When your wife asks you what you want for Christmas

ToolMaker

The correct answer is NOT "I want you to wear a bikini, fan me with palm frawns, and feed me grapes" Bad things will happen as soon as you're done talking and I'm told it will 100% not happen. So you should probably prepare a better answer in the event you get the same question.

TM

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sumdood
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sumdood 11/26/2023 9:43pm
11/26/2023 9:43pm

Seems like reasonable request 

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r_outsider 11/26/2023 9:44pm
11/26/2023 9:44pm

Truly a wise, learned man...

Chance1216
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Chance1216 11/26/2023 10:31pm
11/26/2023 10:31pm

I once told my wife I wanted to use her ass as a work bench as I worked on my bike while reruns of SX were playing. 
 

 We have that kind of relationship. Yes, she knew it was a joke. I ended up with a new Troy Lee helmet that year. 

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Sully
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Sully 11/26/2023 11:06pm
11/26/2023 11:06pm
ToolMaker wrote:
The correct answer is NOT "I want you to wear a bikini, fan me with palm frawns, and feed me grapes" Bad things will happen as...

The correct answer is NOT "I want you to wear a bikini, fan me with palm frawns, and feed me grapes" Bad things will happen as soon as you're done talking and I'm told it will 100% not happen. So you should probably prepare a better answer in the event you get the same question.

TM

I think I found the disconnect...you didn't say please. Always gotta remember the magic word.

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Magoofan
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Magoofan 11/26/2023 11:37pm
11/26/2023 11:37pm
Chance1216 wrote:
I once told my wife I wanted to use her ass as a work bench as I worked on my bike while reruns of SX were...

I once told my wife I wanted to use her ass as a work bench as I worked on my bike while reruns of SX were playing. 
 

 We have that kind of relationship. Yes, she knew it was a joke. I ended up with a new Troy Lee helmet that year. 

Isn't it great to have a wife with a sense of humor.   Mines like that too.      She was on a trip a few months ago and called me on her way home.   Before the call ended she said  "make sure all the hookers are gone before I get home".

Grinning

 

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Chance1216
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Chance1216 11/27/2023 12:32am
11/27/2023 12:32am
Chance1216 wrote:
I once told my wife I wanted to use her ass as a work bench as I worked on my bike while reruns of SX were...

I once told my wife I wanted to use her ass as a work bench as I worked on my bike while reruns of SX were playing. 
 

 We have that kind of relationship. Yes, she knew it was a joke. I ended up with a new Troy Lee helmet that year. 

Magoofan wrote:
Isn't it great to have a wife with a sense of humor.   Mines like that too.      She was on a trip a few months...

Isn't it great to have a wife with a sense of humor.   Mines like that too.      She was on a trip a few months ago and called me on her way home.   Before the call ended she said  "make sure all the hookers are gone before I get home".

Grinning

 

Absolutely.  I’m pretty fortunate. Seems you are to. 

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ToolMaker 11/27/2023 6:54am
11/27/2023 6:54am
Chance1216 wrote:
I once told my wife I wanted to use her ass as a work bench as I worked on my bike while reruns of SX were...

I once told my wife I wanted to use her ass as a work bench as I worked on my bike while reruns of SX were playing. 
 

 We have that kind of relationship. Yes, she knew it was a joke. I ended up with a new Troy Lee helmet that year. 

Magoofan wrote:
Isn't it great to have a wife with a sense of humor.   Mines like that too.      She was on a trip a few months...

Isn't it great to have a wife with a sense of humor.   Mines like that too.      She was on a trip a few months ago and called me on her way home.   Before the call ended she said  "make sure all the hookers are gone before I get home".

Grinning

 

I can't imagine having a wife that I can't have fun with. I don't know how I got so lucky in life.

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McG194
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McG194 11/27/2023 7:16am
11/27/2023 7:16am
ToolMaker wrote:
The correct answer is NOT "I want you to wear a bikini, fan me with palm frawns, and feed me grapes" Bad things will happen as...

The correct answer is NOT "I want you to wear a bikini, fan me with palm frawns, and feed me grapes" Bad things will happen as soon as you're done talking and I'm told it will 100% not happen. So you should probably prepare a better answer in the event you get the same question.

TM

The correct response to her unbridled negativity is to ask if her sister (or best friend) is willing to wear the bikini, fan you with palm fronds and feed you grapes. 

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ToolMaker 11/27/2023 7:44am
11/27/2023 7:44am
ToolMaker wrote:
The correct answer is NOT "I want you to wear a bikini, fan me with palm frawns, and feed me grapes" Bad things will happen as...

