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Those nuts you see, hold down those little clamp thingys, which are actually little wedge thingys, which hold the wheel in place. To remove, pull off the nuts, remove the clamps, and the wheel comes off. In theory. HOWEVER, in some cases, the rim has been on a LONG time, and neither the clamps, nor the wheel, come off easily. There is however, a fix for this, and it's called a sledgehammer. You can see where I'm going with this. Now in this particular Mom and Pop tire shop, the owners son was fixing my tire, who I'll refer to as Bubba, is probably in his late teens, probably at 6 feet tall, about 200 pounds of raw muscle and sinew, incredibly eager to work, and as bright as a fencepost.
As young Bubba eagerly tackled his latest flat repair, I stood and watched, in a state of mild amusement. Perhaps only because he reminded me of ol' scooter 15 years previous, but that's not the point of this post. I watched him run and grab the 1" impact gun and run back the the trailer. I watched him scurry under the trailer and frantically jack it up, pumping furiously. He climbed out from underneath, covered in sweat and dust. Grabbing the big gun, Bubba attacked those wheel nuts, like the other Bubba attacked the Toronto SX last year. Those nuts came flying off, like a squirrel shucking a walnut for winter in October. He pulled on the tire feverishly, all of his muscle, sinew and 3 brain cells, couldn't budge that tire loose. The clamps were seized! Now, he runs for the sledgehammer, hurrying back to the trailer. At this point, I walk back about 20 feet, and to the extreme right of the wheel, parallel to the trailer itself. He positions himself in front of that wheel, and winds up like Paul Bunyan against the Might Oak, and lets 'er rip. Every last one of those clamps came off, at close to what I would estimate as the speed of sound. I say this, because as quick as he landed that hammer, one of those clamps hit him RIGHT in the shin, and he was on the ground screaming, doing the funky chicken. At this point, his father walked out to him, looked down, and said, "Son, you just learned a very valuable lesson, again. Leave the fuckin NUTS loose on the studs to hold the clamps on, like I told you to". He then turned and walked back into the shop.
internetkid, feel free to point this story out to your friend. Whether you do so before, or after whatever is likely to go wrong, after his flawed decision, is up to you.
"Son, you just learned a very valuable lesson, again. Leave the fuckin NUTS loose on the studs to hold the clamps on, like I told you to".
That was the best part.
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