Best pick up lines?

I was always too drunk to remember which ones worked.

"I drive an R8"

Wanna screw around?

Either it'll work or it won't, but at least you won't waste time finding out.

"You probably can't cook and would be a terrible mother"

Can't get them away from you after that.

"Where were you four years ago?"

"Hello"

"How would you like to go in 50/50 on a bastard child?"

Lick your finger and touch their sleeve and say "Let's get you out of those wet clothes."

It sure seems like the less you try the higher the success rate!
TM

You look like you'd make a great single mother.

"You have a kind-of-chin"

Her- " A kind-of-chin?"

"A kind of chin I'd like to bounce my nuts off of"

Works every time...jk

Lucky Harry? Wtf Lmao!!!!

Heh.

Maybe if they are interested in being mulled by a black bear.

Hey lucky, I still fuggin laughing!

Of course they are. Most girls wanna man to be a man. Trust me. Afterwards, I show my gentle side by letting them trim off enough to send in to be made into a few wigs for the less fortunate among us.

Good on ya Uncle T! Thank you!

Waitress : You know what you want for desert?

Myself : YOU!!!!!!

It worked like a charm. Also helped that she was flirting with me the entire meal.

One sperm was talking to another sperm "how much longer until we get to the egg?"
oh, a long time, we're only in the esophagus right now.

It's been a long, long time but one thing I learned is pick up lines dont really work. They've already made up their minds but want us to think we did something. Unless of course the line is stupid enough to make them change their minds.

"nice shoes, wanna f#ck?" Was my fav back in the college years....

Ole lucky Harry Backmon might be on to something, Burt didn't need any pick up lines back in the 70's, dude was a chick magnet back in the day and he looked like a damn woolly mammoth

The best one ever:

"What?"



You have to be able to spit game starting immediately, however.

Any chance you got this from the tv show psych? It immediately makes me picture burtun Guster

No I didn't and I never seen that show "psych", hello always seemed to work for me back in my women chasing days, those days are long gone, I'm old and broken now but still race a 500 two stroke, although when I got my Kawasaki I started mixing maxima 927 with race fuel and girls started hanging around my pits again

Ehhhh,i'm still not sold , i don't think woman want a man who is one hot spark away from going up in flames.

Old faithful, My friends used to pick on me so much because of my off the wall line I used to play. Spitting game, playing it cool, none of it matters if you can't close. I have the best line for closing because it has worked so many times in so many different situations. My favorite is when you are playing nice because it catches them so off guard from way out in left field. Just tell them you want to bite their ass. Plain and simple. It cuts to the chase and used right will knock any girl off her game of BS.
You got a chic playing games with ya? Just use it! what do you have to lose? You go to the after party with them, you meet this person, you go to this gas station to buy beer and get food, then they want to go here......STOP! Say ok, then I'm going to bite your ass, because I really want to bite your ass. But I'm with my friends...NOPE, I just want to bite your ass, I don't care who bites theirs.
Picking a girl over her friends.... Done deal.

It works on girls you already know and gets them right out of the friend zone. Light conversation, then just through it out, Hey, you might want to stay away from me tonight. Why? Because I'm drinking tonight and right now I really want to bite your ass. They will be over to see you 10 times before the night is over. All problems solved, friend zone...gone.

One of my favorites is big purse girl. Ask her if she has Gatoraid and a sweat towel in there. No....(confused look) Well, if I'm going to bite your ass your going to need it.

Stealing girls... My boyfriend this... my boyfriend that.. Does he bite your ass? Don't be rubbing up on me because I'll bite your ass.

It just solves so many problems and gets everything up front. Used in the right situation, it works damn near every time.

I generally go with the bitch out and say nothing strategie. It's generally not very effective though, so 0/10 rating.

Is that a keg in your pants because I want to tap that ass

I got a Hemi

It may be short and skinny, but it sure doesn't last long.

You have any Indian in you? Would you like some?