How to be a "proper" 50 dad

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4/6/2018 8:26 AM

I was bored at work and figured I would have a little fun. We all have stories about 50 dads. With that in mind I thought why not make a manual for new 50 dads for the track. This way you can be yelling at JR properly in no time. I already looked to see if this thread had been started , I was unable to find anything. I also completely understand if this makes the trip to the Dumbgeon.

Do's:
1. Make sure to follow your kid all over the track , yelling at the top of your lungs for them to go faster.
2.Be super aggressive with your kid in the pits,that way all the parents around you know that you are serious about your kid winning.
3. Constantly remind your kid that they must win today.
4. Talk to any friends you brought with you about "that one time on your 450 in the desert".
5. Try to get your kid to jump on their first ride. That way they can win of course.

Dont's:
1. Have fun were not getting paid to do this anyway.
2. Allow your kid to decide when they have had enough.
3. Tell your kid you were watching them , and they looked good.
4. Ride with your kid and allow them to see you fail as well.
5. Take the time to show your child how to develop skills,with the understanding that it takes time to get better.

I have a million more of these , but I want to see what everyone else thinks as well.

Have fun

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4/6/2018 8:38 AM

One track day i seen a 50 dad screaming at his two kids... on a an open practice day. Add that to the list

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4/6/2018 8:47 AM

Don't forget to throw a helmet at the very least weekly.

Make sure people know that you have "sponsors".

Protest anyone and everyone.

Buy the biggest camper that you can find.

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4/6/2018 8:54 AM



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4/6/2018 8:57 AM

876moto wrote:

Don't forget to throw a helmet at the very least weekly.

Make sure people know that you have "sponsors".

Protest anyone and ...more

Don't forget to have 4 practice bikes and 3 race bikes for your 8 year old that rides the 65 beginner class

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2017 RMZ450
2005 YZ250-sold :,(
1998 YZ250
2005 KX250F

80% of the time it works every time
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4/6/2018 9:00 AM

That's how it's done!

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4/6/2018 9:01 AM
Edited Date/Time: 4/6/2018 9:02 AM

Consume copious amounts of bush light beer to help with decision making.

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4/6/2018 11:20 AM

Let him/her have fun. Remind them how important school is.

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4/6/2018 11:38 AM
Edited Date/Time: 4/6/2018 11:39 AM

ya know, I guess I was lucky.

My dad treated it like most every stick/ball sport. He helped me line up at the start. He whispered a few words to me about being safe.

Throughout the race, I'd see him giving me the "WFO" throttle hand sign to me each time I'd go by.

Then I'd get 12th place and he'd ask me in the pits, "Was that fun or what?" (not really - I was 3rd in Texas at Rio Bravo and got 10th at Ponca).

He never asked me about technique or where I could do anything differently or how I could have been more aggressive - it was just basically: "Did you have fun? COOL!" and that was it. And then I'd go cheer on my friends and we had a blast. Just zero pressure.

I stuck with it competitively until about 14 when I discovered girls. :-(
I've got a 12y old now with a 65 (that he's outgrown) and he tries to murder that bike with his speed so I'm afraid that as a dad, I try to actually keep him away from it for fear of him going for the 90' triple. :-)

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4/6/2018 11:45 AM

-Make sure to let your kid know anytime another rider is doing something faster/better/bigger than he is.

-Practice your encouragements so they roll off the tongue more easily. Some examples would be:
"If you don't win, I'm selling your bike tonight!"
"If you can't win, at least don't get beaten by that girl over there!"
"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about!"

-Yell discouraging epithets at other people's kids if they try to pass your kid.

-Write up a race resume on your kid's behalf. Make sure potential sponsors know that quitting is NOT an option for him.

-Learn how to hold your cigarette in such a way that you don't drop ashes down into the spark plug hole while changing it. Always keep a lit cigarette around children at the races.

-Make sure you present the largest, cleanest and most intimidating truck in the pits. Same goes for your forehead.

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Braaapin' aint easy.

4/6/2018 12:16 PM

Photo

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4/6/2018 12:36 PM

TXDirt wrote:

Consume copious amounts of bush light beer to help with decision making.

...and if anyone disagrees with anything you do, swing! grin

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4/6/2018 1:09 PM

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4/6/2018 1:27 PM

So basically if i pit out of a 2005 minivan and sleep in a old tent with my 4yr old son and nephew this year and have fun it's all wrong? Where's the best best place to buy nut job testosterone pills?

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4/6/2018 1:45 PM

mikec265 wrote:

So basically if i pit out of a 2005 minivan and sleep in a old tent with my 4yr old son and nephew this year and have fun it's ...more

On a side note, if nobody markets a testosterone product called "Nut Job," then I'm going to trademark that name! laughing

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Braaapin' aint easy.

4/6/2018 2:32 PM

Make 4 year old Billy his own Instagram account and act like 4 year old billy is saying big words and typing mile long inspirational paragraphs all by himself.

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4/6/2018 2:55 PM

With declining birthrates how many 50 dads will there be in 2030?

How many Gen. Y parents will be able to afford to take the kids racing? I'm guessing Boomers and Gen. Xers as a whole had more purchasing power and the means to take the kids racing.

It would be interesting to look at mini participation in 1990, 2000, 2010. and 2020 to look for trends.

