Help Getting Over Long Term Relationship!

I'm still hanging in there, continuing to go through all the grieving phases. I did start to get my apatite back and I managed to survive xmas and new years, they were really just another day for me and I tried not to think about it too much. I have been going to the gym, I even tried yoga a couple times and I'm trying to force myself to get out more but with covid restrictions in Canada it's getting tougher to do so, winter here doesn't help either. As a shy introverted person I still find it a challenge to put myself out there especially when I'm still trying to find my own way. I did reconnect with an old friend and also made a new one, I hung out with them on new years eve so it was nice not to spend that alone.

I may have a job lined up although it's not ideal I'm just trying to make ends meet for now so hopefully I can keep my house. I'm also doing some testing tomorrow for another possible job opportunity. I continue to get professional help for my mental health and it's on an ongoing process. The odd time I can step back and look at where I am now and I can see some progress I have made, I'm checking off the boxes and putting the effort in but at the same time I also still continue to feel the struggle, still struggle to feel any joy or smile, still get moments of overwhelming thoughts, still feel like I could be doing more...but I'm always hard on myself.

Thank you to those who continue to check in with me and thanks for listening to my ramblings. I really hope this post can help other people who are going through the same thing and I really hope someday I can come back here and truly say I'm in a much better place.

I wanted to share this picture I found, this is no way a religious post as I am not a religious person so please ignore that part of the picture. When I first seen this it hit me really hard, it's literally how I was feeling. It just started to make me think what is that last little bit trying to pick me up, to keep me from falling all the way down, what is it inside me? I guess somewhere deep down it's a small glimmer of hope that maybe some day things will get better for me. I hope that resonates with someone reading this who is going through the same thing because I really thought I was done, I felt nothing, I felt no hope, but...call it primal, call it whatever you want because I sure as hell don't know what it is but there was something that kept me going when I didn't think it was possible. Don't get me wrong, it's not all better and I have a long ways to go but hopefully reading this it gives you hope, even if you don't see or feel it in the moment please let some time pass by and give yourself a chance, reach out for help, to people you trust, to professionals, understand that not everyone you talk to will necessarily understand you or what you're going through but don't let that deter you, just keep reaching out until you find the ones who do because we are out there.