Thieving pricks

anniebertmojo wrote:

I had someone try to break into my house once (decent neighborhood in Southern California). I travel a lot so they had to be casing my...

I had someone try to break into my house once (decent neighborhood in Southern California). I travel a lot so they had to be casing my house and when I'm gone the dogs go to my parents house. So they thought they figured it out.

I came home a day early and got in really late one night (like 1 AM) instead of the following afternoon. So I'm laying in bed contemplating what time I should get up and head over to my parents house to pick up the dogs and I hear someone tying to jimmy the front door open. The house is dark except a small reading light in my bedroom. I look down the hall and I see a silhouette of somebody bent down trying to get in.

Mother Fcker... I said.

I put on a pair of shoes, threw on some shorts and a t-shirt then pulled my M1 Carbine out of the gun safe. Put the magazine in and snuck up to the door. I open the door suddenly, locked and loaded the thing with a big "CLA-CLUNK", put it in his face while he looked up in horror and I said, "You have 3 seconds... run or stay... you figure it out." That prick ran so fast he would of qualified for the Olympics.

Needless to say, no more issues anymore... I'm not your typical Southern Californian native. I like guns, I burn mass amounts of fossil fuel and I eat steak. I think they will leave me alone.

anniebertmojo wrote:

I had someone try to break into my house once (decent neighborhood in Southern California). I travel a lot so they had to be casing my...

I had someone try to break into my house once (decent neighborhood in Southern California). I travel a lot so they had to be casing my house and when I'm gone the dogs go to my parents house. So they thought they figured it out.

I came home a day early and got in really late one night (like 1 AM) instead of the following afternoon. So I'm laying in bed contemplating what time I should get up and head over to my parents house to pick up the dogs and I hear someone tying to jimmy the front door open. The house is dark except a small reading light in my bedroom. I look down the hall and I see a silhouette of somebody bent down trying to get in.

Mother Fcker... I said.

I put on a pair of shoes, threw on some shorts and a t-shirt then pulled my M1 Carbine out of the gun safe. Put the magazine in and snuck up to the door. I open the door suddenly, locked and loaded the thing with a big "CLA-CLUNK", put it in his face while he looked up in horror and I said, "You have 3 seconds... run or stay... you figure it out." That prick ran so fast he would of qualified for the Olympics.

Needless to say, no more issues anymore... I'm not your typical Southern Californian native. I like guns, I burn mass amounts of fossil fuel and I eat steak. I think they will leave me alone.

newmann wrote:

Mother F'r you say??? Couple years ago, middle of the day, I head over to drop a few things off at a townhouse project I was...

Mother F'r you say???

Couple years ago, middle of the day, I head over to drop a few things off at a townhouse project I was finishing up. Unlock the door and head in, turn the corner and there is a skinny black man naked in the bath tub kicked back and relaxed. Motherf'r!! He freaked and started to jump up. I shouted at him to "don't f'n move"!

He tells me he got kicked out of his house and noticed no one was living in this one so he came in through a window. Looked like he had been there through the weekend. I told him I was going to walk outside and give him exactly 30 seconds to GTFO before I called the police. I walked out the front and he hauled ass out the rear. I know he didn't have time to dry off or put any clothes on so that had to have been a sight for anyone outside to see. Funny shit, looking back.