A blond, a priest, and a jewish guy walk into a bar...

3 jews walk into a bar........and they buy the place.

Why did the chicken stop in the middle of the street?


To lay it on the line.


I was all out of bar jokes.

A pair of jumper cables walks into a bar.

The bartender says "Don't you start nuthin"

a string walks into a bar, bartender says "we don't serve strings here" and the string walks outside. The strings buddy says tie me in a knot and loosen my ends and then I'll walk in. bartender says "aren't you a string?" to which he replied "nope, fryed knot."

An Irishman walks out of a bar.

A Cajun walks into a bar with
A pet alligator by his side.
He puts the alligator up on the bar.
He turns to the astonished patrons.

'I'll make you a deal. I'll open this alligator's mouth and place my manhood inside.

Then the gator will close his
Mouth for one minute.
'Then he'll open his mouth
And I'll remove my unit unscathed.
In return for witnessing this
Spectacle,
Each of you will buy me a drink.'
The crowd murmured their approval.
The man stood up on the bar,
Dropped his trousers,
And placed his Johnson and related parts in the alligator's open mouth.
The gator closed his mouth
As the crowd gasped.
After a minute,
The man grabbed a beer
Bottle and smacked the
Alligator hard on the top of
its head.



The gator opened his mouth
And the man removed his genitals unscathed as promised.
The crowd cheered,
And the first of his free
Drinks were delivered.




The man stood up again and made another offer. 'I'll pay anyone $100 who's willing to give it a try.'



A hush fell over the crowd. After a while, a hand went up in the back of the bar.
A Blonde woman timidly
Spoke up..........
'I'll try it -
Just don't hit me so hard
With the beer bottle!'

How many Irishmen does it take to screw in a light bulb?

3...one to hold the light bulb and the other 2 to drink until the room spins...........

Frenchman walks into a bar with a duck on his head.
Bartender says "Where'd you get that mangey thing"
Duck says "France, there's millions of them"


Sorry DV.

A Pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel nailed to his pecker.. The bartender say's, Man thats gotta hurt... The Pirate say's, AARRRRGH it's driving me nut's....