What the hell was this?

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4/30/2018 7:58 PM

I had a burger and corn on the cob for dinner last night. I woke up about 3 hours later with a grumbling stomach. In about 5 minutes it turned into a cramp. Having had food poisoning before I knew where to go. I don't barf so this episode was entirely in the seated position. After about 3 or 4 minutes, the cramps got really bad and I started sweating like crazy. Then I got really dizzy. 2 or 3 more minutes went by and the volcano erupted. The cramps went away but I was still sweating and really dizzy. After about 5 minutes, I went back to my bed and laid down without a blanket. In a few minutes, I felt my body cool off, dizziness went away, cramps were already gone and the sweating had come to an abrupt halt. All symptoms were gone. I was asleep in 10 minutes. The whole thing lasted maybe 30 minutes, start to end.

WTF was that? Usually, food poisoning is an all nighter, or at least a few hours. This was weird.

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4/30/2018 8:52 PM
Edited Date/Time: 4/30/2018 8:53 PM

How old are you? I’m 58 and this shit happens for no particular reason. I just chalk it up to something hitting your system n a bad way and your body reacting the only way it knows how to....send you to the throne to get that shit out of you as quickly as possible

If it was food poisoning, like you said it would have lasted much longer and probably a little more intense

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4/30/2018 8:54 PM

Corn/diverticulitis?

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5/1/2018 6:28 AM

I get that from time to time , you get that grumble and think to yourself" hmmmm,I don't remember eating a pack of razor blades"

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5/1/2018 6:57 AM

Sounds like Taco Bell-itis

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Instagram: vanillaice782
Amateur helmet painter

5/1/2018 8:17 AM

Photo
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"Shifting gears and passing queers" GL

5/1/2018 9:09 AM

smashingpumpkins167 wrote:

Sounds like Taco Bell-itis

laughing laughing laughing
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5/1/2018 11:15 AM

Food allergy .

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5/1/2018 2:21 PM

Ah, I was going to guess that you went to a wing place where they only served you left wings, and it caused a violent reaction. wink

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5/1/2018 3:24 PM

Sounds like you had to shit....bad.

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GP740
Since 1987

5/1/2018 6:36 PM

GuyB wrote:

Ah, I was going to guess that you went to a wing place where they only served you left wings, and it caused a violent ...more

I eat left wings for lunch.

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5/1/2018 6:48 PM

LOL

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"Sorry Goose, but it's time to buzz the tower."

5/2/2018 10:23 AM

Yea that is really fast. Usually it's so long and death defying it raises once done ones opinion of how much horror one can endure.

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5/2/2018 10:55 AM

Montezuma's revenge.

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5/3/2018 6:44 PM

XXVoid MainXX wrote:

Montezuma's revenge.

I had Del Taco last night. No revenge. I like the actual Del Taco. It's pretty damn good for a buck and a half.

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5/4/2018 5:54 PM

Ever been over at a chick's house and get the emergency shits?
The trick is to do the simultaneous shit and flush- that avoids the noxious vapor cloud and the flush sounds covers up the ass explosion. You might have to flush multiple times but at least you won't stink the place up into next week.

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It's impossible for a corporation or government to love you or care about you.

5/4/2018 6:59 PM

NorCal 50+ wrote:

Ever been over at a chick's house and get the emergency shits?
The trick is to do the simultaneous shit and flush- that avoids ...more

You're doing it wrong. ALWAYS stink that bathroom up as much as you can. If she keeps you around after you know you have a good girl.

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5/4/2018 10:49 PM

borg wrote:

I had a burger and corn on the cob for dinner last night. I woke up about 3 hours later with a grumbling stomach. In about 5 ...more

Really weird you mention this. But about 1 month ago , I had some kind of stomach issue myself. backed up bad. About 2am on like night# 4 , needed to hit the bathroom. Tried extremely hard if you know what I mean. Within about 30 second , I was drenched in sweat. Like a puddle of water on the floor and was like I was standing under a sprinkler. Got super light headed to the point of almost passing out. Was holding onto the walls and got scared , so I called my neighbor at 2am , whom was a medic for 30 years. I was embarrassed as hell , but scared because I didn't know what was happening. I guess I just got backed up to the point , where when I was trying real hard to get something out.....there is a gland down there connected to a nerve. You squeeze so hard it can make you pass the hell out.

A person's body can do weird things , and react different to it compared to other. I believe what I had was a bug of some type. Because my medic neighbor ( who was kind enough to come over ) had the exact same thing happen to him 2 days later. Think he got what I had.

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And there goes Jeffro. One of God's own prototypes. A super high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

Pimpin' Ho's , Rollin' fatty's......drinkin' beers , beers , beers!! ~ Ja

5/4/2018 10:50 PM

GuyB wrote:

Ah, I was going to guess that you went to a wing place where they only served you left wings, and it caused a violent ...more

LMFAO!! laughing laughing

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And there goes Jeffro. One of God's own prototypes. A super high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

Pimpin' Ho's , Rollin' fatty's......drinkin' beers , beers , beers!! ~ Ja

5/5/2018 4:15 PM

Jeffro, the vagus nerve is what killed elvis i think. Blocked up by opiates, strained to shit, heart attack.

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5/5/2018 4:36 PM

Aceofspades wrote:

Jeffro, the vagus nerve is what killed elvis i think. Blocked up by opiates, strained to shit, heart attack.

I'll be damned. No kidding? I know I felt like I was gonna die at the time. I mean not really......but that had to be one of the weirdest experiences I've ever had.

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And there goes Jeffro. One of God's own prototypes. A super high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

Pimpin' Ho's , Rollin' fatty's......drinkin' beers , beers , beers!! ~ Ja

5/5/2018 5:10 PM

jeffro503 wrote:

I'll be damned. No kidding? I know I felt like I was gonna die at the time. I mean not really......but that had to be one of ...more

Don't push too hard.

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Instagram: vanillaice782
Amateur helmet painter

5/5/2018 6:49 PM

Myself, my wife and daughter came down with some gnarly flu/walking pneumonia bug. We are at the end of week three. It's been absolutely fucking brutal. I lost 10 pounds. The worst part is you have to keep taking care of the kid 24-7 while you're ripping sick. Ever change a diaper with a massive, delirious fever? Oh the fun. Finally got on antibiotics but this has been unreal.

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It's impossible for a corporation or government to love you or care about you.

5/5/2018 6:54 PM

Aceofspades wrote:

Jeffro, the vagus nerve is what killed elvis i think. Blocked up by opiates, strained to shit, heart attack.

Found lots of people dead on the shitter due to this. It is usually older less healthy people. It was always a bitch when they would fall over against the door or fall forward and block the door.

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The older I get, the faster I was.

5/5/2018 8:12 PM

Nothing beats a good shit.

Scooter will be in momentarily to paint a picture of his latest BM momentarily.

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