Upgrade to enjoy this feature!
Vital MX fantasy is free to play, but Premium users receive great benefits. Premium benefits include:
- View and download rider stats
- Pick trends
- Create a private league
- And more!
Only $10 for all 2026 SX, MX, and SMX series.
Let’s Go Mum! You can do this Hon!!!!!
SB. Just wondering how you are doing my friend?
Just moving forward.
Mom is doing better. She got over her UTI and the fluid is slowly draining from her lower legs with the higher dosage of meds she is taking. She can get around in her little wheelchair using her legs and she hasn't fallen in a couple of weeks. She rests a lot to the point it seems she is hibernating. She is relaxed and in no pain so that is good but she is fading. I feel like I have already lost the mom I could talk to and have her fully understand me.
We met with a very nice woman from Hospice on Tuesday and also moms doctor to go over the few meds she takes. Her doctor is a great guy. We meet again with hospice next Tuesday to sign paperwork and do final evaluation of mom. The care facility is happy about this as they have protocol for when moms blood oxygen levels are too low which I have gotten them to ignore. They are what they are and mom does not want supplemental O.
She might die in her sleep tonight, or 3 months from now. I don't know. She just seems to keep going.
Both of you guys are Amazing!❤️
The Shop
Luxon 4-Post Bar Mounts
$189.95 - $239.95
DeCal Works Huge Plastic Inventory of UFO and Polisport kits.
It’s been said and I can feel the need to repeat it…
Ezza & SB…you both are doing a wonderful thing. Please make sure to take care of yourselves and make time for “you”.
Sending positive thoughts and support with the utmost care and respect.
So, here's a two-part post for a few of you guys.
Ezza, since this is your thread, you go first. I am really stoked to see the level of support you're giving your mom. Believe me, it will help! She seems to be making progress toward a recovery and just know that it takes a long time. You may remember I mentioned my dad had a stroke back in '99 - he recovered slowly but surely and ended up with almost a complete recovery. Time heals.
Sandberm, I'm really sorry to hear about your mom. As you may have read in my "Being a man" thread, my father passed last month. He too had been in hospital care for a while and then ended up on hospice. At some point he was just tired of being attended to at the hospital and made to undergo tests, probes, and trips down to the x-ray machine. He said, "I think I just want to go home." That part was so hard to hear and understand.
The best advice I can possibly give is to talk to your mom. Even if she doesn't remember everything or can't respond, keep giving her love and your voice. I don't regret losing my dad but I keep remembering little things I could have told him that didn't occur to me. I did make it a point to say to him how much I loved him and how proud I was to call him my dad. It's important for your own sake to get that kind of stuff out there.
Good luck to both of you. My prayers are with both your moms.
I felt that feeling too. But try and stay present and not compare how she is now VS before. Try and enjoy each days version the best you can. You may have a few seconds or minutes, that show she's still in there. I know it was VERY hard for me, but I'm so glad I was able to change my way of thinking.
While I am relived that my mother is free from her tired and worn body. I treasure all the time I spent with her and I'm glad that I got over feeling like I had lost her before she passed. We had so many fun times and great memories that may not have happened if I had kept thinking that way. I know its hard, I've been through it. But when the time comes that she is no longer here at all, You will be very glad for those moments you had with her. I know I would do just about anything to have had more of the good times. Many came in between some of the worst days .
They say that often near the end the person can have a period of clarity that seems like almost a full recovery mentally. For my mom that lasted about 3 weeks to a month. And I am so glad I was mentally able to enjoy that time with her. We were able to have real conversations again, and it was amazing. And right up until maybe her last 24 hours it was clear she was able to understand what was going on.
During her period of clarity I was able to tell her some stories and get some video of her reactions that I will forever treasure. One story I told her was about a time I picked up a hooker in a blizzard thinking she was my mother. She was laughing at me and had some funny comments.
My advice would be do whatever you can to be able to try and enjoy any of those moments. It was one of the most difficult things I have done, but it was worth it.
I am truly so sorry that You are going through this. It sucks.
Ezza, I hope things are going well with you and Your Mum. You are both showing the world the proof that You have great mothers who raised you well! The world needs more people like you guys.
Thanks guys for the advice and encouragement. I've had a great relationship with my parents, no regrets.
