Posts
41
Joined
12/28/2015
Location
Fountain Hills, AZ
US
Edited Date/Time
1/28/2020 9:13pm
Hi All,
I've just had a loved one recently was told he won't be able to move his left leg below the knee for the rest of his life. My question is- how did you cope in those beginning days? What helped? What really pissed you off? Sports psychiatrists? Books? Tell me!
What would did you want from those close to you? How can we help best?
It's so hard for a strong, physically active and independent men to come to grips with their new, more dependent roles in their life.
Thanks in advance and much love. -Kyle
I've just had a loved one recently was told he won't be able to move his left leg below the knee for the rest of his life. My question is- how did you cope in those beginning days? What helped? What really pissed you off? Sports psychiatrists? Books? Tell me!
What would did you want from those close to you? How can we help best?
It's so hard for a strong, physically active and independent men to come to grips with their new, more dependent roles in their life.
Thanks in advance and much love. -Kyle
Best of luck to him. If he's a moto guy have him stop in to chat.
It's all the same, but different.
Got the T shirt.
Just don't quit.
I know all circumstances are different, but bring your loved one as much positive energy as you can. Let them know of folks who have been through the same situations who made the most of it, prove to them that it can be OK and give them hope. I will never forget a guy coming in to see my as I laid there in the ICU, his face still paralyzed on one side, and would be that way likely forever, but the guy was built like a rock, found faith, and was so happy to tell me if I tried, things could be OK (like he was). Reassurance and hope can make miracles happen.
I am sorry for your loved ones struggles, good on you for doing what you can.
The Shop
Human bodies and minds are incredibly adaptable. He’ll need to find a way to stay active.
My heart goes out to not only those young men who have been injured...but also to those who love, support and care for them.
For people close to me. No one could understand that place i was in, of being able to kind of move my legs and barely able to stand with aid, and then expect me to just be 'fine' and walk with no issues. My dad would say to me, well you were walking at rehab today why do you need to bring your chair.. and it would be like. Yes i walked, with lots of support from walkers and weight harnesses and dr's helping and that drained my energy to attempt walking later that day.. so i had days where i wished, i had a complete injury and no ability.
Anyways, sorry for the long post..I could go on forever.. feel free to hit me up with some questions
When most people think of paralysis, they just think you can't walk. They don't realize the biggest issue we face is actually things like bowel & bladder control, urinary tract infections that routinely put us in the hospital, pressure sores, leg and stomach spasms that make you feel like you're being punched in the gut. I work a 9-5 job as a real estate underwriter so each day getting dressed is a struggle, lifting myself in and out of my truck and breaking down my chair is a struggle, my left shoulder has a major rotator cuff tear and bicep tendon tear that hurts like hell at the end of each day but I can't get the surgery to fix it because I can't afford to be off work for the 6 months it will take for full recovery. I don't get disability because I make more than the limit is allowed at my day job. The problems run much, much deeper than people realize.
My best advice? Have that person read my post so they understand how lucky they are to only have an issue with their lower leg and can still do so many things people stuck in chairs can't. Sounds crude but personally when I'm feeling down I just remember all the guys I know who are paralyzed from the neck down and can't do half the things I still can and it makes me feel very grateful. I still love life and make the best of things. And I'll tell you right now, if I walked again tomorrow the first thing I'd do is buy a new bike and go straight back to riding.
I am always in awe of the people who take a condition such as paralysis and move on with life. It must be really hard to do. Big props to you guys.
Not a whole lot to add except to treat him the same way you did before his accident, as if nothing has changed. Easier said than done i know, but he will appreciate it in the long run.
I've been paralyzed for 16 years chest down. It could always be worse. Pm me if you want to ask any question..
I don’t know the severity of your shoulder injury, but is it beyond PRP as an alternative to surgery? I tore my right shoulder up, and had a few rounds of PRP injections (with PT/OT) in lieu of surgery, and the results have been really good fairly quick
He the bought a 08 YZ250F, rode that for a few years and then upgraded to a 17 KTM 350sxf. it is set up with a rekluse auto clutch and a left hand rear brake. It's amazing to see him shuffle over to his bike, get on, with assistance until he gets tired and motor off. He goes a lot faster than you would think for a guy with no cage. He's wrecked and been injured but he keeps comng back.
Another friend was injured in a moped accident in Mexico as a kid. It was so wrecked the doctors removed the fibula. He uses a brace but without it his leg would flop around. He still rides, uses one of those pit bike boots and a good shin guard.
