Old Super Hunky Dirt Bike column Archives

I'd love to read that one again.   I hope it shows up.

Couple of my other favorites....  "Sunday Morning Ride - 1984" and "Exit". 

Rick sells a CD with every one of those stories.  $25

http://store.superhunky.com/opencart/index.php?route=product/category&p…

Wife was just asking me for some Christmas gift ideas....    She thanks you!

That sounds like an adventure ed hertfelder of "duct tapes" would have.

I remember one where they were going to trials event and his buddy was plugging in an electric shaver, and the vw bus they were in would lose 5 mph everytime he plugged it in. So his buddy sketches out a plan to cut a hole in the back of the van and drop a running bike through to give more power so he can get a better shave.

I might have to order that cd there.

I know Jody at mxa isn't the most popular sometimes but I would pay double that for a complete collection of "jody's box"

Likewise on Jody's Box.   Still one of my favorite columns after 4 decades. 

People that have a problem with Jody ain't right in the head. 

Best monthly column ever was Super Hunky... best single column was the one about the ache in the chest and the uber-exotic four stroke build before dying...... such heavy stuff, but truly talented.... there is no equivalent today in moto media...  

does anyone remember before Jody's Box it was Baz's Box ?

i was thinking it was paul clipper that wrote that one,

i have been looking for it for a while.

i agree that you don't see the stuff that really gut punches you like that one,

jody's one about his dad was another.

some of dc's reason for being were good too.

so many are worried about how many they touch (clicks) instead of how deeply they touch people, which always stands the test of time

That is "EXIT"....

One of his best.

***

It was the pain deep inside his chest that forced him to see a doctor Oh sure, he knew something was wrong, but, like most people, he put it off, And put it off. How long had that pain been gnawing away? Two years? Three? At least three. It'd been there so long it was almost taken for granted.

But, lately, it had worsened. It was affecting his riding, walking, eating, sleeping, and his work. Motorcycle racers don't like to go to doctors, even though they are forced to seek their services now and then. The occasional trip into the Twilight Zone, the harsh crack of bone against rock and it's Plaster City. Frank had been there before. Not too often, but enough to keep a healthy respect for just how far he would let it all hang out now.

He raced a bit more cautiously now days. Still fairly fast and competent, but the years and the close calls and the bumps and the bruises had all taken a tiny bit off that racer's edge. Still racing was fun and that's what counted, right?

Frank sat in the doctor's office idly flipping through a tattered copy of National Geographic, wishing he'd had the foresight to bring a bike magazine with him to help pass the time. He'd been in this cold, white office too many times in the last month what with all the check-ups, X-rays blood tests and other mysterious things they did to his body. The pain was still there. Always the pain.

The white-haired doctor called him in to his private office and closed the door quietly behind them. Frank knew at that moment that something was desperately wrong.

The doctor told him very quietly, patiently and calmly what was up. He did it so professionally that Frank listened in an almost detached manner, as the white-haired physician told him he had only a few months to live ... perhaps five or six at the most.

What got Frank upset was that he'd never even heard of the disease. A lot of Latin words strung together. Why didn't they just call it a ball of pain in the chest?

With more calm in his voice than he could believe, Frank asked the good doctor about operations and alternatives. With an obvious tremble in his hands, the doctor explained the whynots and the where-fors of the situation. He took a long time and ignored the blinking light on his phone.

When he stopped talking, Frank fairly well understood the mechanics behind his doom. The doctor wrote out a prescription "for the pain" and told him to use it as needed and to call any time the pain got too intense. There were stronger things available for stronger pain.

They shook hands and parted. Frank drove his pickup truck home, head whirling with thoughts. He stopped off at a drive-through, ordered some burgers and junk food and ate as he put in the 22 miles that separated his home from the medical center.

By the time he got home, Frank knew exactly what he wanted to do. He grabbed a beer and sat down at his wobbly old desk. A yellow-lined pad and a felt-tipped pen were extracted from the center drawer, along with his savings account and checkbooks.

Very slowly and with much thought, Frank made a list on that clean yellow pad. After each item, he put a price. Frank knew just about what things cost. Nine hundred bucks for the trick frame. Twenty-five hundred for the bike. Exotic forks, special shock, aluminum this, magnesium that, chromoly goodies, lightweight plastic, special parts for the engine, the best tires money could buy... in fact, the best of everything.

When he completed the list and added it up, he gave a low whistle. The total came to over eight thousand dollars. A check of his bank and checkbooks showed that he had more than enough to cover the cost. He slowly savored three more beers that evening and made page after page of notes on the yellow-lined legal pad. Sleep came easy, in spite of that ever-present pain in the chest.

The next morning was spent cleaning out his garage. He shaped it up to perfection, then made a trip to the bank and withdrew a tidy sum of cash. Frank then stopped off at his favorite place and spent a considerable amount of that cash on new tools. The good stuff. Snap-On, S-K, top-of-the-line sockets, and wrenches. And then he bought a shiny new red Craftsman two-piece roll-around toolbox.

It gave him an odd feeling of pleasure to peel off the twenty-dollar bills to pay for the tools. The salesman helped him load everything in the back of the pickup and Frank then headed down to the bike shop.

The man behind the counter knew him by his first name and they exchanged the usual pleasantries. Casually, with a slight smile of glee, Frank told the man to load that bike-that one over there-in the back of his truck, and started counting out one hundred dollar bills on the counter to drive the message home.

After the paperwork, Frank placed an order for some special parts and goodies. The man totaled it up and Frank once more proceeded to count out bills on the glass top of the display case. He was offered a discount, but refused it. His only request was that everything be delivered to his home before the end of the week.