Death is sure different for everyone isn't it? My father had bone disease and his spine basically crumbled and he was in horrible pain before he died in 2019 at the age of 87. Watching the last few months of his life really did something to me. It is hard to explain....I'm suddenly at a loss for words. My sister who is 70 and fit for her age is basically looking at the same fate as she has already had 2 surgeries on her spine.
My sister in laws husband had his brother collapse of a heart attack on Christmas day last year at 58. I believe his death was the tipping point for my brother in law to retire early at 62 and a couple months of age last May.
A man I knew had a stroke out of the blue, died 3 weeks later. He was very healthy looking, active. Another guy suddenly had a bad headache, went to the doctor where they told him he had a brain tumor. He died on the operating table a few weeks later. My old land lord was driving till he was 92, he fell when he became dizzy. Doctor said your heart is done and he died 3 weeks later.
But my mom just keeps trucking along in slow decline. Skin and bones, bad hearing and eyesight but still acts silly, smiles and tells stories o helping the other residents in the lunchroom at the home.
The one thing I have really picked up on this past year is the sincere gratitude mom shows towards those who help her and the looks on their faces we she expresses this. I think that will be my lasting memory of mom.
Your mom sounds like my mother. Very thankful for anything anybody helped her with and always wanting to help others. My mom was 5'10 and had gotten down to just over 80 pounds . Her "normal" weight was around 120. My mother had started to apologize that she was going to be going away soon. And about 3 weeks before she passed, she stopped apologizing and was expressing how grateful she was for everything. She would have been 82 this December.
I spent tons of time with both of my parents and still wish I had more.
I would still try and spend as much time with her as you can. I'm not saying that you will regret it if You don't. You may or may not. For my mom her kids were everything and we were there for her as much as for us. She had asked both my sister and I to be with her when the time came.
You know yourself and family dynamic better than anybody. What I or others have done may not be the right way for you and your family. I'm just offering some thoughts and advice based on my experience and having the hindsight of going through it. While I did help my mom care for my Dad, and his loss was hard. My mothers passing was drastically different for me. I'm not sure why, maybe its because of how dedicated I had been to helping her over the years and how close we got as a result. But it was , is so verry different . Go with your gut , and I hope that your mother has an easy peaceful passing when her time comes.
I was just going through some of my moms stuff. My sister is going to visit soon and I wanna move some stuff around so she can have a comfortable place to stay. And I came across some photos my mom took on an old disposable camera. She only went to one race of mine and I never knew she took photos.
There they were some photos of me racing and she even took some selfies. It was a nice surprise to come across. I may try scanning some and posting them. She was drinking a little bit while there to calm her nerves. I can remember coming by the stands and seeing her screaming and waving a Budweiser bottle as I went by. She did not drink often, a beer or glass of wine every so often. And I think she may have had 2 or 3 beers and was pretty drunk . But loving the race vibe. Unfortunately the photos are a little blurry , but its cool that they even exist.
After flipping through the photos I wanted share my short story and check in and see how everybody was doing with their moms that have been posting or reading this thread. Hope everybody is doing OK .
My mom used to take lots of blurry pictures of me at the local racetrack. Or ones from a mile away. 😄
I got a call in the middle of Monday night as mom had slipped out of her chair and fell. Protocol being what it is at the assisted care facility they had to call in emergency services. We declined going to the hospital again. We were scheduled to sign papers with hospice the next afternoon(yesterday) which would eliminate calling an ambulance and keep mom in the assisted care facility where she wants to die.
But....I got the call I was dreading yesterday morning at about 7:30 that moms oxygen level was 49 and her heart was beating at 130 to compensate and that I should "come hold her hand" as this might be it. Fun way to start your morning. So I called my brother and 2 sisters and left voice messages and went to sit with her. When I arrived her oxygen was up to 69 but her heart was still beating fast. She was in her chair, comfortable. A nurse soon came in and said hospice was going to be there in a few minutes. They called hospice without talking with me. Basically the home does not want to get sued for not following state guidelines but rather what we want.
To make a long story short moms oxygen had rose to above 80 by the time hospice came, (its her new base line), and went over stuff with my brother and I and soon my arriving older sister and I signed papers for hospice care. My other sister who got back late the night before from vacation is coming down today from Spokane (2.5 hour drive) to visit mom.