All this blah, blah, blah so you can pass on to your friend that if he really want's to suck it up, there's no reason not to give it a try.
And for the OP, like the one guy said people would love to be as healthy as your friend is. It’s new so it’s a shock for him. But as long as that’s his only issue he will learn to cope and will be back to normal mentally or stronger sooner than you think. Just be for there for him if he needs you. And If he’s like me sometimes he may just want to be left alone.
Pit Row
Like you said it comes down to you either will or won't. You either give up or get going.
The main reason why recovery for me would be 6 months is because I use my left shoulder for a lot of heavy lifting. I'm 6'1 tall and about 195 lbs but I drive a Ram 1500 truck so I use my left arm to lift my entire body up into the seat then have to lean down to lift up my chair and take it apart to put in the passenger seat. I would have my truck lowered but it's a bit expensive to by the parts. I did it with my last truck when I was a teenager with disposable income and it was like $1500 in parts & labor mostly because the front control arms.
I also mostly use my left arm for lifting myself in and out of bed, the shower, the toilet, the couch, etc. I wouldn't be able to do all of this for about 6 months after surgery and going on disability to cover my bills won't cut it. My fiance is a paramedic so she can help me but she works full time and can't always be there to help me for that long.
Just my $.02. You seem like a good NorCal dude, so weren’t sure if you were tracking 🤷🏻♂️
Were you around in the late 90's up to 2001? I used to ride all the time out at Hangtown, Marysville Riverfront & E Street, Mammoth Bar, Argyl Park, Club Moto in Livermore, and Sac Raceway for the Friday night SX. I had the Splitfire KX 80/85 and we drove in a big white box van.
However I must respectfully disagree on you final statement. Although I do respect whatever people need to use to lift them selves up but I’m not an advocate for looking at people worse than you and then deciding how lucky you are. The Level Envy is real in the dissabled community, this is when people with higher level injuries are demoralised by seeing people with lower level injuries do more. I’m a T10 paraplegic but I’m really conscious and aware when I’m around others who may hav higher injuries than me, they can issues with their hands and strength and I’m aware how bad level envy can be. But at no point do I ever in my mind go ‘well you have it worse than me so I’m gonna use your worse injury as my source of happiness and hope’
I have also done all the action sports I can, I still ride a bike and am looking at getting a mtb and have recently got into prone surfing. And I am definitely becoming aware that it’s somehow both a search for adrenaline, and some way of ‘proving’ my ability regardless of the disability. This has led me to think through what and why I do things.
I work as a uni lecturer and in the film industry so I think luckily it’s not a pure 9-5 job because I’m not sure if I could manage - I could easily work 3x12hr days in a row and then need a break for a few days, but 9-5 every week I would probably collapse.
To be honest I’m not sure what the answer is but for me rather than reveling in what you can do more than people worse off, revel in what you can do full stop. And the biggest thing I’ve learnt is the importance of a team, not so much for day to day things but for larger projects or activities or whatever. Find your tribe and you will be able to do more as a team than you ever could by yourself before your accident. But you also have to realise that like in all teams you need to bring something to the table, find your skills, it could be mechanical, creative, bein a funny mother fucker. I have a big car so I’m almost always the one driving anywhere when we go as a group. Find what you can offer and I garauntee you can offer so much. It’s really about what you can give, and if you see someone worse off don’t think ‘lucky me’ think, can I do anything for them - they probably have it under control and it’s all good but just the the mindset difference is important. I know in sound very much like RyanHughes and he’s a fucking lunatic.
And if anyone comes up to pray for you punch them in the throat. It is honestly the most offensive thing anyone can do.
Not only that but it re iterates a stereotype that dissabled people neeeed to be prayed for. I can be going about my day havin a good old day and a member of the Christian cult will just remind me that I am not normal I am broke and I need their prayers...
And as you just did then, completely disregard my and other dissabled peoples feelings on the matter. You assume it’s possitive and disregard reasoning why it isn’t.
I’ve been stopped by I’ll advised people just impressed by what I’m doing, going shopping, eating a kebab, whatever - and at least they are impressed by what I can do. The Christians that pray are only doing it to re iterate what I can’t do... ‘hey look this person can’t do as much as me let’s point that out and fix it with our prayers that will make them feel better’
It’s objectively offensive on so many levels man so many levels
Post a reply to: To all those who've been paralyzed (or had a loved one become paralyzed)