A lifelong friend who lives in CO calls me last night and says he drove all the way to NC to see me. Says he's a mile away. He never showed up so I call him. A cop answers and says he's in Iowa. He's been showing signs of cognitive impairment for years but this is over the top. So my friend is 62 years old, has a job but lives in his car, 2000 miles away from home with no family to speak of, and is 100 % early dementia. I'm disabled barely surviving on disability, so there's only so much I can do. My question is this. What happens to people like this? Is this the face of homelessness? Is that how it starts? Maybe a better question is, can anybody offer me some insight on how to help? Do I call social services in his town, the cops, a lawyer. WTF can I do to help this guy.? ....update. another friend is now on a flight to Iowa to pick him up. Now what? There's literally nowhere to take him. We have discussed placing a tracker on his phone without his knowledge. And yes, I'm very familiar with dementia. I know this will just get worse. Vital might seem like an odd place to ask about this. But, believe it or not, there can be a lot of wisdom in this group.
Bad situation. If he had any military service the VA could help. Since this involves multiple states, the answers/solutions will vary. Sorry...wish I knew more.
Since he has a job I would check into long term disability benefits and go from there. Sorry I don't have much advice either.
How and where to get him care is what you need to research and is the hardest part but there has to be somewhere that can take him in. And if he is in multiple states try and see which one would be the most beneficial for him and or has the best programs for dementia and the like. Shit aint easy to deal with but where there is a will there is a way.
This is coming from a Canadian point of view ,with aid coming from a different country.
I feel for you.My wife’s father who is going to be 91 this Sept. is in deep with dementia..we are working with a specialist with the BC Alzheimer’s society .He still lives at home with his wife .managing so far.
He sometimes for gets to get dressed.some insight to the cause is sometimes a stressful moment arises.try and find out how far back in his memory he can get to before he can’t remember.
Try to find out if his memory loss is in a close to current time.ie does he forget from present day back in time 2 weeks or so.
Both of these symptoms have different types of treatments to help with the memory loss.
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It's very tough. My grandmother developed some kind of senile dementia, but it wasn't Alzheimer's. She passed away within a few years of the diagnosis. Now, my mother has begun to have the same symptoms. She sold her house and moved in with my sister; sis and I are trying to take turns caring for her, but it's hard. She doesn't understand why we're treating her like a child, but that's exactly what we must do. She isn't going to wander out into traffic or anything, but she keeps talking about buying a condo in Long Beach so she can live near her sisters. The thing is, she couldn't buy a condo in L.B. for twice the money she has, nor could she take care of herself. She forgets everything that isn't really profound or unusual in her day. I am really hoping the same doesn't happen to me. 😬
Sorry to hear about your friend. The truth is that it gets worse, usually.
Depends on how bad he is. If he has decision making capacity and is still mostly functional it's going to be hard to do anything yet.
If he's beyond that, to the point where police are getting involved because he's lost, first stop is going to be ER. People get admitted for stuff like this all the time so social work can come up with a plan.
Most places also have adult protective services. If you can find an adult protective services reporting number where he actually lives they can help.
Try to get him to name someone power of attorney while he still can. If no family around, it will be very hard for friends to convince anyone that they should be making decisions for him once he can't, and then you end up having state guardian.....
Tracker on phone is good idea but also make sure the in case of emergency numbers and medical info are up to date and able to be accessed by others without unlocking phone.
Good luck. It's not easy, but no he should not end up homeless if dementia is his big issue. You end up on Medicaid and Medicare disability and in nursing home that's paid for by these. Homeless shelters should know what's up enough to send people like this to ER to get what they need, shouldn't just be housing people who aren't decisional.
You basically summarized perfectly everything I've found out today. The fact is , there is basically nothing I can do to fix this. Thanks for yalls comments.
Chlodog, does your friend know he's losing his mind? One part about my mom's condition is that she knows what's going on and admits it. Whenever she gets disappointed or upset we can gently remind her that she doesn't remember things that we talked about doing. The hard part is determining if she is actually lucid at any given moment or if she's just not all there.
If your buddy knows that he has a problem, it might be much easier to get him help.
He has said things over the years that led me to believe he saw it coming. But that time has passed. I just got off the phone with him. In our 10 minute conversation he told me he was in Boulder, Iowa. Denver, and virginia. It's bad and of course he refuses to go to the doctor. I'll most likely never see him again. So to answer your question, at this point, he's clueless.
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