Mx-D-N handicapping ... putting the DRUNK into the 'Nations

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9/29/2018 10:04 AM
Edited Date/Time: 9/29/2018 10:07 AM

So I was talking to a friend that's heading to what one can only describe as the global human zoo of motocross. He was genuinely concerned about how we (Murican's) were going to fare against the world's best. So here we go ...

France ... not a chance in hell, these lightweights will be toast after three chardonnay's and a fizzy water

Japan ... you ever see the size of those saki cups?! Yeah not seein a win there

South America ... lumped all together because they're all busy selecting the next Miss Universe or get into our country to focus on drinkin... and thank you for her cool

Now we get into the heavy hitters

England ... the birthplace of modern "motocross" I see a real challenge from these "blokes" never afraid to down there share of pints though our brews will throw them off their game

Belgium ... here's an early podium favorite, consistently running towards the front consuming copius amoints of heffen weiss, which I can't stand, but again it's the availability of Hacker Pschorr that may trip them up

Australia ... hooo-leee shit these loonies will drink ANYTHING but that 22hr flight will definitely hamper their game (I think...)

Ireland ... until I started thinki g about this list I had these drunk bastards takin the win as I'm one by distant relations and know some family history

Then it dawned on me ...

Russia ... Oh My God ! ! ! Ok if ... and it's a BIG "IF" ... but if they show up "en masse" the rest of you countries are fucked ! You poor sons-uh-bitches have no idea what you're in for ....

So here's the top three "Moto Drunk Nations" as I see it ...

1. Russia
2. Ireland
3. Tie Belgium and USA (hey we podium'd shut up)

Honorable mention to Greece and Scandinavia

Congratulations to the winners sick and good luck ...

Get a cab.

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9/29/2018 10:17 AM

Haha! Good stuff

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9/29/2018 10:34 AM

Leaving Canada off the MXDrunkNation list... what is this? Amateur hour? That flavored water you guys call beer will go down easier than a drunk chick at a frat party. Russia and Ireland will pose a challenge.

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Washed up Canadian ex-pro couch racer. Selling bikes for a living

2003 KTM 125SX
2009 KTM 450SX
2016 YFZ450R


9/29/2018 10:37 AM

The Germans will throw down as well!

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9/29/2018 10:40 AM

Renner153 wrote:

The Germans will throw down as well!

German beer drinks like a meal. you get full before you get drunk!

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Washed up Canadian ex-pro couch racer. Selling bikes for a living

2003 KTM 125SX
2009 KTM 450SX
2016 YFZ450R


9/29/2018 11:16 AM
Edited Date/Time: 9/29/2018 11:19 AM

I believe Lithuanians actually drink the most alcohol per person in the world. And it's not even close. Lucky they aren't going.

Found link: https://index.qz.com/986313/last-year-the-average-lithuanian-drank-910-glasses-of-beer/

Other sources put Belarus as the top

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A Year In MX: One Man, One Year, One Sport
All 13 MX races on US soil
http://www.ayearinmx.com

9/29/2018 11:23 AM

I'll do my bit for the Aussies, I'll be on my liquid diet at the nation's w00t

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9/29/2018 12:42 PM

This is the best post I’ve seen in weeks!! Funny as Hell?????

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9/29/2018 1:57 PM

I've been taking the randy marsh approach training for the mxdn.

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9/29/2018 2:02 PM
Edited Date/Time: 9/29/2018 2:04 PM

Belgium is known for it's high alcohol ass kicking trappist monk brewed beers (8-15%+ ABV).... It's the Germans who prefer the Weiss (wheat) beers, which for the most part are usually the same alcohol content as american beers (5-6% ABV)

Belgium for the win IMO

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Positively, absolutely 110% obsessed with anything MOTO.

9/29/2018 2:14 PM
Edited Date/Time: 9/29/2018 2:20 PM

KMC440 wrote:

So I was talking to a friend that's heading to what one can only describe as the global human zoo of motocross. He was ...more

You forget all of the scandinavians and germans. Heaviest drinkers in the world ^^. Usa shouldnt even be on the list when American beer is more water than beer. I means bud light etc its frigging girl drinks. Here in northern europe a normal beer is at least 5.3% alcohol (up to 12%) and more often than not at least twice as big (50cl) and way more malty ^^. And not to forget that the finns and swedes are more or less raised on moonshine vodka and are really heavy drinkers ?

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9/29/2018 2:31 PM

Entertaining for sure!

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9/29/2018 2:36 PM

F150Motocrosser wrote:

Belgium is known for it's high alcohol ass kicking trappist monk brewed beers (8-15%+ ABV).... It's the Germans who prefer the ...more

Agree with all of this. Would take Belgians any day of the week in drinking contests over Germans. They're used to the high octane brews instead of pilsners, weisses and dunkels. Bruges has an honest to God beer pipeline!!!!