Frank made two more stops before he headed home to his garage ... one to order a special frame and another to pick up a cardboard box full of speed parts for the engine.

He spent that night sorting every thing out on his workbench and checking off items on that yellow legal pad. Sleep came hard.

Early the next morning, Frank rolled the new bike into the center of the garage and put it up on a milk crate. Parts were carefully removed with the shiny new tools and placed in various cardboard boxes that were marked with a thick felt pen; then he placed them on shelves.

By noon, only the engine sat there. Frank opened the thick workshop manual and proceeded to tear the big four-stroke engine down. He made notes, put nuts and bolts into small boxes and, at four o'clock, took the barrel down to his local machine shop with instructions to bore it out to match the new, huge piston.

The days went by slowly and pleasantly. Frank did not answer the telephone and did not open any mail. He only left the garage to make trips to the machine shop, or to the bike shop for needed odds and ends.

With the arrival of the frame and forks, the bike started to take shape. Parts started to fall into place. Some things required drilling, bending, shaping and fitting. Frank carefully fitted each and every piece with patience until he was satisfied that it was perfect.

By the time two weeks had passed, Frank was forced to stop by the pharmacy and get that prescription filled. The pharmacist looked a bit startled when he read the doctor's scrawl and placed a call to check it out. Frank took a double-dose of painkillers to sleep that night, but he woke up so fuzzy-headed the next morning that he flushed the remaining pills down the toilet.

It took one more week before the bike was completed. Naturally enough, the last two bolts were snubbed in place well into the wee hours of the morning. Frank poured some straight gas in the tank, twisted on the petcock and depressed the choke lever.

It took three kicks for the big bike to light off, but when it did, the sound from the megaphone was pure music. Frank ran the bike for three minutes, ignoring the blue haze filling up the garage, then shut off the lights and went to sleep.

Early the next morning, he rose and went out to the garage. An hour was spent checking all of the nuts and bolts with a torque wrench. Frank then loaded the bike up into the back of his truck with all of his riding gear and headed out the Interstate.

He stopped off at his favorite restaurant and had steak and eggs and several cups of scalding-hot black coffee. The waitress smiled from ear to ear when he left the whole twenty-dollar bill with the check.

Twenty minutes later, Frank arrived at his favorite riding area and unloaded the bike. He fired it up and let it idle comfortably while he put on his riding gear. Frank slipped the goggles in place, then swung a leg over the bike and blipped the throttle a few times. The engine responded cleanly and instantly with a rapping snarl. Good.

Frank nudged the shift lever into low and eased away. The bike pulled strongly, satisfyingly, through the gears. Not a hint of a flat spot, or even a burble, as the revs rose.

Frank followed the two-track road through the valley and then caught the old fire road heading up the mountain side. The smoothly graded road had just the perfect surface for letting it all hang out.

Once he got the feel of the bike, Frank started to stuff it into the turns with the rear end hanging out, the exhaust note wailing off the steep canyon walls.

As the road climbed, Frank was forced to use a lower gear and rev the engine harder to maintain his speed. A thin sheen of perspiration covered his forehead and face. He breathed harder, worked the bike deeper into the turns.

As Frank neared the summit, he saw the last wide sweeping corner before the road ended and the narrow trails began. It was clearly marked with white barriers to keep wayward vehicles from plummeting off the vertical drop.

Frank smiled, took a deep breath, let the revs rise, and aimed the front wheel directly at the flimsy barriers. The white wood snapped cleanly and the bike sailed out into the clear blue air.

Frank held tightly onto the bars and sailed and sailed and sailed. He had always wondered what it might be like.

And now he knew.

thanks..

i don't know why i thought that was written by paul clipper.

I have a large collection of old Dirt Bike mags (and mxa, dirt rider, trail rider ect) and always enjoy reading the old super hunk and Ed H. columns. Super hunky has a couple books out too, Monkey Butt and The Last Ride, I defenetly reccomend those as well. 

Ed Herfelder's books too, but good luck finding them. I have a copy of reset at 80.1. 

http://superhunky.com/

Here is a link to just a few of Ed's stories: https://www.dixiedualsport.com/hertfelder/main.html

The one that stuck with me was not Hunky but one of the other Hi Torque Editors. Miller I think.

He was pre running Baja and some drunks in a pickup bore down on him and left him for dead off the side of the road. After rescue he had to beg doctors to not amputate his leg.

Probably the reason I still dont want to go to Mexico this day.

I have 2 of ed's books my mom bought me for 2 Christmas gifts back about 1980.

She found a clipped ad from cycle magazine in my room and ordered. She told him how she found out about him, and he autographed it "Maybe now you will clean your damn room".

Here is some of his latter published stuff Ed Hertfelder, Author at CityBike Magazine

Copies of 80.1 are selling used for about 300.

If you want a used copy of his last book. 80.4, you are looking at about 1400.00

Last i saw he had moved out to arizona to live with family. I hope they keep him updated on how much they are bringing. I bet he would be amused.

I hope some day they make a cd copy of all his stuff. I would open the check book for that

Thanks for the link, just ordered a bunch of stuff that took me back to my childhood and early teens, bought some of this for the kids and grandkids, Rick is a one of a kind awesome dude! His columns got me started in writing before I went into high school, his style is the best I’ve ever read!

Rick is indeed one of a kind!

I credit reading his stuff starting in 1971 at age 11 for my sarcastic eloquence that has persisted for the past 51 years.  For some reason my high school and later my Journalism professors didn't appreciate the style quite as much as I.