Posts
11631
Joined
1/3/2010
Location
Norwich, KS
US
Edited Date/Time
9/19/2021 12:59pm
As I write this, I have to question my sanity. I'm gonna open up to this board that I know is full of folks that run the gamut from psycho to saint. Fuck it...here goes.
My mom passed on Friday night. We've had hospice in for about a month so this wasn't a surprise but the finality was still a bit of a shock. That's it...finished....done...if you didn't say it, it's too late now.
I watched as the rest of the family cried and sobbed. I was pretty much emotionless. Just planning next steps...coroner, cremation, memorial...the next steps.
I had time to reflect today and remembered that I had the same emotionless reactions when all my other close family members passed. No tears just...write the eulogy, call the funeral home, contact the insurance companies....etc.
My family sees my emotionless reaction and thinks I am some sort of cold, heart of stone bastard. I will say that while I don't express emotion...physically, I'm a wreck. Sweats, diarrhea, anxiety, panic. I know they also experience those things but they also cry and wretch.
I feel pain and loss but it just doesn't come out in a way that others can see and connect with. Here's the question to you fuckers...am I a freak or just one of many?
My mom passed on Friday night. We've had hospice in for about a month so this wasn't a surprise but the finality was still a bit of a shock. That's it...finished....done...if you didn't say it, it's too late now.
I watched as the rest of the family cried and sobbed. I was pretty much emotionless. Just planning next steps...coroner, cremation, memorial...the next steps.
I had time to reflect today and remembered that I had the same emotionless reactions when all my other close family members passed. No tears just...write the eulogy, call the funeral home, contact the insurance companies....etc.
My family sees my emotionless reaction and thinks I am some sort of cold, heart of stone bastard. I will say that while I don't express emotion...physically, I'm a wreck. Sweats, diarrhea, anxiety, panic. I know they also experience those things but they also cry and wretch.
I feel pain and loss but it just doesn't come out in a way that others can see and connect with. Here's the question to you fuckers...am I a freak or just one of many?
Sorry for your loss.
The Shop
When my dad died a year or so ago, it was the end of his pain and the end of a good life. Relief. Finality rather than ongoing pain.
All good.
yep I've lost both my parents in the last 18 mo.s
Poor Mom was in a Dementia home for 7 yrs and when I traveled to Cal to see my Dad visiting her was REALLY DEPRESSING..... Did not want her to live like that so in my mind she was gone for awhile.
I'm in my Dad's home where I grew up as I type this and both their ashes are next to each other. Have to wait for my sister and brother to all meet so we can spread the ashes and hopefully have some sort of Celebration of Life then with relatives. Probably won't be until the New yr.
There have been times I've thought of both of them and got emotional as I miss them and wish I had spent more time with them.
When I did this for my Best Friend Don who died of cancer a few yrs back the best advise I can give is to pause and take DEEP BREATHS when you feel the emotions over coming you....
You can get through it and make your Mom proud.....
Condolences on your loss...
I’m sorry for your loss man.
It doesn't look like much but that's my distraction. A 12' x 8' storage for yard equipment.
Pit Row
It was like watching your mom drown in the ocean for four weeks abs you are just watching from the pier. Absolutely brutal. And I disagree completely with not letting loved ones in to see each other. That’s another topic though.
My mom was my best friend, biggest fan, and well just an awesome Mom and loved grandmother. She passed at age 67. Too young.
I’m grieving big time. Some days I can spend 20 hours in bed. I still handle what I need to do. But joy is absent in my life right now. I’m not even sure how to grieve.
I live in a denial / bad nightmare stage. Still doesn’t feel real. My mom was at the center of our life. This is a huge change and my spirit hurts.
I started a 15 week grief counseling class at Church. Just had our first session and it was crazy how on point it was for how I’m feeling.
It’s so odd how the world moves on, but for me, the world is not the same anymore.
My advice would be don’t bottle/suppress your feelings. Talk about it with a friend, counselor, etc. The worst thing is to try and process it on your own.
Just my opinion.
Sorry for your loss brother.
1 -1/8” thumb cutters go all the way down to 1/8” copper. Shut the water off, cut out the section and install both couplings. Cut it long to give yourself some play. Cut the pex square with a pair of Pex cutters and push out in bottoming it out completely in the coupling. You’ll know when you bottom it out. If you’re able to solder copper get appropriately sized SWT X PEX adapters. Home Depot carries a tool for crimping the rings. Ask for the ratchet tool and ask the clerk to show you how to use it with the appropriate crimp ring.I believe they’re stainless steel Shark bite crunk rings with tabs and the fittings will be brass. Any other questions feel free to reach out. Shark bite couplings help in a bind. I’ve used them for quick repairs. I helped a friend out 9 years ago and they’re still holding.
God bless to you and your family at these times. Really made me think if I lost my Mom, as you say, best friend and fan, Moms always look out for you. Cannot imagine but hope you get through this as well as can be expected.
Take care and will say some prayers. God bless to you and your family.
Sending prayers to you and anyone else who is in this difficult position.
As for the daughter moving back in....count your blessings. The breakup aspect sucks bollocks, but look at the positive...you'll get to spend more time with her. (Wish I could with mine.....although I'd rather neither one had to deal with a big breakup).
At any rate...these times we're in....just effin' crazy at times. Just dont forget....you're part of a community here. Us moto brothers do not leave each other high and dry. We're here for you.
My mother was partly insane and to make matters worse she drank waaay to much. She set our house alight once, another time she emptied a CZ 75 9mm at me at me in the house. Another time she let loose with a R1 assualt rifle at me in a confined area (dining room and lounge) fortunately she was pissed and missed me but the lounge was trashed. My dad had to restrain her and call the cops.
I hated going to school. Coming from a small village everyone knew.
To get away I joined the army. Ended up in the border war against the Swapo and Cubans...saw to much to young which to this day effects me.
I'm 50 and my struggle continues. If it were not for my two lovely daughters I would have used the rope long time ago.
I'm dependent on tablets....Bromazepam - Bromazepam, sold under many brand names, is a benzodiazepine. It is mainly an anti-anxiety agent with similar side effects to diazepam. In addition to being used to treat anxiety or panic states, bromazepam may be used as a premedicant prior to minor surgery. They help take the edge off.
You are not alone. Most of us have issues.
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