An exhausting day my friends. From a bad nights sleep to having to accept that yesterday was going to be the day possibly. It soon will be and though i am not a man of religion i do believe God will step in and give me clarity and peace of mind when it does happen.
Tough day for sure. Wide range of emotions. Keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers
Sorry that your mom isn’t doing well and that you’re going thru an obviously difficult time Sandberm. 💔
I'm so sorry to hear that. The ups and downs will be hard. It was one of the more mentally taxing times for me . Just the unknown , but knowing. My mom's heart rate spiked like that too . She started breathing faster as her oxygen levels dropped .And then they gave her meds to bring her breathing down. After your mom is on hospice they will be able to react immediately to any changes and give her meds that will keep her comfortable. While there are physical signs its still guessing about the exact amount of time she has. So be ready for things to not go how they say, or go exactly how they say.
Do what you can to be there with her , or whatever you feel is the right thing to do if she never told you. Follow your gut. She is very lucky to have You and your sisters .Both my mother and older sister worked in assisted living facilities and saw people who never had family visit and who had family visit often. It was more common to not have family around a lot. Take some time before making any big changes. When my Dad passed my mom went through everything and I think she really just wanted to get the grieving process over with as fast as she could. But she ended up making some decisions on stuff that she later wished she had waited on. Take some time and take as much time as you need before doing anything big like selling a house or something that would be hard to undo. I had a lot of people telling me to be kind to myself. And strangely I feel like that was one of the things that I needed to hear most. Do try and get out and do any of the things You may not have been able to .
I am not really religious either, my mother studied many different religions and was into doing psychic readings . I have experienced too many things first hand to not have some belief that there is some truth to a lot of that stuff. I pray that You and your family get some help and that her passing is smooth and peaceful.
Thank you so much Sasq.
In dealing with moms care I have been able to be light hearted and make people laugh or smile who have helped her. I just can't find the words anymore to be so.
A melancholy seriousness is how I feel now. I just am silent.
I summoned up a bit of humor today as we had to team up to lift mom to get her repositioned in bed, telling her how nice it is that she lost a few pounds. She laughed if just briefly. Small victories eh?
We live now not of months, weeks or even days but it feels like in 12 hour spans....soon it will be moments .
Sorry to hear SB.
It is one of the hardest things that life throws at us. I've been there twice a few years ago. My pops passed and a month later my mom passed. There was nothing my brother and myself could do other than spend as much time as we could beside them.
Be strong brother, your are in our thoughts and prayers.
Just be you and that's all you can do. Those few seconds of joy will stay with you as some of the goodtime that were still possible during a very difficult time in your life. For me, only 4 months from the day my mom passed, those little moments I remember as I'm going throughout my day bring a smile to my face. I'm glad I was there with her though all of the hard times and was able to make them a little better for her. And because I was with her though all those hard time I got to share some more moments like you had the other day with your mom.
Just think of how great that is for you mother. With everything going on You were able to get a laugh. I know its hard , but those small moments are only possible if you are there. Just try and allow those moments , those connections to happen if they can. That would be what I would tell myself if I could go back in time. That I should just make the best of the time we have. On the day my mom passed I felt this strange calmness and , just very different than I expected to feel. Don't worry about how you think You'll feel. Just let it happen and it will be what it is.
Just checking in again and hoping that everybody is doing OK. And let you all know I'm still praying and hoping for the best for everybody who has posted about their mothers in here.
I got a call from the Chaplin that works with the Hospice nurses that we had yesterday. They are having a memorial service for all the people that have helped pass over the past year. On Halloween, my Mom would be loving that they picked that date. She always said there was some connection to people who were in non physical as she called it, and Halloween. She and my older sister used to go and visit graves every year on Halloween.
It is nice that they have kept in touch, and it has surprised me that they all do really seem to care as much as they do. I hope that when the tough time comes, that you guys also have a great group of people around helping. While sometimes annoying, it is nice that they do stay in touch as long as they have. And it is nice to have somebody that is somewhat detached from my circle of family and friends that I'm able to talk to if I ever need to. Surprisingly , there are some things available for caregivers to help them after the caregiving stops. I find that just going out into the woods and being with nature helps me more than any of what they offer. But there are things there for people that can use them.
