Life/moto advice?

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7/19/2018 9:32 PM

I’m gonna preface this by saying some of you might call me entitled, whiny, complaining, etc. I am trying to be as humble as possible while still being truthful.

I’m 21 years old live in the USA. I love motocross, it is my obsession and it also basically saved my life. I started riding when I was 14 which pulled me out of deep depression, gave me something to strive for, and introduced me to lifelong friends that have changed my life in ways I had never thought possible. Last year I finally started to feel like I was gaining some serious skill and confidence, and it was the best feeling ever. It renewed my addiction.

Unfortunately, my family has some problems. Both my mom and dads extended families have their own dysfunction which caused my mom and dad to have some emotional problems. My mother is insecure and controlling and has the propensity to be narcissistic and my dad has some emotional baggage.

Now you maybe thinking “I don’t give a fuck about your parents mental health issues kid” and that is understandable but it is relevant to the next part of my story.

Being my parents kid I developed some self esteem issues early in life a which led to major panic attacks and OCD which led to me being ostracized by my “friends” and I allowed myself to become deeply depressed and hopeless, which is where motocross pulled me back.

Now, I am not living with my parents, I am living with an aunt and uncle who saw that I needed to get away from that situation. I moved states and I work st my uncles grocery store. Basically, I am simply lost.

I am intelligent, I am confident enough to say that. I really want to go to college, but my parents and I have had a falling out for various reasons the main one being that I am not succumbing to their pressure to join their fanatical new cult religion! (No im not joking). I don’t know where to go next career wise, I don’t know my next move. I don’t know if I should just save every penny I make so I can move out and go to school and take some time off riding which is already killing me but I guess it would be for the best. I’m broke, and I have fucked my credit and to be completely honest I haven’t felt happiness in almost a year. I’m not blaming anyone. I’ve made a lot of mistakes, I’ve burned myself a lot of times. I’m responsible for this. And that’s why I’m not counting on anyone to help me.

I need to find a way to be independent. I’ve been suffocated for a long time and everything in my being is ready to explode to be independent which is the only way I know I will truly come close to my potential.

I’ll be honest though, I fluctuate between being sad and feeling hopeless and being extremely driven to succeed because I’m still doubting myself and the idea that I could actually be successful. I’m

You might be wondering why the hell I would choose moto related on vitalmx to ask this question. It’s because of a few reasons. First of all there seems to be some people with good life experience, wisdom, and intelligence on this forum and also because I would personally help any of my motocross brothers if I could and I think that sentiment is shared.

You can still call me a snowflake millennial or some bullshit if you want to tho.

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7/19/2018 9:38 PM

Sure, I’ll give you some advice:
Work hard. The harder you work (job, school, ect), the less time to dwell on problems.

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Instagram: @motoxeno


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7/19/2018 9:41 PM

No point doing college if you’re unsure what you want to do. Work a regular job, move out, enjoy life and moto on your weekends.

Take the time to work it out mate, you’re only 21. There’s no rush.

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7/19/2018 9:43 PM

You're 21, things will eventually sort themselves out. For now just try staying positive. Get out of your comfort zone and try new things you haven't done before.

Remember that we do not choose our parents. You don't have to follow in their footstep.

The good news is that you're an adult and can make your own choices. Good or bad you'll learn from them.

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"Sorry Goose, but it's time to buzz the tower."

7/19/2018 9:45 PM

Honestly, I'd say your about as self aware as 21 year olds come. I have friends in their forties that couldn't give such an honest life assessment.

Make 5 and 10 year goals and then put your head down and bust some ass. you'll be there before you know it.

Find a cool older dude who has his shit together at the track and ask him to mentor you.

It's really just about hard, constistant work and limiting bad decisions and mistakes and when mistakes are made quick assessment with no guilt, then move forward.

It will work out. Trust me.

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7/19/2018 9:46 PM

Stay single bro....divorce and the strife that goes along with it can break you for good.

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7/19/2018 9:46 PM

That's life brother. You need to work at it and get yourself out of the hole. I'm 24 one of 5 kids brought up with a single mother. She's a post lady. She lived paycheck to paycheck Keeping us fed.

It's better to just deal the hand your dealt man. I know it sounds shit but that's how it is sadly. It's better to try and improve your situation than dwell on it and get more depressed.

Also ride Moto whenever you can! ✌️✌️

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I used to think I was indecisive, but now I'm not too sure.