Also, isn't KTM working on a e-bike that is 50 sized?



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"Thank God my father wasn't rich."
-Hurricane

"You wouldn't take clay to Southwick, so why take sand to Red Bud?"
-DV

"I ride a two-stroke because I am Weigandt-level cheap"
-Me

4/6/2018 3:06 PM

When your 6 year old eats shit on his Cobra and starts crying be sure to harness the "teachable moment" by standing over top of him and screaming like a drill sergeant to GET YOUR ASS UP AND GET GOING BOYYYYY!!!!!!

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4/6/2018 4:27 PM

ttugrad1793 wrote:

ya know, I guess I was lucky.

My dad treated it like most every stick/ball sport. He helped me line up at the start. He ...more

Sounds like a great Dad!

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4/6/2018 4:59 PM

1. Make sure he has a $5,000 mini mt.bike to ride around the pits.
2.Carry a stick on Track walk so you can smack him on the knuckles when your pointing out the Cheater lines on the back part of the track and he's not paying attention!
3. Dont let him have fun between motos,make him watch the starters technique of every moto so he can pull a holeshot.
3. Do Not allow him to fall asleep on the way home. He needs to hear your lecture on what he did wrong for the next 75miles!

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4/6/2018 5:27 PM

I have a hard time believing that this is a normal sight. I sincerely hope im not wrong.

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4/6/2018 5:29 PM
Edited Date/Time: 4/6/2018 5:37 PM

Holy shit if the kid doesn't have a pimp golf cart he ain't gonna fit in ... you dig Bro Daddy !?

Remember it all is a reflection of you Bro-Daddy !!!

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4/6/2018 6:09 PM

As a local referee, I saw so much shit that made my blood boil, and I was vocal about it to said parents.

My kid will only ride if she wants to. She'll never hear me bitch as long as she's having fun. She will be disciplined if she acts out inappropriately ( throws helmet, yada yada) but she will never be disciplined if she doesn't get a certain position.

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4/6/2018 6:34 PM

And when your kid tries their absolute hardest, and pulls up to you and looks up to you with puppy dog eyes, just wanting so bad to get your approval. ....

Frown and yell some cuss words at em and tell them if they don't go faster you're going to sell the bike.

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"If you are going through HELL, keep going."-Winston Churchill
"A man needs a little madness or else he never dares cut the rope and be free"-Zorba
Blur the technicolor

4/6/2018 7:11 PM

oldblood wrote:

And when your kid tries their absolute hardest, and pulls up to you and looks up to you with puppy dog eyes, just wanting so ...more

Classic!!! Hahahahaha!
I ask my son every day if he wants to ride followed by "are you sure"? Its about 50/50 and no interest in racing im happy with that.

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4/6/2018 7:32 PM

I tell my son that no matter what unless hurt to never quit. Today’s society privileges the quitters and he will be better off in the long run as soon we will get sick of quitters
I teach him technique purely for safety purposes.
His speed is his own skill but when he’s riding safe in his mind he can go that bit faster.
Go as a family get mum involved.
DRINK BEER.

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4/6/2018 7:36 PM

KMC440 wrote:

Holy shit if the kid doesn't have a pimp golf cart he ain't gonna fit in ... you dig Bro Daddy !?

Remember it all is a ...more

What happens when the kid goes from getting cool stuff for free from parents to entering the workforce, losing 35% of wages to fund the welfare state, paying inflated housing costs, and becoming a disposable utility for the hapless/lazy Gen. Xers in upper management?

It may be a tough pill to swallow for Gen. Z.

Let the little ones enjoy being a kid because adult life is no picnic! Also, the generational turnover come 2025 may not be good for the economy. If Boomer spending stops and the slack isn't picked up, our consumption based economy may be in trouble. Economic Band-Aids can only do so much.

Let the good times roll!







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"Thank God my father wasn't rich."
-Hurricane

"You wouldn't take clay to Southwick, so why take sand to Red Bud?"
-DV

"I ride a two-stroke because I am Weigandt-level cheap"
-Me

4/6/2018 7:41 PM

As long as they grow up and become an over 25 champ I'll be happy.

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4/6/2018 9:24 PM

yeyograpes wrote:

I have a hard time believing that this is a normal sight. I sincerely hope im not wrong.

Unfortunately, you will see situations just like the ones described at least a couple times a year if you have a kid racing a 50. It isn't every race, but it definitely happens.

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4/6/2018 10:46 PM

Mx391 wrote:

Make 4 year old Billy his own Instagram account and act like 4 year old billy is saying big words and typing mile long ...more

This, this is the most important thing by far. And make sure everyone knows you've already sold your kid out for a 10% off deal with every moto company who offers it. Also, ensure that everyone knows they're putting in the work, making progress, and putting the pieces together while seamlessly tagging at least 20+ companies in each post.


In all seriousness, do these idiot parents ever look in the mirror and go "What the hell am I doing this for?". Seriously, do companies really like seeing blatantly canned crap like that, is it some sort of ego trip for them or something? Do the parents feel empowered or something by stealing any sort of creativity and individuality from their kid? I see this crap all the time and I swear I want to throw my damn phone through the nearest wall/window/unsuspecting bystander. . .

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