?In English por favor?
"Also props to Josh Grant on his holeshots. He seems to have that that Donnie "
Just giving you a hard time. But if you want people to read your stuff,you will want to pay more attention to details. Threads on here are different than blogs or mag pieces. Opinions are just opinions but the way they are stated can make all the difference. Keep up the writing,and we'll keep reading. Like Tiki said,good on ya for doing it.
Partnership For Johnson Valley hosts meeting with local businesses and Military representatives from Twentynine Palms
What was to be a routine meeting to discuss the proposed expansion of the Twentynine Palms MCAGCC chaired by Harry Baker turned into an emotional discussion about the economic impacts the military's proposed expansion would have in Lucerne, Johnson, Yucca Valley and surrounding communities if tourism was removed from the region.
"This is a Route 66 scenario" said one of the business owners concerned about local impacts on tourism that could turn our communities into ghost towns.
Ed Waldheim, President of the California Trail Users Coalition and a Director of the Partnership, was visibly shaken and genuinely concerned that the emotion of these local retailers could never be channeled through typical scoping methods. Range Expansion Program Manager Joe Ross, assured us he would relay this overwhelming concern demonstrated by local business owners to the upper military brass and that every comment carries weight. He noted that socioeconomics will be one of many important items to be fully analyzed in the Environmental Impact Statement (EIS).
One very important key element discussed was the volume of scoping comments that have been received so far by the Marines. As of today, just under 900 Emails and about 500 hard comment letters have been received. This number of comment letters to the military is disappointingly low.
The Partnership is urging the public to send letters to the military regarding this issue. The more the better. Unique comments and ideas are openly welcome from all types of tourists, multiple users and local residents. All substantive comments that are received will be incorporated into the Draft EIS, scheduled for release in spring 2010.
Comments can be as simple as one sentence, or as many words as you would like. THE DEADLINE FOR SUBMITTING COMMENTS IS JAN 31, 2009.
Download comment form here http://pfjv.org/Mcom.pdf
Comments may be submitted in writing by sending a letter to:
Mr. Joe Ross, Project Manager, 29Palms Proposed Training
Land/Airspace Acquisition Project, MAGTFTC/MCAGCC,
Bldg. 1554, Box 788104, Twentynine Palms, CA 92278-8104;
by an e-mail to SMBPLMSWEBPAO@usmc.mil ;
or by voice mail at 760-830-3764
All meetings of the PFJV are open to the public, and the military is regularly invited and in attendance. Harry Baker said, "I've been very gratified that Marine Corps representatives accept our invitations and take time out of their busy schedules to attend. They have shown an impressive willingness to be open, honest and listen to all stakeholder concerns during their planning process."
About The Partnership for Johnson Valley: The leadership of the Partnership For Johnson Valley has been cooperatively working with the military and the affected Stakeholders in an effort to explore alternatives to the proposed land expansion. The PFJV is a division of the 501(c)3 California Trail Users Coalition. The Mission of the Partnership is to unite the many people who enjoy the diverse activities available in the multiple-use open access area of Johnson Valley. The Partnership’s charter is to promote responsible recreation and the use of desert resources through conservation and education. The goal of the Partnership is to ensure public open-access to the area in the present, and for future generations who Live, Work, and Recreate in Johnson Valley. For more information and updates, please visit www.PFJV.org
"Canard decided to try and ride through Michael Hall and in the process pulled a Mary Lou Retton into the backside of the berm and Jason Lawrence continued his streak of silly little mistakes that cost him his championship and possibly his career, while Dungey got right back on form."
The Mary Lou Retton reference was creative. But you ruined the punch line by cluttering it with too many words and letting the next sentence tag along for the ride. Keep your thoughts and sentences concise and they'll have more impact.
:thumpertalkhighfive:
I have been doing freelance stuff for a few years now so here is my advice to you;
1.) First off, don't get discouraged it takes practice just like anything else.
2.) Proof your stuff at least twice, run it through spellcheck and then re-read it again to make sure you are not using words that are spelled correctly but used improperly.
Here is an example from your story;
"Well Phoenix came and past"....it should read "Well Phoenix came and passed."
3.) Read as many stories as you can to get a feel for how other people turn a phrase, it will keep you from repeating yourself from story to story.
4.) Try not to use phrases that sound good when spoken but don't read well, here is an example from your story;
"As for the guys who actually rode in the race, well what can you say other than "de de de",
That Carlos Mencia routine may sound funny to you but it doesn't read funny.
5.) Once again, keep writing! It will get easier and your stuff will get better as you go.
Here is my blog if you want to take a peek.
http://mxandlife.blogspot.com/
Good luck, hope this helps.
Pit Row
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