7/19/2018 9:55 PM

Lots of construction places and heavy machinery places offer apprentice programs for people starting out. Might not make much now but you are young and in 10 years you will be making a decent living. Thats if you dont mind hard work. As far as your family life and issues, you only have 1 life man and its gunna go by fast. Dont sit around and bask in your own shit. Get up and do something about it.

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7/19/2018 9:57 PM

Sounds like your financial situation may not support moto, I have been there myself while in college. This is what I did to get by for a couple years until I graduated and got a good job. Buy a used mountain bike off Craigslist decent hardtails can be had for $100 in my area. Riding pedal bikes helped me with my physical fitness as well as emotional well being. I found that long challenging rides helped me develop mental toughness that helped me get through day to day stresses easier.

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7/19/2018 10:07 PM

Riding might have to take a back seat for a while, and it will again from time to time.
See if you can at least be working on your G.E. at a local community college to keep costs
down and maybe you'll find direction along the way. Might have to work a couple jobs but
get that debt handled ASAP.

Surround yourself with good people. The old saying "if you want to see yourself in five years, look
at the friends you have now" is very true. Stay way, way far away from the party crowd. Eat right, exercise
and stay healthy; it will let you make better and more clear decisions.

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7/19/2018 10:23 PM

Get a job at a major Railroad. Awesome job for a single young man. Union gig paying good wages. Fix your credit and pay cash money for everything. No credit cards. Plus you have good health insurance in case you crash your dirtbike. And if you like it the retirement is second to none.

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7/19/2018 10:34 PM

JWACK wrote:

Get a job at a major Railroad. Awesome job for a single young man. Union gig paying good wages. Fix your credit and pay cash money for everything. No credit cards. Plus you have good health insurance in case you crash your dirtbike. And if you like it the retirement is second to none.

Need to use credit cards to fix/build up your credit unless you have a mortgage which in his case he doesn't. Paying cash isn't the best way to go about it.

Just have to make sure to pay it off at the end of the month.

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"Sorry Goose, but it's time to buzz the tower."

7/19/2018 10:38 PM
Edited Date/Time: 7/19/2018 10:42 PM

If you can’t ride go to some local races or riding spots and stay connected to this hobby AS you straighten things out. They will straighten out.
One other thing, volunteer somewhere, even if it is just at church.

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7/19/2018 10:47 PM

JWACK wrote:

Get a job at a major Railroad. Awesome job for a single young man. Union gig paying good wages. Fix your credit and pay cash money for everything. No credit cards. Plus you have good health insurance in case you crash your dirtbike. And if you like it the retirement is second to none.

-MAVERICK- wrote:

Need to use credit cards to fix/build up your credit unless you have a mortgage which in his case he doesn't. Paying cash isn't the best way to go about it.

Just have to make sure to pay it off at the end of the month.

Having a lil Money in the bank helps. Get Secure loans and Dnot take the money and spend it. They pay themselves off without you ever really owing money and works great for fixing credit and not going into debt further. That and actually paying off your past due debts. No credit cards.

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7/19/2018 10:57 PM

JWACK wrote:

Get a job at a major Railroad. Awesome job for a single young man. Union gig paying good wages. Fix your credit and pay cash money for everything. No credit cards. Plus you have good health insurance in case you crash your dirtbike. And if you like it the retirement is second to none.

-MAVERICK- wrote:

Need to use credit cards to fix/build up your credit unless you have a mortgage which in his case he doesn't. Paying cash isn't the best way to go about it.

Just have to make sure to pay it off at the end of the month.

JWACK wrote:

Having a lil Money in the bank helps. Get Secure loans and Dnot take the money and spend it. They pay themselves off without you ever really owing money and works great for fixing credit and not going into debt further. That and actually paying off your past due debts. No credit cards.

Need assets for a secured loan. Doesn't look like the OP is in that type of situation.

One thing's for sure, don't finance a hobby.

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"Sorry Goose, but it's time to buzz the tower."

7/19/2018 11:28 PM

I’ve been doing some video work with this brand called “Find Your Grind”
https://findyourgrind.com/

They have videos and information on all alternative careers and help kids find their path. It’s geared toward high schoolers, but in your case it can help lead you. Check it out and let me know if I can help you.

Youre At an interesting time in life, you shouldn’t be sad and or down on yourself. This is the prime time, you need to embrace it. Once you find your direction, you can go full steam ahead.

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7/20/2018 1:01 AM

JWACK wrote:

Get a job at a major Railroad. Awesome job for a single young man. Union gig paying good wages. Fix your credit and pay cash money for everything. No credit cards. Plus you have good health insurance in case you crash your dirtbike. And if you like it the retirement is second to none.