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Nick
-2015 Grom grocery getter
-2011 Road King Classic
-2010 WR250X supermoto

9/29/2018 2:53 PM

KMC440 wrote:

So I was talking to a friend that's heading to what one can only describe as the global human zoo of motocross. He was ...more

Rs444 wrote:

You forget all of the scandinavians and germans. Heaviest drinkers in the world ^^. Usa shouldnt even be on the list when ...more

Swedish Forest Star, the Finns don’t dilute to 47%. Don’t accept a kaffe kask from a Finn,

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“If you don’t crash alot, you just ain’t going fast enough” Chandler

9/29/2018 3:10 PM

You forgot the Welsh, they really don't give a f@#k!

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9/29/2018 3:45 PM

bh84 wrote:

Leaving Canada off the MXDrunkNation list... what is this? Amateur hour? That flavored water you guys call beer will go down ...more

Canadas (mainstream) beer is shit though.

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9/29/2018 3:58 PM

bh84 wrote:

Leaving Canada off the MXDrunkNation list... what is this? Amateur hour? That flavored water you guys call beer will go down ...more

Yup, even Coors is 5% there. I think people just don't realize what alkies they are cuz they are too fkng drunk all the time to cause any trouble so we never hear anything about them and their hard boozin ways. Hell, if I lived in the land of eternal twilight, I'd be so friggen depressed from never seein a full day of sunlight that I'd be unconscious as much as I possibly could too!

.

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9/29/2018 4:05 PM
Edited Date/Time: 10/1/2018 2:00 AM

Careful, it's not just England. It's Great Britain, that includes the Scots, the Welsh, the northern Irish and the English, all battling together for the win. The only problem is they might take each other out, they are known for their in fighting and don't always stick together. Team GB might just pull it off.

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9/29/2018 4:06 PM

If Munich Oktoberfest says anything, don't discount the Aussies ability to piss themselves....literally

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9/29/2018 4:07 PM
Edited Date/Time: 9/29/2018 4:08 PM

Rs444 wrote:

You forget all of the scandinavians and germans. Heaviest drinkers in the world ^^. Usa shouldnt even be on the list when ...more

I started a trip on switzerland then went thru germany and france to england. Yes, some of the swiss and german beers have fairly high alcohol content which helps give them that thick, rich flavor. I almost gagged and hurled the first time i finally got to england and had a beer from a tap, which tasted like it was probably 1.5% at it's best after. drinking 6.0 beer for the last 2 weeks. Oddly enough, I asked several different people in england why their beer had so little alcohol, and they all told me that it was because they get crazy when they get drunk so the government keeps the level lower than other countries. Of course some of their bottled beer has around 4% but it was just an odd thing to hear, lol.

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9/29/2018 4:44 PM

Good luck trying to out drink Finnish people If you run into any lol

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9/29/2018 4:51 PM

KMC440 wrote:

So I was talking to a friend that's heading to what one can only describe as the global human zoo of motocross. He was ...more

Rs444 wrote:

You forget all of the scandinavians and germans. Heaviest drinkers in the world ^^. Usa shouldnt even be on the list when ...more

Yup US doesn't even get on the podium.

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9/29/2018 6:08 PM

And then tequila shows up .....
Everybody OUT !

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9/30/2018 2:56 AM

Do a Bonnie! (David Boon) on the flight over.

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9/30/2018 3:26 AM
Edited Date/Time: 9/30/2018 3:30 AM

I disagree with your top 3. First 5 countrys don't have a team to line up. So it's going to be Belgium first, Estonia second, and let's say Russia third
whistling

Photo

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Power is nothing without control

9/30/2018 6:44 AM

I’d have to say GB for the win. The British are binge drinking specialists.. and when you get the Scots, English, Welsh and Irish together, they start competing with each other.. I’ve been there and seen it..lol

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"Nothing happens until something moves"

9/30/2018 7:57 AM

Mucktub wrote:

Careful, it's not just England. It's Great Britain, that includes the Scots, the Welsh, the northern Irish and the English, ...more

True, if it turns in to a bit of inter-team rival Team GB could be unstoppable, we don't really have a specific national tipple these days but that means we have a wide range of alcoholic experience

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9/30/2018 9:51 PM

Laughing my butt off. This should be in the... Hall Of Fame. Good job KMC.

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There's something happening here, what it is ain't exactly clear.

10/1/2018 1:54 AM
Edited Date/Time: 10/1/2018 1:55 AM

South Africa is fielding a Drinking team, Pit Bike team and a Nations Team. We will win one of these events.

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10/1/2018 4:13 AM

If I bring my ex girlfriend with, everyone will be drinking for second.

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