The correct answer is NOT "I want you to wear a bikini, fan me with palm frawns, and feed me grapes" Bad things will happen as soon as you're done talking and I'm told it will 100% not happen. So you should probably prepare a better answer in the event you get the same question.

TM

McG194 wrote:
The correct response to her unbridled negativity is to ask if her sister (or best friend) is willing to wear the bikini, fan you with palm...

The correct response to her unbridled negativity is to ask if her sister (or best friend) is willing to wear the bikini, fan you with palm fronds and feed you grapes. 

Oh shit, you're digging my grave there brother!

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McG194
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McG194 11/27/2023 7:50am
11/27/2023 7:50am
ToolMaker wrote:
The correct answer is NOT "I want you to wear a bikini, fan me with palm frawns, and feed me grapes" Bad things will happen as...

The correct answer is NOT "I want you to wear a bikini, fan me with palm frawns, and feed me grapes" Bad things will happen as soon as you're done talking and I'm told it will 100% not happen. So you should probably prepare a better answer in the event you get the same question.

TM

McG194 wrote:
The correct response to her unbridled negativity is to ask if her sister (or best friend) is willing to wear the bikini, fan you with palm...

The correct response to her unbridled negativity is to ask if her sister (or best friend) is willing to wear the bikini, fan you with palm fronds and feed you grapes. 

ToolMaker wrote:

Oh shit, you're digging my grave there brother!

Sorry, I'm an idea man.    hahaha

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coopernicus
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coopernicus 11/27/2023 9:17am
11/27/2023 9:17am
Chance1216 wrote:
I once told my wife I wanted to use her ass as a work bench as I worked on my bike while reruns of SX were...

I once told my wife I wanted to use her ass as a work bench as I worked on my bike while reruns of SX were playing. 
 

 We have that kind of relationship. Yes, she knew it was a joke. I ended up with a new Troy Lee helmet that year. 

Magoofan wrote:
Isn't it great to have a wife with a sense of humor.   Mines like that too.      She was on a trip a few months...

Isn't it great to have a wife with a sense of humor.   Mines like that too.      She was on a trip a few months ago and called me on her way home.   Before the call ended she said  "make sure all the hookers are gone before I get home".

Grinning

 

So, the high dollar escorts were allowed to stay?

2
ToolMaker 11/27/2023 9:41am
11/27/2023 9:41am
Chance1216 wrote:
I once told my wife I wanted to use her ass as a work bench as I worked on my bike while reruns of SX were...

I once told my wife I wanted to use her ass as a work bench as I worked on my bike while reruns of SX were playing. 
 

 We have that kind of relationship. Yes, she knew it was a joke. I ended up with a new Troy Lee helmet that year. 

Having a wife like that is priceless! You too are one lucky guy!

2
Joey Bridges
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Joey Bridges 11/27/2023 9:46am
11/27/2023 9:46am

She's never asked. 

I've never been disappointed. 

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ToolMaker 11/27/2023 10:00am
11/27/2023 10:00am
Chance1216 wrote:
I once told my wife I wanted to use her ass as a work bench as I worked on my bike while reruns of SX were...

I once told my wife I wanted to use her ass as a work bench as I worked on my bike while reruns of SX were playing. 
 

 We have that kind of relationship. Yes, she knew it was a joke. I ended up with a new Troy Lee helmet that year. 

Magoofan wrote:
Isn't it great to have a wife with a sense of humor.   Mines like that too.      She was on a trip a few months...

Isn't it great to have a wife with a sense of humor.   Mines like that too.      She was on a trip a few months ago and called me on her way home.   Before the call ended she said  "make sure all the hookers are gone before I get home".

Grinning

 

I guess now we're all going to Magoofan's for Hookers and beers!

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Chance1216
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Chance1216 11/27/2023 12:44pm
11/27/2023 12:44pm
ToolMaker wrote:

I guess now we're all going to Magoofan's for Hookers and beers!

75D4AEF8-CE3D-4DBA-86E5-97D0CB3A0845.jpeg?VersionId=MQPsDlUZuT.k

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ToolMaker 11/27/2023 4:39pm
11/27/2023 4:39pm
ToolMaker wrote:

I guess now we're all going to Magoofan's for Hookers and beers!

Chance1216 wrote:

75D4AEF8-CE3D-4DBA-86E5-97D0CB3A0845.jpeg?VersionId=MQPsDlUZuT.k

Post of the day!

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SEE ARE125 11/27/2023 5:39pm
11/27/2023 5:39pm
ToolMaker wrote:
The correct answer is NOT "I want you to wear a bikini, fan me with palm frawns, and feed me grapes" Bad things will happen as...

The correct answer is NOT "I want you to wear a bikini, fan me with palm frawns, and feed me grapes" Bad things will happen as soon as you're done talking and I'm told it will 100% not happen. So you should probably prepare a better answer in the event you get the same question.