-MAVERICK- wrote:

Need to use credit cards to fix/build up your credit unless you have a mortgage which in his case he doesn't. Paying cash isn't the best way to go about it.

Just have to make sure to pay it off at the end of the month.

Someone needs to watch Dave Ramsey....
debt is dumb, CASH is KING
Billionaire mark cubin said, “if you use credit you don’t want to be rich..”
credit cards and financing are the trap for the middle class

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Realtor/ Moto dad/ from Sacramento CA —> Coeur d’Alene ID

7/20/2018 1:03 AM

Try to get enrolled at a community college. I was able to pay for it as I went, and it was incredibly easy to get scholarships too. I just would find the scholarships at the financial aid office and would write a page about my goals or other college related things and I woild get $1000 easily. Most college aged kids don't realize how easy it is.

It took a while for me to find the right career path. I was 29 when I finished nursing school. I started working on gen eds at community college and got an entry level job at an ER as a nurse assistant. It was crazy hard work. But it led me to where I am now as a nurse. I can work wherever and whenever I want. Please consider it. There were a lot of good looking girls in nursing school too.

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Instagram: vanillaice782
Amateur helmet painter

7/20/2018 2:00 AM

Xeno wrote:

Sure, I’ll give you some advice:
Work hard. The harder you work (job, school, ect), the less time to dwell on problems.

Some truth in this. Sometimes a full time job is not enough for people with your drive and emotions. Work and go to college/ Uni at night. Work your butt off and pursue something that you are good at. Reward yourself with bikes and trucks later. I took the hard road through university because I wanted to work so I could still ride and race. It was a tough grind. I probably would have been better off to just plow through school and then enjoy the rewards later. Oh well, kept me out of trouble and allowed me to ride. As Xeno said, stay busy and stay focused. Your aunt and uncle will appreciate and respect that too. At least you care and that alone will get you somewhere.

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7/20/2018 2:02 AM

-MAVERICK- wrote:

Need to use credit cards to fix/build up your credit unless you have a mortgage which in his case he doesn't. Paying cash isn't the best way to go about it.

Just have to make sure to pay it off at the end of the month.

JWACK wrote:

Having a lil Money in the bank helps. Get Secure loans and Dnot take the money and spend it. They pay themselves off without you ever really owing money and works great for fixing credit and not going into debt further. That and actually paying off your past due debts. No credit cards.

-MAVERICK- wrote:

Need assets for a secured loan. Doesn't look like the OP is in that type of situation.

One thing's for sure, don't finance a hobby.

There's a way to do a secured loan that raises your credit without actually tying up any cash.

After a failed business, my credit got pretty messed up.
After finding another job, on a payday, I walked into my credit union and told them I wanted to do the secured installment loan to rebuild my credit. They actually recommended it.

With 2k in my checking account, they did this:
Transferred the 2k into a secured savings account to secure an installment loan for 2k.
They then loaned me 2k with the secured savings account being the security.
They then deposited the $2k back into my checking account.

I walked in with $2k in my checking account. I walked out with $2k in my checking account.

Each month, on a payday, I made the $176 payment which then made available about $170 from the secured savings account.
I then transferred the $170 back into my checking account, and paid the rest of my bills.
It cost me about $6 or $7 a month to have the loan, without really having anything securing the loan.

Because the loan is very secure, the interest rate was maybe 4%.

After about 4 months, my credit scores jumped 20+ points.

I've since did it again with $4k, and my score continues to rise.

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7/20/2018 2:06 AM

Military!

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"Shifting gears and passing queers" GL

7/20/2018 2:21 AM

Get into the oil field, lineman school/job, welding. All will keep you too busy to ride at the moment, but eventually you will be making good money and have time for riding.

Or military. Just don't believe anything your recruiter promises you.

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7/20/2018 2:58 AM

If you were smart you would invest in bitcoin, If you had of put in $1000 around xmas time you would have $200 now

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7/20/2018 3:07 AM
Edited Date/Time: 7/20/2018 3:17 AM

JWACK wrote:

Get a job at a major Railroad. Awesome job for a single young man. Union gig paying good wages. Fix your credit and pay cash money for everything. No credit cards. Plus you have good health insurance in case you crash your dirtbike. And if you like it the retirement is second to none.

-MAVERICK- wrote:

Need to use credit cards to fix/build up your credit unless you have a mortgage which in his case he doesn't. Paying cash isn't the best way to go about it.

Just have to make sure to pay it off at the end of the month.

