Star Patrol Spotlight Scam

EVH4Ever
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Atlanta, GA, USA

Have you guys seen this commercial? Holy crap, in EVERY scene the humongous Hollywood Klieg lights turn on nanoseconds before the alleged “Star patrol flashlight” turns on appearing to illuminate a city block. Lmao. I’d sooner buy a bamboo steamer or Popeil pocket fisherman.

 

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Chance1216
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Carson, CA, USA
5/12/2025 8:19pm

There’s a couple other brands that make the same claim. I looked into them and, most only averaged 400 lumens. 
 

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EVH4Ever
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5/12/2025 8:46pm
Chance1216 wrote:

There’s a couple other brands that make the same claim. I looked into them and, most only averaged 400 lumens. 
 

Gotta love the young Bob Vela lookalike they have as their spokesperson. 😂

1
5/13/2025 9:17am
Chance1216 wrote:

There’s a couple other brands that make the same claim. I looked into them and, most only averaged 400 lumens. 
 

400 lumens out of a light the size of a basketball is hilarious. 

1
Joey Bridges
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5/13/2025 9:47am
Chance1216 wrote:

There’s a couple other brands that make the same claim. I looked into them and, most only averaged 400 lumens. 
 

400 lumens out of a light the size of a basketball is hilarious. 

Not so fast boy.

1,100 lumens that fit easily in the palm of your hand

20250513 124350

 

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The Shop

FastEddy
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5/13/2025 9:51am Edited Date/Time 5/13/2025 9:52am

There's lot's of junk out there being marketed (lasers/lights/torches ect..).  If you want the real stuff legally , it's very hard to find anything that is transferable that is effective.      B.E. MEYERS & CO.makes some really neat stuff in regards to illumination and dazzlers to disorient folks.  But I believe most of their stuff they will only sell to military  & law enforcement.

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Joey Bridges
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5/13/2025 9:51am

I think everyone knows, anything advertised on television is probably a scam.

Flashlights, garden hoses, kitchen gadgets, and you gotta love the little pedal wheel that shows old people sitting on the sofa, pedaling away and pretending to get in shape. 

1
SEEMEFIRST
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Arlington, TX, USA
5/13/2025 9:57am
Chance1216 wrote:

There’s a couple other brands that make the same claim. I looked into them and, most only averaged 400 lumens. 
 

400 lumens out of a light the size of a basketball is hilarious. 

Not so fast boy.1,100 lumens that fit easily in the palm of your hand 

Not so fast boy.

1,100 lumens that fit easily in the palm of your hand

20250513 124350

 

Nice!

I have a Coast HP3R that runs on either 2 AAAs or the rechargable battery that is 500 lumens. For what I do it's plenty, and often times I need to switch it to a lower setting to actually read numbers off bearings and stuff.

3
5/13/2025 10:22am
FastEddy wrote:
There's lot's of junk out there being marketed (lasers/lights/torches ect..).  If you want the real stuff legally , it's very hard to find anything that is...

There's lot's of junk out there being marketed (lasers/lights/torches ect..).  If you want the real stuff legally , it's very hard to find anything that is transferable that is effective.      B.E. MEYERS & CO.makes some really neat stuff in regards to illumination and dazzlers to disorient folks.  But I believe most of their stuff they will only sell to military  & law enforcement.

We can get just about anything in the visible spectrum that I care for, it's the infrared spectrum where we really miss out as civilians😉.

1
peelout
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Ogden, UT, USA
5/13/2025 10:29am
I think everyone knows, anything advertised on television is probably a scam.Flashlights, garden hoses, kitchen gadgets, and you gotta love the little pedal wheel that shows...

I think everyone knows, anything advertised on television is probably a scam.

Flashlights, garden hoses, kitchen gadgets, and you gotta love the little pedal wheel that shows old people sitting on the sofa, pedaling away and pretending to get in shape. 

i don't know bro, i got a couple of the Pocket Hose copper bullet expandable hose and they've completely changed my life

1
EVH4Ever
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5/13/2025 10:36am
peelout wrote:

i don't know bro, i got a couple of the Pocket Hose copper bullet expandable hose and they've completely changed my life

I’d like to say the same about my shake weight but for some reason I feel pretty gay every time I use it.

 

1
peelout
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5/13/2025 10:37am
peelout wrote:

i don't know bro, i got a couple of the Pocket Hose copper bullet expandable hose and they've completely changed my life

EVH4Ever wrote:

I’d like to say the same about my shake weight but for some reason I feel pretty gay every time I use it.

 

try duct-taping a flesh light to one end. 2 birds 1 stone

7
Joey Bridges
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Kingston, TN, USA
5/13/2025 10:39am
I think everyone knows, anything advertised on television is probably a scam.Flashlights, garden hoses, kitchen gadgets, and you gotta love the little pedal wheel that shows...

I think everyone knows, anything advertised on television is probably a scam.

Flashlights, garden hoses, kitchen gadgets, and you gotta love the little pedal wheel that shows old people sitting on the sofa, pedaling away and pretending to get in shape. 

peelout wrote:

i don't know bro, i got a couple of the Pocket Hose copper bullet expandable hose and they've completely changed my life

🤣😂🤣😂

 

Just don't fall for the mail order, limp dick pills. 

Or those prostate pills the hasbeen football guys are selling. 

EVH4Ever
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5/13/2025 10:42am
peelout wrote:

try duct-taping a flesh light to one end. 2 birds 1 stone

I’m gonna follow you for more life hacks.

🤣

1
FastEddy
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5/13/2025 10:43am
peelout wrote:

try duct-taping a flesh light to one end. 2 birds 1 stone

I knew it was only a matter of time before someone brought up "flesh light" in this thread.  lol

2
TeamGreen
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5/14/2025 8:42am

You all are a bunch of absolute sick fucks.

I love this place.

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EVH4Ever
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5/14/2025 8:47am

I resemble that, Manny.

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