Wear Knee Braces

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3/12/2018 6:14 PM

For your pleasure (hopefully) a moto version of oft parodied 'Wear Sunscreen' speech... smile


Ladies and gentlemen of the class of '18: Wear knee braces.

If I could offer you only one tip for the future, knee braces would be it. The long-term benefits of knee braces have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of moto. Oh, never mind. You will not understand the power and beauty of moto until it has faded. But trust me, in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and tilt them slightly to simulate a whip and will recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fa(s)t as you imagine.

Don't worry about your inability to whip. Or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum. The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind, the kind that blind side you at 4 PM on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Race.

Don't be reckless with other people's bikes. Don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Mix gas.

Don't waste your time on starts when all you do is practice. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The ‘race’ is long but, in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive. Forget the insults. If you succeed in doing this, tell the forum how.

Keep your old riding photos. Throw away your collection of tweaked handlebars that you will never use again, even in an emergency.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you start thinking enduro might be a better option than moto. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their bikes. Some of the most interesting 40-year-olds I know still don't.

Set your sag.

Be kind to your knees. You'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll stick with moto, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll keep following the forum after you stop riding, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll quit at 40, maybe you'll dance the huck-a-buck on your 75th birthday. Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself either. Your nose wheelies in the pits are half chance. So are everybody else's.

Enjoy your bike. Use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or of what other people think of it. It's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Ride, even if you have nowhere to do it but Amago.

Read the directions, even if you don’t do any maintenance.

Do not read Moto GP magazines. They will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents. You never know when their financial support will be gone.

Be nice to your bro’s. They're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that pit posers come and go, but with a precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people who knew you to corroborate your stories of being fast.

Live in Corona once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Temecula once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: Bike prices will rise. Factory riders will philander. You, too, will get old. And when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, carburetors were noble, and fans appreciated SX announcers.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect Monster to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund. Maybe you have Yamabucks. But you never know when either might run out.

Don't mess too much with your powerband, or by the time you're 40 it will look 85.

Be careful whose parts you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Bling is a form of nostalgia. Purchasing bling is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and then selling the bike for less than it was worth.

But trust me on the knee braces.

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3/12/2018 6:22 PM

Bravo! cool

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3/12/2018 9:04 PM

Not gonna lie. That was a very enjoyable read!??

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3/12/2018 9:59 PM

Very nice. I like.

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Life's a garden, dig it.

1996 CR250R
2016 YZ450F
2001 Suzuki Bandit 600
Coleman BT200x

3/13/2018 12:25 AM

i like!

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3/13/2018 12:43 AM

Am I the only one that read this in Morgan Freeman's voice?

Great read and some classic one liners in there!

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3/13/2018 1:34 AM

"Don't feel guilty if you start thinking enduro might be a better option than moto" laughing

Classic, well done that man!.

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2020.5 KTM Cairoli Factory Edition 5.7hrs
2019 Alta Redshift MXR - 0.9hrs!.
2020 KTM 250 SX 5hrs.

imoto34 wrote:
Look at all that torque. The kid on the lawnmower may have laughed so hard he shat his pants.

3/13/2018 1:59 AM

But knee braces always made my knees hurt more than they did before I strapped them on? Wish I had more old riding photos though...and I do respect my elders even though I'm an elder myself now.

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3/13/2018 3:55 AM

I'm 52. great advice

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3/13/2018 6:56 AM

Here's the original that did the rounds years ago, with a tidbit of interesting trivia: http://www.planetgary.com/sunscreen.htm

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3/13/2018 10:58 AM

laughing laughing laughing laughing laughing
Bravo!

"Ride, even if you have nowhere to do it but Amago. "
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Braaapin' aint easy.

3/13/2018 11:04 AM

Awesome!

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Vital Mx is not safe...

3/13/2018 11:47 AM

Spectacular!

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3/13/2018 2:40 PM

This is too well crafted for the forum..hahaha

Nice job.

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