Racer331 wrote:

Someone needs to watch Dave Ramsey....
debt is dumb, CASH is KING
Billionaire mark cubin said, “if you use credit you don’t want to be rich..”
credit cards and financing are the trap for the middle class

Someone needs to read Robert Kiyosaki and understand good and bad debt. Here is a fun way to learn....http://www.richdad.com/apps-games/cashflow-classic. Dave Ramsey is for people who can't think for themselves and lack self discipline. THAT is why financing is a trap. Otherwise, credit cards are a free 30 day loan with great rewards programs. I've travelled for free for years on reward points/bonuses and as a direct result, I've learned more about myself and life than any job or school could teach me. Financing opens up the door for opportunities that otherwise wouldn't exist. The key is not getting caught in the rat race and living above your means. Rich people get rich by acting poor. Poor people stay poor by acting rich. Also, getting away from the "more, more, more" materialistic mentality leads to a much more fulfilling life. Otherwise you are chasing the short lived high of buying new shit and you end up being 50 and miserable.

In response to the OP, learn to find the good in every situation. You may not see it right away but there are always positive things that result from shit situations. Many people focus on blaming other people instead of being grateful for the lessons. Your independence, self awareness, motivation, and a host of other positive traits about you have come directly from your experiences growing up. As Tony Robbins said in his Netflix documentary, "If you are gonna blame them for the bad, you have to blame them for the good too". That completely changed my view on a shitty situation I was in and ever since then, I've adopted the mentality of "You win or you learn, but never lose". Recognize that life is a process and learn to enjoy it. It's not always smooth but that's why it's rewarding.

Want to be happy? Focus on personal growth, find reasons to be grateful, and find something to be in service of that is bigger than yourself. Listen to podcasts, read, learn to like learning. It's a lifelong skill and one that will take you places you could have never imagined.

My suggestion, go into your local fire department and fill out an application to volunteer. Free training, help your community, and build deep relationships with good humans. Plus, you still have the time to find a way to pay the bills or ride. If that isn't for you, research which jobs are in need of people and choose one that you think you'll be passionate about. Trades, machinists, pilots...

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7/20/2018 3:52 AM

Can’t believe no one has said this “TRAVEL!!!!!” get some money together and go backpacking or whatever and go see the world, you will learn to appreciate the things you have, traveling changed my life and I met so many amazing people along the way.. get out and live, do it alone for the best experience!

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7/20/2018 4:20 AM
Edited Date/Time: 7/20/2018 4:21 AM

-MAVERICK- wrote:

Need to use credit cards to fix/build up your credit unless you have a mortgage which in his case he doesn't. Paying cash isn't the best way to go about it.

Just have to make sure to pay it off at the end of the month.

Mav gets it. This is how I was raised. Parents got me a credit card at 16, mother said don’t ever swipe it unless you have the cash to pay it off at the end of the month. I’ve only ever made an interest payment on a credit card once when I forgot to pay off a $25 balance at the end of the month.
Mortgages don’t always show up on your credit score. Mine never did.

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7/20/2018 4:27 AM

Learn a trade ,like machining . Don't just be a CNC guy though ,learn it all . You can go anywhere and find work with those skills. Watch stand up comedy ,like on YouTube. Find a milf with a big ol furry muff to have some fun with.

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7/20/2018 4:58 AM

blockhead17 wrote:

Can’t believe no one has said this “TRAVEL!!!!!” get some money together and go backpacking or whatever and go see the world, you will learn to appreciate the things you have, traveling changed my life and I met so many amazing people along the way.. get out and live, do it alone for the best experience!

100%

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7/20/2018 5:21 AM

blockhead17 wrote:

Can’t believe no one has said this “TRAVEL!!!!!” get some money together and go backpacking or whatever and go see the world, you will learn to appreciate the things you have, traveling changed my life and I met so many amazing people along the way.. get out and live, do it alone for the best experience!

I did the same thing.. it’s amazing where you may end up in life. All plans go out the window and perspectives change as you broaden your horizons. Things that may have seemed impossible or hopeless start looking achievable.

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"Nothing happens until something moves"

7/20/2018 5:46 AM

fanger wrote:

No point doing college if you’re unsure what you want to do. Work a regular job, move out, enjoy life and moto on your weekends.

Take the time to work it out mate, you’re only 21. There’s no rush.

No idea why this got 2 thumbs down so far. This is great advice. No point in going into debt for general studies...

And I agree, You're only 21 man. Don't be so hard on yourself. Work hard at your job and leave each day with a sense of accomplishment. Do what you love every day.

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