TM

Sully wrote:

I think I found the disconnect...you didn't say please. Always gotta remember the magic word.

If that doesn’t work, substitute “please” for “bitch.” Then she’ll throw all kinds of gifts your way.

2
ToolMaker 11/27/2023 8:13pm
11/27/2023 8:13pm

Your definition of gifts must be very broad! lol

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Chance1216
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Chance1216 11/27/2023 8:41pm
11/27/2023 8:41pm
ToolMaker wrote:

Your definition of gifts must be very broad! lol

Clocks, an iron, lawn darts, a lamp. 
That’s love 😂

SEE ARE125 11/27/2023 10:45pm
11/27/2023 10:45pm
ToolMaker wrote:

Your definition of gifts must be very broad! lol

Chance1216 wrote:

Clocks, an iron, lawn darts, a lamp. 
That’s love 😂

Whatever is within arms reach. Laughing

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Chance1216
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Chance1216 11/27/2023 11:10pm
11/27/2023 11:10pm Edited Date/Time 11/27/2023 11:13pm
ToolMaker wrote:

Your definition of gifts must be very broad! lol

Chance1216 wrote:

Clocks, an iron, lawn darts, a lamp. 
That’s love 😂

SEE ARE125 wrote:
Whatever is within arms reach. 

Whatever is within arms reach. Laughing

Fuuuuck. I was break dancing like Jackie Chan in my garage dodging any and, everything one time. The madder she got, the harder I laughed. 
That just meant objects got more dangerous. I knew it was time to open the garage and, bolt the minute she yanked six steel tipped darts off the board. 

We both laugh about how dumb we were when, we were younger. She kept me agile, I kept her cardio up 😂 

Funny thing is, we’ve lasted 24 years and, couldn’t be happier now.  
 

4
ToolMaker 11/28/2023 9:04am
11/28/2023 9:04am
Chance1216 wrote:

Clocks, an iron, lawn darts, a lamp. 
That’s love 😂

SEE ARE125 wrote:
Whatever is within arms reach. 

Whatever is within arms reach. Laughing

Chance1216 wrote:
Fuuuuck. I was break dancing like Jackie Chan in my garage dodging any and, everything one time. The madder she got, the harder I laughed.  That...

Fuuuuck. I was break dancing like Jackie Chan in my garage dodging any and, everything one time. The madder she got, the harder I laughed. 
That just meant objects got more dangerous. I knew it was time to open the garage and, bolt the minute she yanked six steel tipped darts off the board. 

We both laugh about how dumb we were when, we were younger. She kept me agile, I kept her cardio up 😂 

Funny thing is, we’ve lasted 24 years and, couldn’t be happier now.  
 

I was telling my wife about this thread last night, she had a good laugh too!

1
McG194
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McG194 11/28/2023 11:29am
11/28/2023 11:29am
SEE ARE125 wrote:
Whatever is within arms reach. 

Whatever is within arms reach. Laughing

Chance1216 wrote:
Fuuuuck. I was break dancing like Jackie Chan in my garage dodging any and, everything one time. The madder she got, the harder I laughed.  That...

Fuuuuck. I was break dancing like Jackie Chan in my garage dodging any and, everything one time. The madder she got, the harder I laughed. 
That just meant objects got more dangerous. I knew it was time to open the garage and, bolt the minute she yanked six steel tipped darts off the board. 

We both laugh about how dumb we were when, we were younger. She kept me agile, I kept her cardio up 😂 

Funny thing is, we’ve lasted 24 years and, couldn’t be happier now.  
 

ToolMaker wrote:

I was telling my wife about this thread last night, she had a good laugh too!

Must not have told her my part.   lol

ToolMaker 11/28/2023 1:24pm
11/28/2023 1:24pm
Chance1216 wrote:
Fuuuuck. I was break dancing like Jackie Chan in my garage dodging any and, everything one time. The madder she got, the harder I laughed.  That...

Fuuuuck. I was break dancing like Jackie Chan in my garage dodging any and, everything one time. The madder she got, the harder I laughed. 
That just meant objects got more dangerous. I knew it was time to open the garage and, bolt the minute she yanked six steel tipped darts off the board. 

We both laugh about how dumb we were when, we were younger. She kept me agile, I kept her cardio up 😂 

Funny thing is, we’ve lasted 24 years and, couldn’t be happier now.  
 

ToolMaker wrote:

I was telling my wife about this thread last night, she had a good laugh too!

McG194 wrote:

Must not have told her my part.   lol

Her biggest chuckle was when I told her about replacing please with bitch. She said we're all Neanderthals, but still had a good chuckle.

2

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