It is a very different feeling to be caring for somebody for years and then they pass. While I love my parents and grandmothers all so much. It hits differently when You have been there everyday and helping somebody to the level that the others that have posted in this thread are. If I had never been through it with my Mom, I don't know if I would understand as well. I'm sure its still very different for everybody, but as the time comes and you both go through it all. all I can say is that it will very likely feel much different from other losses.
For me its been filled with as many ups and downs as the period of caring for my mom. Relieved that she's not longer in any pain or trapped in her worn and tired body, But sad that she's gone and no longer there for so much. Happy that I'm able to focus more on what I would like to do after being unable to do what I wanted for so long. But so sad that I will not be able to share all of what I do with my Mother and father . And so on , on and on. The inner fight between sadness for the loss, and happiness for the freedom. It makes for some strange feelings. I still feel guilty sometimes when I'm happy about being able to do something. But then I remind myself that doing those things and being happy, is EXACTLY what my mom had asked me to do when she passed. She had asked me not to give them up while she was alive too, but that was not an option in a lot of cases. So that inner fight between happiness and sadness goes on. And hopefully, I can allow the happiness to win , I know its what my mother wants. And what I would want for her if things had been the other way around.
I think that any mother who raised their kids , that has their kids helping them at that stage of their lives would also want them to live a happy and fulfilling life after they pass. To not be sad that they are gone, but to be happy that they were there and that those great times happened that make the loss so hard. Again, wishing everybody who's reading this a hopeful and peaceful day.
Pit Row
Mom died last Friday at about 7:45 am.
The last couple days were rough on mom. Everything kind of went quick the last 12 days of her life.
I'm doing fine. I really don't have a lot to say at the moment but I think the realization that mom is gone will hit me in about 4-6 weeks.
Sorry Sandberm. RIP to your mom…💔
Sorry to hear that. Don't worry about having anything to say. I'm sorry if I made you feel like you had to post about it.
Sorry, Sandberm. You're right about the realization coming slowly; it doesn't seem real to me yet, either. (My dad passed on 8/25.)
You just have to be OK with that, too. There's no prescribed way you have to feel or deal with it. Just do what you have to do.
She was clearly a good mom if you cared about her so much. RIP.
Thanks Falcon, and Sasquatch and Banyon.
I'm usually a person who wants to share a bit but i find myself at peace and wanting to internalize this. Sharing would actually.....i struggle again with the words...cheapen my relationship that i had with my mom? Its personal i guess.
But, though I wasn't there for either parents last breath I was very much apart of the dieing process for each in the last 5 years of their life.
I had a nice conversation with my 32 year old step son last night about all this...He is an only child and will have to go it alone perhaps when I and his mother die and i promised I would make it as easy as I could on him as my mother and father did for me.
You’re a good dude and you make the world a better place.
No words. You guys are in our thoughts. ❤️❤️
Hope things are going well for you and your Mum ! Tell her I said hello.
The world could use more people like you Ezza! Please do not feel obligated to post on here, but remember that we are all here if you need us !
Thank you my friend(s).
Keep charging.
💪😌👍❤️💃
Mum had to go back to the hospital (in an ambulance) a few weeks ago and we were battling some other issues that although ending up being somewhat “minor”/treatable, caused a lot of concern and set us back a little.
I’m trying my best but doing almost everything on my own with the exception of my sister grocery shopping and visiting for an hour or two in the afternoons.
It’s funny how alone you actually are when things like this happen.
And to the cunt giving me thumbs down; how about you fuck right off. I wouldn’t be surprised if the landlord joined the forum just to do it the rotten piece of shit he is.
Keep charging.
Sorry to hear Mum had a setback Ezza! Bless you and of course Mum. 💯❤️
Is she still in hospital?
I can imagine how difficult it is to mostly go it alone. We go from having our moms take care of us to both being adults, then slowly or in your case suddenly, taking care of them.
I had a moment yesterday because of all things, my stupid deaf arthritic dog. It had me calling the vet to advocate if we could do something. It reminded me of moms last day when I was talking to the assisted care facilities nurse to give mom as much drugs for her anxiety as we could. It was soon going to be over obviously and I didn't want her to suffer unnecessarily. Things did not go as I thought they were going too or they should have for that matter.
I can't beat myself up over it and I do not want you too either Ezza. Learn from the past and look forward and do what you have to.
I pick up moms ashes next Monday.
Post a reply to: Please pray for my mum…